Chapter 11

There wasn’t much conversation during the meal.

Contrary to my anxious expectation of being found out at any moment, Father only occasionally looked at me with a sympathetic gaze. He didn’t seem to suspect me, even though I was slow to respond and spoke less. Especially regarding Linus—he didn’t mention him at all.

Did he think I got hurt in a fight with Linus, or something?

Helen probably said something to that effect. Her misunderstanding ended up working in my favor. To them, I must have seemed just like how Jang Hyun-ji looked when she was feeling down and heartbroken.

Considering how desperately in love Jang Hyun-ji and Linus had been, it wasn’t strange for me to act as if the world had ended over a breakup.

‘Crazy idiots.’

It had actually happened a few times before.

Jang Hyun-ji loved Linus, but she was frequently swayed by other men who loved her. Because of that, Linus had been obsessed with getting rid of them—burying them or killing them—but even that had been nothing more than a thrilling stimulus for her.

And every time they fought, Jang Hyun-ji would run to her family home and throw a tantrum about breaking up—just like I was doing now. And her family would welcome her with open arms every time…

In my memories, Father was a kind man. Blake was the same.

They deeply cherished their family, placing it above all else. When their daughter stubbornly demanded it, they’d even gone so far as to initiate an actual annulment or divorce… Even if it didn’t go through, they at least pretended to try.

Yes, for Jang Hyun-ji, they were the kind of family willing to play along with such absurd performances.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay with you longer, Florence. I’ll see you tonight.”
“You need rest. Grace will arrive in the afternoon, so get some sleep until then.”
“If I sleep right after eating, my face will puff up. I won’t look good!”

Like Jang Hyun-ji—like that woman—I answered brightly with a joking tone.

Blake burst into laughter at my cheerful voice, and Father placed his hand gently on my head.

“It might be better if you gain a little weight. Your cheeks are sunken… maybe from being sick so long.”
“…Do I look bad?”
“Not at all. You’re my daughter. You’re beautiful no matter what.”

So kind.

“I just feel sorry, that’s all.”
“…Okay…”
“Should I sing you a lullaby until you fall asleep?”
“…Do you think I’m a child?”
“You’ll always be my little girl.”

My chest ached. It felt like my lungs were filled with mud—I could barely breathe, and my eyes stung. I bowed my head deeply, and Father and Blake gently patted my shoulders and head before leaving the room. I was finally alone.

Why could they be so kind to her?

Was it only because I didn’t remember anything?

They didn’t even know that I, like Linus, was really someone else.

What was so different between me and her?

Why?

Unanswerable questions rose up with resentment. I’d never expected gentle hands. I would’ve been fine without kindness—I just didn’t want them to hate me. It would’ve been fine if they treated me like a stranger. Just not worse than that.

They gave their affection so easily to someone who wasn’t even related by blood.

My face, mimicking Jang Hyun-ji, felt itchy. I had the urge to dig my nails into it. The voice I used to speak in her cheerful tone—I wanted to wring it out of my throat and crush it.

Even though I’d hated the woman who stole my body, I had still imitated her just to receive a scrap of fake affection. It made me feel pathetic and miserable. But what was worse than having to pretend to be her to receive that kindness…

…was the fact that I had to be relieved that I hadn’t been found out.

I placed my hand on the spot where Father had touched my head. On the shoulder Blake had hugged, I recalled their gazes and gestures again and again.

“Even a stray dog has more pride than I do…”

The fact that I was happy over fake kindness—their gaze, their touch—was the most miserable thing of all.

Because what that demon obtained was something I had never managed to get, no matter how desperately I tried.

I couldn’t even say it had been stolen from me.

I had no tears left. I wanted to throw up the food I’d forced down, but I endured it. I needed strength now because I had work to do. In this fragile body, I couldn’t accomplish anything.

And I had painfully learned—during the months I lived in Jang Hyun-ji’s body—how important it is to be healthy even in a weak and delicate body.

“She really turned everything upside down…”

I looked around the space that used to be my room.

The structure and location were familiar, but everything else was foreign. Objects I’d never seen before were scattered everywhere. Nothing was mine anymore.

In just five years, Jang Hyun-ji had thrown away all of my belongings and replaced them with hers. As if even the traces of me were unbearable, she had obsessively erased every sign of my existence.

“Guess I wasn’t the only one she hated.”

I opened the closet. It was full of clothes that didn’t suit my face or body type. Maybe they were her personal taste, but it looked like she had desperately wanted to declare she was a different person. Whether they fit or not didn’t matter.

Seeing that she had been just as disturbed by me as I was by her made me strangely glad. The traces she had tried to erase were proof that this body was originally mine. I tossed out the clothes and gathered valuables like rings and necklaces. I also collected all the heirlooms my grandmother had passed down.

Jewelry has no written origin. I could use it for emergency funds. I wanted a divorce if possible, but realistically, the chances were slim. Reclaiming a stolen name was meaningless if I died. If Linus regained his senses and came after me, I would be caught. And the false kindness would vanish.

Even if Linus didn’t expose the absurd truth about possession, the result would be the same. I wouldn’t be able to bear myself—begging for scraps of affection by mimicking her. I’d be too pitiful and miserable not to ask why it had been impossible for me.

That growing sense of danger spurred me on. I threw on a coat over my loungewear. After walking down the hallway, I ran into a maid coming from the opposite direction. She had worked in the Seymour mansion since I was a child. I couldn’t recall her name.

“Young Lady?”

The maid recognized me. For a moment, a faint flicker of discomfort passed through her gentle eyes, but it vanished quickly.

This maid had known me from five years ago. I probably hadn’t been a good mistress, so her unease was understandable. In fact, it was welcome. It meant she hadn’t been fooled by Jang Hyun-ji and still remembered me.

“Where are you going? The Master said you were resting…”
“Perfect timing. I have a question.”
“…Pardon?”
“Come here.”

I grabbed her arm and pulled her into a corner. The maid tensed, scanning me warily. Her eyes looked at me as if I were someone unpredictable and dangerous. Oddly enough, I found it satisfying.

“Where’s Enoch Haines?”
“…What?”

Her eyes widened. But she had clearly understood. She was stalling to figure out my intention. I tried to recall her face more clearly. She had been one of the maids who used to giggle behind my sister Grace whenever she berated me.

“The man who used to be Father’s ward. Enoch Haines. Do you want me to spell it for you?”
“Th-that man, well…”
“Where is he?”

Her lips parted, then clamped shut again. Her eyes held insolence, but I waited patiently. The gentle look in her eyes had vanished like a lie, replaced with disgust and irritation.

‘No one changes their opinion after just five years.’

Even so, I felt relieved and even happy. That cheeky maid who used to mock me behind Grace’s back now looked down on me again—and I didn’t mind.

Maybe my family had their reasons for accepting the changed version of me, but the ones most unsettled by it were the servants. They’d enjoyed treating me, a noble-born lady, like a doormat. But now they couldn’t anymore.

Unlike the family members who at least pretended to love Jang Hyun-ji, the servants didn’t care for her. So any shallow favor born from their master’s changing attitude was bound to collapse quickly.

“What’s the point of knowing that now?”
“…”

Still, she was pretty defiant. Her sharp eyes now held a trace of resentment.

“You’re the one who had him thrown out…”
“Me?”
“Technically, you didn’t do it directly. But it was the same thing.”
“Tell me everything.”
“You just stood by and watched when the Marquis Baldwin kicked him out. He was banished just for speaking to you.”

The memory seemed to enrage her.

I closed my eyes and tried to search through my memories—five years of experiences lived in my body by Jang Hyun-ji. These memories had been stored in my head, seen through my eyes, yet I couldn’t recall anything about Enoch Haines. The memories were incomplete. Only the events Jang Hyun-ji had found meaningful were vivid—everything else was faint.

That was exactly why I was looking for Enoch Haines.

He was one of the few things Jang Hyun-ji had never managed to take from me.

 

Because Enoch Haines…
…was someone who never even appeared in her world.