Episode 9
My Heart Hurts… Because of You
Everything happened so fast.
I couldn’t even scream before I fell onto the bed with a thud.
My heart pounded loudly.
It beat even harder when Carlos cast a dark shadow over me and leaned in.
“Your Highness, what are you doing?!”
“Don’t call me that. Say my name—if you’re my woman.”
“…!”
“Come to think of it, when did you ever call me *Your Highness*? Now suddenly?”
I looked up at his pitch-black eyes, breathless.
My chest, slightly revealed through the dress, moved with each shaky breath.
His gray eyes followed that movement downward.
Flustered, I turned red and tried to push him away, not caring whether it was disrespectful or not.
But he grabbed my wrist and pinned me down on the bed.
Now that I couldn’t move at all, he leaned in close and questioned me with a harsh, demanding voice.
“When I left the ballroom yesterday, why didn’t you come after me?”
“…!”
“I waited… thinking maybe you’d come. But then I heard you left the palace with Killian.”
The focus disappeared from his wide-open pupils.
Carlos, seemingly triggered by my dazed look, stared down at me with sharp, intense eyes.
Then, bringing his face close enough for our lips to touch, he spoke coldly.
“So what? Did you and Killian go sightseeing at the duke’s estate? Or go straight to his bed?”
“…!”
“Answer me, Lilliana. Before I lose control.”
Reflected in his fierce gaze was the delphinium on my handkerchief.
The tiny, lovely flower that looked so small on the cloth now seemed to turn black and burn like wildfire in his eyes.
My heart pounded.
I felt so anxious and uneasy, I thought I might go mad.
But I didn’t want to lie to him.
Not because I cared about Carlos—because I didn’t want to erase the kindness Killian had shown me.
I took a deep breath, calming myself, and looked up at him.
Then, clutching his sleeve, I spoke in as steady a voice as I could manage.
“Okay. I’ll tell you the truth. But… not like this.”
“…”
“Please, Your Highness… No, Carlos…”
Honestly, I didn’t expect him to listen.
But he let out a quiet sigh, closed his eyes, and then, with an unreadable expression, stepped back and helped me up.
I stood facing him, feeling a little dazed.
Carlos gripped both my shoulders and spoke in a low voice.
“Nothing happened between you and Killian, right? You left the palace and came straight back to the count’s house, right?”
“…No.”
“…!”
“The Duke took me home. I accepted his kindness with gratitude.”
I bit my lip, expecting him to explode in anger.
But strangely, Carlos was quiet.
Not a word, not even the sound of his breathing.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know why this terrifying man was being so silent.
I glanced up at him—and froze.
His face had gone pale, completely expressionless.
He stood there with his arms dropped to his sides, muttering in a dull, flat voice.
“Killian took you home… But why…”
“Th-the Duke was just being kind. Please don’t misunderstand…”
I didn’t want Killian to get blamed because of Carlos’ assumptions.
So I explained truthfully—but Carlos just sneered.
“Kindness? He *took a woman home* out of kindness? Killian Asta Eden?”
“…?”
“The handkerchief. Where’d you get that?”
Startled, I instinctively hid the handkerchief-wrapped wrist behind my back.
I was nervous.
If I told him it was from Killian, I felt like he’d snatch it away out of jealousy.
Carlos didn’t care about me—he just hated losing his toy. Even so, I didn’t want to give him more reason to be jealous.
“I-it’s just a gift from someone I know. I liked the delphinium embroidery, so I wore it.”
“…”
“It’s not something Your Highness should be concerned about…”
My voice trailed off as I avoided his eyes.
Carlos silently watched my anxious behavior.
Then, with darker eyes and a heavy tone, he added:
“I also sent you jewelry with that dress. Where is it?”
“Th-that… I asked the maid to keep it safe…”
“…”
“If you need it back, I’ll return it. Should I send it now…?”
I cautiously glanced up to check his expression.
But that was all I could say.
Pain. Sadness. Resentment. Regret.
Emotions I never expected shimmered in his gray eyes.
Carlos seemed to realize he’d revealed too much.
He turned away, covering his forehead with one hand.
“I don’t know why I’m like this. Making a fuss over nothing… pathetic.”
“Your Highness…”
“But still… I don’t understand. My heart hurts.”
“…!”
“My heart hurts. Because of you.”
—
## \* \* \*
Something was going wrong.
Carlos… suffering from heartache? Because of me?
“Ugh… I really don’t get it…”
As I let out a deep sigh, Killian glanced at me.
It was a bright late morning. I was horseback riding with him through a field filled with blooming lisianthus flowers.
As Killian had said, the hill was beautiful.
Sunlight poured down over the rolling hills, and the white and pink flowers swayed like fallen cherry blossoms.
Riding a light brown horse in a sky-blue dress, I let my hair flow in the breeze.
Next to me, Killian rode a brown horse, wearing a navy coat.
But as we reached the center of the field, he stopped his horse and turned toward me, his voice gentle.
“Are you alright? You look troubled.”
“Oh, sorry… I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”
“…Did something happen, Lilliana?”
“…!”
My heart skipped a beat when he said my name.
I blushed deeply and swallowed nervously.
Killian dismounted and walked toward me, offering his hand.
Was he asking me to take it?
But I was scared.
I had managed to get on the horse and ride it slowly—but dismounting was still too scary.
Just then, Killian stepped closer to the horse.
He gently wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me down, placing me softly into the flower field.
I was wrapped in warm air, sweet flower scent, and the firm feel of his unfamiliar body.
I quickly stepped back, blushing.
Killian looked more concerned and pulled my hand gently.
“Ah…!”
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
He frowned, bending closer to examine me.
I wanted to scream, *This is your fault!*
But I held it in.
Mustering all my mental strength, I pulled my hand back and looked up at him with slightly teary eyes.
“I just had a bit of a rough morning. I guess thinking about it made my face look gloomy.”
“What happened? Can you tell me?”
“Well… It’s about my friend. No—my friend’s friend.”
“…?”
I shouldn’t have said *friend’s friend.*
Anyway, I decided to share the issue with Killian.
He was a man, after all. He might understand Carlos better than I could.
“There’s this guy. He kept my friend’s friend around like a toy. But today, she felt something different.”
“…What kind of feeling?”
“She thinks… he might actually like her.”
“…”
“He got jealous and anxious over another man’s kindness, even though he usually doesn’t care.”
I watched his now-hazy eyes quietly, then added in a voice full of concern:
“What do you think, Duke? Does that guy like my friend’s friend?”
“…”
“Duke…?”
“…No.”
“…?”
“…Doesn’t seem like he has any feelings.”
—
