Chapter 14
“No, I was just lucky.”
I said it out loud. I was alone in the hallway, breathing in and out. Hearing my own voice made it a little easier to breathe.
“If Father or Blake had found me, they would’ve locked me up until Linus came…”
It was only because it was Grace. She noticed I was back but just walked away. She doesn’t like troublesome things and hates getting her hands dirty even more. She’d rather let her brother or father deal with me instead of doing it herself.
Lishi saw everything and she talks a lot. I couldn’t stay in this house for long. Everyone here gets along strangely well—except with me. Father and Blake will find out I’m here the moment they get home.
“I was lucky. It’s okay. Nothing has changed… I haven’t lost anything…”
I was going to run away anyway.
I hugged myself with both arms. Even though it wasn’t cold, I was shaking. My skin, arms, neck, and face all felt real. My chest hurt every time I breathed. My head was dizzy.
This body is mine. Nothing was taken. I just came back to what I used to be.
“Undine.”
Back to the old me…
“Silph! Salamander! Gnome…”
I’m just back to who I used to be.
Weak and powerless.
No spells came to mind, even though I tried to remember them. I once broke into Father’s study, hoping for a miracle. I could understand the words in the magic books, but they were useless to me. I had no magic. Even though everyone is supposed to have some magic power, I couldn’t use mine at all.
“Why not?! Why?!”
The spirits didn’t hear me. I couldn’t feel any magic.
“That woman used it fine! She used this body just fine! So why can’t I?!”
Angrily, I knocked over a vase in the hallway. It shattered loudly.
No one answered my calls. It felt like even the gods had abandoned me. Unlike my mother who was a spirit master, or my father, Grace, and Blake who are all great magicians, I was the only useless one in this house.
I just went back to who I used to be.
Linus tried to strangle me as soon as he knew who I was. Father and Blake looked at me with doubt. Grace changed her attitude right away. No one had changed.
Unlike Jang Hyunji who could use magic and call spirits so easily, I couldn’t even summon a weak one…
And I was still desperate for their love.
I thought I could hear Enoch’s voice saying, “Just give up. They’ll never love you. Don’t beg them anymore. Get a grip.”
I covered my mouth. My eyes burned.
I thought I couldn’t cry anymore, but tears started falling through my fingers.
‘Why did I think I had to come here right after waking up? Why did I?’
It wasn’t just to escape Linus. It wasn’t really about getting a divorce either. I had another reason.
Even after being pushed away for so long, I came running back like a dog with its tail on fire, hoping to get just a piece of the love Jang Hyunji received from them.
Even if it was fake, even if it wasn’t meant for me…
“U… ugh… hic…”
I wanted someone to care. A kind voice, warm words, a gentle hand, some warmth.
I still hoped that maybe, just maybe, they’d accept me—not her, but me.
“Huh… hic, huhh…”
I thought they hated me because Mother died giving birth to me. I thought they disliked me because I was an unwanted fiancée. But Jang Hyunji was still loved, even with those same reasons. It didn’t matter in her case.
The problem was that I was me.
Enoch used to mock me, but it’s true: a child ignored by not just her family but even the servants needs safe places to hide.
I didn’t want to hide. I didn’t want to be scared of whispers and dirty looks. But even I had weak moments. And when that happened, I couldn’t show my pain to the servants. I was all pride. It was all I had. If I lost that, I’d fall apart.
This mansion had secret passages. Not many knew about them.
‘Lishi might know, but the new maids won’t.’
I could move freely when no one was watching and even escape without being seen if the family was away.
I won’t lose anything more.
Forget the Seymour name. I never liked it anyway. I only need the name Florence—Grandmother gave it to me. I clenched my teeth. I won’t beg people who hate me anymore.
I should’ve let go earlier.
I should’ve listened to Enoch.
If I sell some jewelry, I can hire two mercenaries. I was thinking of either going to the countryside where I lived with Grandmother or finding the Haynes Merchant Group.
‘If I go to the countryside, Linus will find me.’
He’d burn down the whole village if that’s what it took. I’m not joking. I’d be lucky if it ended with just one village. He’s crazy.
Going to the Haynes Group was a gamble too. Enoch might help me… or not. He travels abroad a lot. I don’t even know how to meet him. I might not even make it there. I could get caught before that.
I didn’t think long. I snuck into the maid’s room and stole a hooded robe, then hurried.
Once I got out the back gate, I’d go straight to the mercenary guild. I’d hire someone to escort me to the Haynes Group headquarters. Hopefully, a female mercenary with a good team. I just hoped the jewelry would be worth enough.
Even if they don’t take me in, if I get a fake ID and a job, I’ll manage somehow. I’ll cut my hair and change my face once I find an inn…
“But this body belongs to the woman I loved.”
“This is the body I’ve held. So many times.”
“This body, the one I married, is still mine, isn’t it?”
Linus’s voice echoed in my mind. I could remember everything—his weight, warmth, breath, the way he got close, the feel of skin and fabric. I didn’t know when he’d let go of this obsession. Maybe never. I had to be ready to run forever.
Afraid of losing more?
Even if I have to stab myself in the neck and die, I’ll never let this body go back to Linus.
Better to die than to let that thief win.
Go far away. Somewhere no one knows me.
Forget everything…
Start over.
I opened the back gate.
Creeeaak.
It hadn’t been used in a long time. The rusty hinges made an awful sound. It was still morning, but this part of the estate was always dark and shadowy. I moved carefully. No one would notice me, but at least until I got out, I had to avoid being seen—
That’s when it happened.
Thud!
Someone hit the back of my head.
Everything went black.
