Chapter 10
Kahinel drank the juice I had made as if he had been eagerly waiting for it.
I was glad that he finally drank the juice I prepared… but my plan to recreate yesterday’s situation to get some physical contact had completely fallen apart due to his unexpected behavior.
I can’t just go back to my room like this.
I had to make sure—whether physical contact really was the answer or not.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Can I hug you?”
Pffft!
Orange juice sprayed out.
“Did I hear that wrong?”
“You heard correctly. The juice you just sprayed even reached me.”
Kahinel growled, roughly wiping the juice off the corner of his mouth.
“No.”
“Then what about holding hands?”
“That’s a no too. What exactly do you want from me?”
He slammed the glass down so hard that the bottom cracked slightly.
“Tell me what you really want. Stop spouting nonsense.”
Tell him what I wanted?
I took a step closer.
“I need you.”
I was desperate. Only three months remained until the anniversary of my death.
What am I going to do now?
After blurting out that I needed him, I was pretty sure Kahinel wouldn’t even eat with me anymore.
sigh…
I slumped on the bed, burying my face in my knees.
Had I really rushed in recklessly, without any plan?
“But there really isn’t much time left.”
Was it selfish of me to just want to stop being sick?
Was it really that hard to just do what I wanted peacefully?
Well, in my previous life, there was no cure for my illness anyway.
It was indeed difficult for me to be healthy.
But now, things were different. There was a treatment, a remedy, and Kahinel was living in the same house.
So I couldn’t give up.
If there had been no hope from the start, I might have understood.
But knowing that there was hope, I couldn’t let go.
Maybe I should have just asked for a handshake instead.
Ah, that’s not the same. A handshake could have worked if my goal was physical contact.
Holding hands is ridiculously hard.
The more Kahinel backed away, the more I cursed that wretched Dale.
See? I should have been less irritating to Kahinel. The villain is the Marquis of Dale, so why am I paying the price?!
Nothing felt right.
I hated that I had miraculously started a new life only to face a terminal illness again.
I hated that my husband, even in a loveless marriage, constantly suspected me.
I hated that people avoided me because of the creepy loner image Rishua had built.
“Milady, here’s some warm chamomile.”
Anna brought tea and sweet desserts for me since I looked so gloomy.
“Thank you.”
It was a relief to have Anna by my side.
But the person I really needed wasn’t Anna—it was Kahinel.
I sent Anna away and was alone again.
“…Is this really going to happen?”
The curse activated the moment I was alone.
Grabbing my chest, I clutched the handkerchief Kahinel had tossed to me in frustration.
My mind was desperate, but the pain slowed my movements.
I barely managed to bring the handkerchief to my nose and took a deep breath.
“It hurts… so much.”
I didn’t want to hurt anymore.
I was tired of living each day in fear, dreading the pain that could strike at any moment.
Smelling Kahinel’s faint scent on the handkerchief helped me slowly return to my normal state, but I still lacked the strength to stand.
And in the meantime, I still held Kahinel’s handkerchief tightly.
What would I have done if I didn’t have this?
I clutched it close and closed my eyes.
Sleep didn’t come, but my consciousness blurred from sheer exhaustion.
Dim light filled the room.
It felt as if someone were stabbing my heart with sharp nails.
Even unconsciously, I couldn’t endure the pain.
I tried to endure it with the handkerchief, but it was impossible.
The curse was particularly cruel at dawn.
Dragging my body that felt like it could collapse at any moment, I made my way to the hallway.
The ducal castle, cloaked in darkness, was quiet, and I wandered through it like a zombie.
Using the walls for support, I moved step by step.
When I reached Kahinel’s bedroom, I slumped against the door.
Hasn’t he finished work yet…?
The aura seeping through the door was faint.
I had no energy to search for Kahinel, so I relied on the faint smell of him on the handkerchief and the small amount of energy escaping from his room.
It took longer than usual for me to return to my normal state, but I endured the early morning safely.
I tried to go back to my room.
But my body felt like it was sinking to the bottom of a deep lake, weighted by stones, unable to move.
Had I exhausted myself too much?
Even my mind felt heavy.
Anna and Kahinel are going to scold me again.
Thinking that, I closed my eyes.
Kahinel looked down at his sleeping wife outside his room, feeling confused.
Why is she sleeping here again?
He furrowed his brows and wiped his mouth.
He disliked his wife for barging in without regard for his feelings.
But what really frustrated him was that, although he disliked her, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
He still didn’t trust her—but now he felt he should.
Somehow, her running toward him with a smile like a little rabbit had always annoyed and irritated him.
Was it that smile that caused all the problems?
Kahinel couldn’t refuse her.
Not when she babbled to herself loudly, and not when she brought him breakfast.
Once, Albert had said:
“Milady is in the dining room.”
“And?”
“She hasn’t eaten breakfast, nor taken any snacks.”
“What’s your point?”
“She’s been waiting for Your Grace for an hour.”
That had irritated him immensely.
He had thought he could just ignore her regardless of what she did.
But before he realized it, he found himself heading to the dining room.
“Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”
It was a question he had asked many times before.
And every time, she had given the same answer:
“I want to get closer to Kahinel!”
And so, she kept approaching him.
Maybe it would have been better if nothing had changed.
Wouldn’t it have been fine to continue ignoring each other as they always had?
Kahinel sighed deeply.
If she wouldn’t stop, then he would just ignore her.
“Hmm.”
She shrank her body.
His step toward the room halted.
He wanted to ignore her, but he simply couldn’t—it was too irritating.
Kahinel bent down to match his height with his sleeping wife.
In the hallway bathed in soft light, her golden hair shone brighter than the stars in the night sky.
He carefully lifted her, not wanting to wake her.
“Can I hug you?”
Thinking of the morning, Kahinel let out a weak laugh.
He had clearly refused her before and sent her out of the room—so what was happening now?
A strange, inexplicable feeling consumed him as he reached her room.
Opening the door, darkness greeted him.
The moonlight wasn’t enough to illuminate the room so he could bear the fear.
He couldn’t enter.
“…Damn it.”
His breathing quickened.
As his chest rose and fell, so did his wife in his arms.
Eventually, Kahinel stepped back.
Escaping the darkness brought a natural sense of relief, but he had to suppress it, afraid of waking her.
Should I take her to my room?
Kahinel shook his head.
Since she was already scheming to sleep in his bed, he couldn’t let her sleep there.
It was his last shred of pride.
Still holding her, he went downstairs, out of the private quarters.
When he reached a room, he kicked the door.
After a few attempts, the door opened.
“Who could it be at this hour… Your Grace?”
Taylor, barely awake, was startled awake by seeing Kahinel.
“Follow me.”
“Where? Wait, who exactly are you carrying?”
Kahinel didn’t answer and walked ahead.
Still in a daze, Taylor noticed the brightly shining golden hair.
“Why are you holding Milady?”
“She was sleeping outside my room.”
“Again?”
Kahinel still didn’t answer.
Taylor found the situation even more confusing.
Until now, whenever Rishua had dozed outside Kahinel’s room, he had never reacted.
He just ignored her.
So why now?
Taylor climbed to the third floor, unable to resolve his doubts, following them into the private quarters of the Duke and his wife.
