~Chapter 33~
Yushen let out a quiet sigh.
“Are you really okay with people saying you’re favoring the new recruit?”
Aydin answered calmly,
“People already say I’m her sponsor, so I don’t mind. It’s true, anyway.”
“Are you saying you’ll accept any disadvantages that come from this?”
“Yes.”
Normally, Yushen would have given permission right away if Aydin was this determined. But he hesitated for another reason.
Aydin’s background as a “commoner” was getting in the way of his promotion.
Even though things had improved, nobles still quietly looked down on commoners. Yushen worried that Aydin, who was considered a miracle among the noble-dominated knights, would get a bad reputation.
Aydin broke the long silence.
“Captain, I know what you’re worried about. You’re afraid everything I’ve worked for will be ruined, right?”
Yushen didn’t reply.
“I’m prepared for that. So, please don’t worry too much and give me permission.”
“…If you say it like that, I can’t argue anymore.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
Aydin bowed his head in gratitude, but Yushen felt uneasy.
He knew Aydin often supported people in tough situations—he himself had donated too. But he wondered why Aydin was being so good to Letitia, just one of many he had helped.
“Aydin, can I ask you something?”
Aydin lifted his head, ears perked, and looked at Yushen.
“…Do you have feelings for that woman?”
Just asking made Yushen’s palms sweaty.
He hoped the answer was “no”—though he didn’t really know why.
‘…Maybe I’m just worried Aydin will get hurt by the witch.’
After all, it was dangerous to get close to a witch.
Yushen waited for the answer, trying to convince himself that was all he was worried about.
“I’m not sure myself.”
The answer was less clear than he’d hoped, but still better than a direct “yes.” But it didn’t last long.
“But there is one thing I can say for sure.”
Yushen had a bad feeling about this, but Aydin’s bright eyes stopped him from interrupting.
“For some reason, I just care more about Miss Montrose.”
“I want to do better for her, and I want her to think well of me.”
Yushen saw the emotion in Aydin’s green eyes, half-hidden by soft brown bangs. Suddenly, his mind cleared.
Honestly, Aydin’s words sounded no different from having feelings. Yushen was now sure Aydin liked Letitia.
“…Alright. Teach her well.”
“I plan to send her back to the medical team, but if she has talent, I’ll help her develop it.”
Yushen was a bit tired of Aydin’s devotion, so he just nodded to let him handle it.
Aydin felt better after Yushen agreed. After all, the misunderstanding was cleared up and the captain had listened.
Aydin turned to leave but looked back.
“Captain?”
Yushen looked at him again.
“Is it okay to touch people now?”
“Huh?”
Yushen understood the question, but it didn’t seem to fit the moment.
“Why do you ask that all of a sudden?”
“Earlier, you didn’t seem bothered when you touched Miss Montrose.”
Aydin’s question was pure curiosity, out of concern for Yushen’s trauma. Yushen was surprised that Aydin was even thinking about it.
What surprised Yushen even more was realizing that he had forgotten his trauma when with Letitia.
Normally, he would avoid even a slight touch, even with people like Winter or Aydin.
‘But for some reason, I never mind touching her. Why do I always… want to be close?’
This unexpected realization made Yushen dizzy. He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them to see Aydin waiting.
Trying to keep calm, Yushen replied,
“…Did it look that way to you?”
“Yes. You were wearing gloves, but you usually avoid touching anyone, even with gloves on.”
Yushen looked at his white-gloved hands, opening and closing them several times.
“…Maybe my brain short-circuited for a moment.”
That was all he could say. He had no better explanation.
Aydin looked like he wanted to say more, but held back—he knew Yushen’s trauma was his own to solve.
Once Aydin left, the office became quiet.
“…Why did I act that way?”
Yushen brushed back his hair and muttered softly.
He knew something was wrong with himself and needed to find out why.
Frankly, he felt like he couldn’t even function normally anymore, because memories of Letitia kept popping up.
‘I really have to fix this…’
He knew he wouldn’t find the answer alone.
On the battlefield, when things got tough, the best method was to slowly search for the cause from the beginning. He decided to treat this problem the same way.
In the end, he made up his mind to watch Letitia more closely, as if starting from scratch.
The next day, I deliberately came to work thirty minutes late.
Yesterday, Aydin had said it was okay to be late so I could send my “family” a package. So, I pretended I’d done that and arrived late.
‘…Now where am I supposed to go?’
Aydin hadn’t told me anything about the new department, so I just stood in the lobby.
If I at least knew the department name, I could find my way.
Feeling lost, I looked around for someone I knew to ask.
“Who are you looking for?”
A gentle voice and a tap on my shoulder came from behind. Aydin, looking much neater than usual, smiled at me.
“Are you looking for me?”
He asked playfully. I wanted to play along—after all, I had been waiting for him.
“Oh? How did you know?”
Aydin’s eyes widened a little, as if he hadn’t expected me to go along with the joke. Then he grinned like a kid.
“I came to meet you. I realized I hadn’t explained anything about your new department.”
Thank goodness he remembered. Otherwise, I might have waited for him forever.
“But your real work will start tomorrow.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Our whole department has somewhere to go today.”
I wondered if that meant I had to go too. Since I’d just joined, I guessed they couldn’t leave me behind.
At least I was sure they wouldn’t ask me to do anything difficult.
We’d be traveling by horse. I’d learned to ride after my first mission, but I was still clumsy.
If I had to keep up with everyone, I knew I’d fall behind, so I confessed honestly.
“Sorry, I haven’t practiced enough.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Aydin said, calmly stroking his white horse.
“Just ride with me.”
“Huh?”
“Why are you so surprised? Didn’t you ride with someone else on your last mission?”
“That was different… Taila was my mentor, but you’re the department leader. Shouldn’t I ride with someone lower-ranked?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to ride with someone else?”
“Why?”
“People might talk.”
“…Oh.”
Aydin sighed, only now understanding what I meant.
“It’s fine if you ride with me.”
“The others ride too recklessly—it’s dangerous.”
I didn’t want to ride dangerously either, but riding with Aydin still felt a little awkward.
“Shall we go?” he said with a bright smile, holding out his hand.
Seeing his cheerful face, I just couldn’t refuse.
