#61. Growth (4)
Pavel’s curiosity was answered, but he still couldn’t stop avoiding Sasha.
In fact, knowing the reason made it even harder for him to get close to her.
‘I…’
Pavel clenched his teeth.
It wasn’t just anyone—it was Sasha.
She was his savior when he was lonely and had cared for him like a sister since he was young.
To have such impure desires for someone like Sasha made him feel dirty.
Pavel frowned deeply and clenched his fists.
“Disgusting.”
He muttered as if chewing over the thought.
…Actually, there was no need to think so negatively.
This was just a natural part of a boy’s growth during puberty, caused by hormone changes.
The problem was that the one who taught him all this was none other than Nikolai.
Though born a commoner, Nikolai joined the Black Wolf Knights young and was an undeniably talented swordsman.
But—
“Before rolling on the battlefield, you should enjoy everything first!”
Nikolai often said this.
He loved people, liked drinking parties, and enjoyed all sorts of pleasures.
In his private life, he was not a man to be admired.
He often got scolded to watch his words…
That was why Pavel felt ashamed.
Nikolai explained Pavel’s strange symptoms with very blunt terms.
And—
“Take this and read it. It’s a precious book of mine, but since you’re the young master, I’m giving it to you. Read it carefully.”
He even gave Pavel a red book secretly shared among commoners.
This book was famous for its artistic illustrations of nude scenes inside.
Of course, only people like Nikolai praised it…
“Such trash!”
For people like Pavel, it was shocking, terrifying, and infuriating.
Thud!
The book was thrown carelessly on the floor.
Imagining Nikolai’s face turning sad seeing this made Pavel feel a little better, but his own face remained stiff.
…The future looked bleak.
‘How am I supposed to look at Sasha’s face from now on…!’
Pavel sighed deeply from his heart.
When Pavel was struggling alone—
“How should I handle this?”
Sasha, too, was deeply worried, thinking of her husband as one.
“Hmm. It’s difficult, really difficult.”
Pavel’s avoiding her because of puberty made Sasha sad but she understood.
At that age, kids often see their guardian’s care as interference and get annoyed.
Because she knew this, Sasha hadn’t directly asked Pavel why he avoided her.
But she could no longer stand by silently.
“If we leave it like this, we’ll grow distant.”
People can drift apart over small things and never see each other again.
Sasha wanted to fix her relationship with Pavel before it became too late.
“How do I do that?”
Even for someone with twenty-three reincarnations like Sasha, it wasn’t easy.
She called Andrei, Pavel’s guard knight who spent the most time with him, hoping for help.
But—
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why the young master is acting like this either.”
Andrei answered with a heavy voice.
“That so?”
Sasha’s hope for a clue was broken immediately, and she lowered her head.
Andrei’s face also darkened.
He watched Sasha thinking deeply.
A few days later, Andrei came without being called.
“Why don’t you go to the workshop street?”
“Workshop street?”
“Yes. My mother said that in cases like this, giving a gift and creating a chance to talk works well.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yes. When my father and I fought, even a small sincere gift would soften his mood.”
If Andrei’s mother was a veteran with at least 20 years of marriage experience—
The Medvedev couple was famous for their harmony.
Sasha herself had no real experience of normal married life.
Her past lives made normal marriage impossible.
Even in her last life, she forgot her past but died too soon to marry.
So…
“They said married couples are closest, but must be more careful because of that.”
The advice sounded reasonable.
Though Sasha doubted if Pavel would change just by a gift.
It wasn’t a fight but one-sided avoidance, so the advice wasn’t perfect.
Still, it was advice from someone who understood normal marriage.
‘I’d better follow this advice than worry alone.’
And she felt bad to ignore Andrei’s effort.
Andrei was usually stern and focused on training.
For him to ask his mother for advice to help Sasha was brave.
Sasha imagined how awkward Andrei must have felt.
“Okay. This is better than doing nothing. Pavel’s birthday is coming soon, too.”
“Then…”
Andrei, unusually hesitant, said:
“I’ll join you.”
“Andrei?”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you busy?”
“I’m fine.”
“It might be troublesome…”
“It’s my duty. Not troublesome at all.”
Hearing that, Sasha couldn’t refuse.
“Thank you. I’ll accept your help.”
Andrei smiled brightly.
“I’ll serve you safely.”
Neither Sasha nor Andrei knew—
His voice was a little more cheerful than usual.
Until recently, Pavel was the one avoiding Sasha.
Now Sasha was the one avoiding Pavel.
That unsettled Pavel.
What troubled him more was Sasha sticking close to Andrei.
Andrei Medvedev.
He had everything Pavel lacked.
A big strong body.
Trustworthiness from his calm personality.
Masculine charm from all these combined.
Pavel, five years younger and treated like a child, didn’t have those.
So Pavel always worried.
No one compared them, but Pavel compared himself to Andrei.
Surely he had strengths Andrei didn’t.
But he thought only of Andrei’s better traits.
That grew into deep inferiority.
He hated thinking about it, but couldn’t help it.
It annoyed him again and again.
So just seeing the two together made Pavel crazy, and even more—
“Then I’ll get the carriage…”
“Yeah, that’s good. Oh, Pavel.”
They whispered close together and stopped talking when Pavel appeared.
‘Why stop talking?’
Pavel swallowed the question that rose in his throat.
If he held Sasha’s hand, he would easily know why.
But he didn’t want to spy on her without permission.
He never wanted to see Sasha disappointed.
But he was so curious it was driving him crazy.
Heat rushed to his head.
“…Why? Finish what you were saying.”
Pavel said calmly.
But the two smiled awkwardly and stopped talking.
Pavel’s eyes narrowed. Something was wrong.
“I’ll be going now.”
Sasha hurried away unusually quickly, and Pavel’s suspicion grew.
“…What’s going on?”
“Well…”
Andrei, unusually flustered, hesitated.
If it were Nikolai, he’d distract Pavel with jokes.
But honest, blunt Andrei just kept quiet and looked troubled.
That was even more suspicious.
Didn’t he realize his silence was suspicious?
But his tightly closed mouth wouldn’t open no matter how much Pavel pressed.
Losing patience, Pavel asked again:
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with my wife lately. Is there a reason?”
He asked casually but stressed “my wife” on purpose.
“Well…”
Andrei looked uncomfortable and hesitated again.
That bothered Pavel even more.
If it were nothing, just say it.
Why try so hard to hide it?
‘Why?’
Pavel’s eyes narrowed sharply.
Unable to hold back, he started making excuses in his head.
If it weren’t Sasha, if someone else accidentally found out, it would be okay.
“That…”
Pavel brushed Andrei’s hand as if by accident.
The moment their skin touched, Pavel felt Andrei’s thoughts:
[They were planning to go to Tailan street the day after tomorrow with the young lady.]
‘What?’
Sasha going out alone with Andrei?
Pavel froze.
And if it was Tailan street…
Pavel remembered what Nikolai told him recently:
“Next time, take the young lady to Tailan street. It’s a popular date spot among young couples.”
Seeing Sasha and Andrei going alone to Tailan street—
Imagining the two of them on a quiet date, Pavel’s eyes flared with jealousy.
