Chapter 29
The sound of sparks crackling could be heard.
Crack, pop. Slowly, consciousness returned, and so did sensation. I took a deep breath. Mixed in with the cool air was the acrid scent of smoke.
“If you’re awake, you might as well open your eyes.”
“…Mari…”
“She’s still asleep.”
I opened my eyes and slowly lifted my body. There wasn’t a single part of me that didn’t hurt, so sitting up abruptly was out of the question. When I finally managed to prop myself up, I saw Keith sitting by the campfire. He gestured with his chin. Mari was sleeping beside him.
“Not cold?”
“……”
“Not hungry?”
“……”
“Say something, will you…”
Even straining to listen, I could barely hear Mari’s breathing. Keith wore an awkward expression, but when he followed my gaze to her, he just shrugged.
“She’s in better shape than you.”
“She’s missing an arm.”
“Still, I bet that little kid is healthier than you. How the hell are you weaker than some street urchin?”
“…I don’t know.”
It had only been about eleven days since I regained this body. And for most of those ten days, I couldn’t even move, just lying in bed. Keith, who had treated me, probably knew my body better than I did.
Instead of rambling about all that, I focused on putting strength into my legs. They trembled like those of a newborn fawn, but at least they weren’t completely useless anymore. I wobbled as I stood. Keith watched me with wary eyes and spoke.
“Careful, or you’ll fall face-first into the fire.”
Keith was seated beside the campfire, and Mari lay bundled in blankets next to him. They were only a few steps away, but even that distance felt far for me now.
“Burn treatments are no joke, you know…”
“Shut up.”
“Such a rude tone for someone talking to her savior.”
Keith clicked his tongue but didn’t say anything more. He didn’t offer to help or stop me. He just watched.
The first step was the hardest. After three shaky steps, I collapsed next to Mari, drenched in sweat. My head started to tilt forward, but Keith caught my shoulder and straightened me up. Even with my full weight on him, he didn’t seem strained.
“You really are a handful, partner-in-crime.”
“…Thanks.”
“You sure are polite, I’ll give you that.”
“Why say it like it’s the only thing I’m good at.”
“Because I don’t know what else you’re good at yet.”
I’d been called useless too many times to be hurt by it anymore. It didn’t mean it didn’t sting, but I could let it slide. Instead of snapping back, I leaned over to check on Mari. Her labored breathing sounded peaceful. The flickering shadows from the fire made it hard to see her face clearly, but it didn’t look like she was having a nightmare.
That was enough. As long as she was resting peacefully for now.
“So what now?”
“…You’re asking me?”
“Who else? You think I was talking to the sleeping kid?”
Keith sounded exasperated. Of course I knew he wasn’t talking to himself. It was just so unfamiliar to be asked what I wanted to do that I needed confirmation. Besides, why should my plans matter to him?
“Why are you staring like that?”
“…It’s just strange.”
“You’re the strange one, honestly.”
“……”
“Why are you being so cautious?”
“I’m not.”
“Sure you aren’t. So? What’s your answer?”
“……”
“What are you going to do next?”
“Why do you care?”
The words came out harsh. Even toward the person who had saved me and whom I couldn’t repay, I still had that tone. My life must be cursed. Keith sighed deeply and glanced at me with only his eyes. I thought he might be angry.
And he had every right to be. He went out of his way to save me, and here I was being ungrateful and difficult.
“Because we’ll be traveling together. I need to know where we’re going, or if you even have a destination, so I can make plans.”
“Why are you traveling with me, exactly?”
“I told you. We’re partners in crime. Don’t overthink it. I can’t just abandon you now.”
That was exactly what I didn’t understand. Why was it so hard to abandon someone like me?
Keith probably knew I didn’t understand any of this. And he likely understood that I couldn’t wrap my head around his reasoning, so he let it go. Just like I decided not to push further, he did the same. We were too different to understand each other fully, and we knew too little.
“First, we need to take Mari somewhere she can be treated and find a safe place.”
I lifted my gaze over Keith’s shoulder.
We were deep in a forest swallowed by night. The air was damp and earthy, the scent of wet grass sharp. Beneath a sky crowded with stars was a place I didn’t recognize. But I wasn’t afraid, not just because it was unfamiliar. What frightened me more was the thought of Linus catching up to us.
“Where exactly is a safe place?”
“Deep in the forest or somewhere similar…”
We couldn’t stay where people lived. We couldn’t risk creating another burned-down slum.
“You really don’t know anything about the world. Outside of monster habitats, there are settlements. And if there aren’t monsters, there are wild animals.”
Keith grinned. Maybe he wanted me to get worked up, but his provocation missed the mark.
“It’s fine. But Mari can’t come with me to a place like that, so could I ask you to take her? You say you’re my accomplice, but Mari is just a victim. I can’t repay you now, but someday—”
“You said it’s fine?”
“Whether it’s beasts or monsters, it’s still better than Linus.”
“So as long as the knight commander doesn’t catch you, you’re okay with dying?”
Keith’s voice turned cold, and so did his expression. I couldn’t answer right away.
Better to die than be handed back to Linus. That much was true. But Keith had saved me twice. Saying it would be better to throw away the life he saved felt insulting.
“If you really mean you’d rather die, say so now. I won’t waste any more time. I’ll kill you myself. Don’t worry about the girl. I’ll leave her at a nearby orphanage or monastery with a donation. She’ll grow up safe until she’s an adult.”
He spoke quickly, eyes locked on me. The air seemed to vanish. His violet eyes glinted with unfamiliar killing intent, like he might actually do it. I was about to look away but bit my lip instead.
Do I want to die?
“…Of course not.”
“Didn’t hear that.”
“Of course I don’t want to die… After everything I did to survive!”
I looked up. Keith’s expression didn’t change.
“I want to live. I want to live and show that woman who stole my body and those awful people who hate me that I can take my life back! All I ever wanted while she had my body was to reclaim it. I had to get back the life that was taken from me for no reason!”
He probably didn’t understand what I was saying. But once the dam broke, I couldn’t hold it in. My words spilled out like poison being purged.
“Now that I finally have it back, all I’ve done is lose!”
“…”
“Yeah, maybe dying would be better. Better than losing my body again, or ending up worse. I’d rather die on my own terms. But that doesn’t mean I want to die!”
I don’t want to die. I want to live. In my body, living my life.
“Nothing has changed… I knew it. No one would welcome me back. Everyone probably preferred her. Maybe she was even more useful to this world than I am. But this is my body. It’s my life! So why do I have to lose everything?!”
I was out of breath. My lungs ached. I clutched my chest near my wildly beating heart.
I had five years of memories as Jang Hyun-ji, but I hadn’t aged that much. Time flowed differently in this world and that one.
It had only been five months, but it felt excruciatingly long. Every time I passed out in agony, I dreamt of “Florence.”
It would have been better if I’d never seen anything at all.
