Chapter 59

“Enoch, just give me one more chance! I just want to apologize to her. Even if… even if she got her memories back…”

Disgusting.

“If I say sorry, she’ll understand.”

Blake spoke with complete confidence, not a doubt in his voice.

“She’ll understand we were hurting too. Enoch, you know how much she loved us!”

“Damn it, I feel like throwing up. How did I ever deal with this guy with a straight face?”

Enoch pretended to gag. His voice was full of rage he had swallowed for too long. My throat felt dry and hot. So many things I wanted to say floated in my mind, but everything felt far away.

“You don’t know anything!”

Blake suddenly shouted.

“What makes you so great, huh? What makes you different from us? You’re just another bystander who abandoned her!”

…

I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened the door.

Enoch saw me first. Blake turned around as soon as he sensed me. I looked at Enoch, then at Blake.

“Enoch is different.”

I said it quietly, carefully so my voice wouldn’t tremble with anger.

It sounded ridiculous.

We were all young. But Enoch was the only one who talked to me. Even when I hated and envied him, I still felt happy when he spoke to me.

Enoch didn’t know how I was treated—because I didn’t want him to. I never wanted him to see that. That was my last bit of pride.

Blake looked like he was about to cry, as if he was seeing someone precious again.

I was afraid of those eyes.

I avoided him because it was too painful to be hated by him. I wanted to be loved, but didn’t know how. Even when people called me disgusting, I couldn’t even get mad.

I was afraid he’d hate me even more.

I was afraid… of someone like that.

“You’re okay, Florence! I was so worried something happened to you…”

“…Brother.”

“Father and Grace are worried too. Come home with me.”

“That’s a lie.”

Blake froze. I looked at him like he was a sad little creature.

“I know Father and Sister aren’t looking for me. Especially Sister.”

“That’s a misunderstanding, Florence…”

“You said it too, didn’t you? That if I got in your way again, you’d crush my face yourself.”

“That was… a long time ago!”

I looked him straight in the eye. His lips trembled. He was clearly shaken by the directness. I almost laughed.

He said we disgusted him when we blamed him… but now that I did it to his face, he didn’t know what to do.

“That’s why I ran. I was terrified you’d actually crush my face.”

“I would never do that, Florence… That was all when we were kids. I really care about you.”

“Oh? Why now? Do you need something from me?”

I looked at Enoch instead. He clearly didn’t want to speak but answered:

“The inheritance left in your name… turns out it’s a Seymour family heirloom.”

“Aha.”

“Enoch!”

Without that reason, Father never would’ve let Blake look for me. But I didn’t feel angry or sad.

Blake winced like every word I spoke physically hurt him.

I tried to feel something about his twisted expression—but I couldn’t hold onto any emotion.

Part of me wanted to wipe that fake face away. Another part wanted to dig deeper and hurt him more.

“I’m sorry, Florence…”

…

“We were just kids…”

I wondered—what if he’d acted like the old days? What if he told me I didn’t belong in the family and to leave everything behind?

It wouldn’t hurt at all.

That’s when I knew—my long, painful one-sided love had ended.

They could only hurt me because I chased them. Because I loved them. Because I wanted to be loved.

But now that I’ve stopped loving them, they can’t hurt me anymore.

Now they apologize… only after I let go.

“I was in pain too, Florence! I felt so guilty every time I saw you! Please forgive me. We can start over… I’m sure of it!”

“How can you be so sure?”

“When you lost your memory—maybe you don’t remember, but we made up. We were close again. So…”

“That wasn’t me.”

That was Jang Hyunji.

“Blake, yeah, I know you were hurting too.”

“Florence… so you understand?”

“I understand now how hard it is to hate someone.”

I wondered—did my face look like his now? I didn’t look up, but I could feel Enoch’s pained gaze on me.

Blake’s hopeful face fell completely when I continued:

“But so what?”

“You were in pain from hating me, and now you want my sympathy? You want to prove you’re not like Father or Grace? That you were always sorry, just waiting for a chance to fix it?”

What difference does that make? What makes you any better?

“I’ve lived my whole life wondering if I even deserved to exist! While you felt guilty, I cried and cried thinking I killed our mother. That I took her from you. Grandma told me to forgive and love you—but I didn’t even know if that was right! I didn’t know what I did wrong. I was just sorry for being born…”

“That’s just childish stubbornness, Florence!”

“Maybe. So what? What does that change?”

I laughed bitterly.

“So because you were in pain, I have to forgive you? Because it could’ve turned out differently?”

“No, Florence, I didn’t mean that—!”

“Don’t touch me!”

My scream was sharper than I expected. Enoch rushed forward and stepped between us. He held my shoulders gently. That grounding touch brought me back.

I’m not okay. Not yet. But I have to be.

Blake looked shocked, like he couldn’t believe I’d reject him. Like I’d accused him of a crime.

Not long ago, I stood where he is now.

I straightened my back.

“Blake, if you’re really sorry…”

…

“Don’t tell anyone you saw me today. If you do that, I’ll believe you.”

At least I’ll believe you really did feel guilty.

Blake collapsed to his knees. His shoulders shook, and he sobbed loudly. But I didn’t believe it was for me.

What was he trying to protect?

Did he love the five years of peace Jang Hyunji gave him? The illusion of a perfect family?

I gave Enoch a look. He stared at Blake with tired eyes, then followed me out.

“You’re not seriously letting him live, are you, Florence?”

“Leave him.”

“It’d be safer to kill him. He might tell someone he saw you.”

“He won’t.”

Because Blake still believes he’s a good person.

Laila once said—killing someone who wants to die doesn’t mean anything. So what would hurt Blake the most?

He insulted his little sister and still thinks he’s a good man.

Then he needs to learn the truth.

Still, I needed a backup plan. I made eye contact with Nelson, who was hidden in the shadows. He gave a sly smile, then disappeared.