#100. The Token of Luck (2)
But soon, Dmitri collected his emotions.
After all, it was just a newborn baby who couldn’t even babble properly. He thought it didn’t matter since the child wouldn’t understand anything.
Instead of an apology, Dmitri let out a sob. He couldn’t hold back the feelings he had never shared with anyone else, not even his son.
“Why did you leave me alone? Why?!”
“Waaa…”
“You should have lived! Not some heir that isn’t even needed, but you…!”
And then, it happened.
“Hmm?”
The child, who was holding Dmitri’s finger, smiled. The baby, whose face had been red from crying until Dmitri arrived, now had a smile.
“……!”
At that moment, Dmitri’s heart seemed to stop.
He had thought the child looked just like him, but now he saw the face of his wife in the child.
The baby’s bright smile reminded him of his wife, who had always been the most beautiful when she smiled.
The realization hit him hard.
The child was not only his own blood, but also the last trace of his wife that she left behind.
Seeing that truth with his own eyes, Dmitri could no longer blame Pavel.
But taking care of Pavel directly was another matter.
Dmitri still hadn’t moved on from his wife’s death.
His emotions were often in turmoil, especially on the anniversary of her death, when his mood would fluctuate dramatically.
Without realizing it, he would curse the world and say things he shouldn’t. And every time he realized it too late, he would feel pain. Those words weren’t truly his feelings, but maybe, unconsciously, they reflected his true emotions.
If that were the case…
“…I could hurt my son, Pavel.”
Dmitri, trained on the battlefield, could easily imagine himself hurting his small and fragile son.
It sent a chill down his spine, and a tremor started from his fingertips and spread through his body.
…So he turned away.
It was a cowardly decision.
He shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have run away because he was afraid he might harm his son. No matter the reason, he should have been by his child’s side, taking care of him as a parent.
But he hadn’t. He made excuses, saying it was just his nature, and he failed in his duty as a parent.
He was terrible. The worst kind of parent. Someone who couldn’t even be called a parent.
“It’s alright.”
Pavel’s words stopped Dmitri’s endless self-blame.
“It’s alright.”
Dmitri didn’t know about Pavel’s abilities. Perhaps he had an inkling, but not in detail.
He didn’t know that just by holding hands, Pavel could sense all of his emotions and thoughts. If he had known that, maybe he wouldn’t have let his mind wander so much.
To the father who didn’t know anything, Pavel’s reassurance seemed out of place.
But Pavel couldn’t stop himself.
“You’re my only parent, and it doesn’t matter who you are. You’re still my father.”
“……”
“There was a time I resented you, but I never thought you were the worst.”
This was the truth.
At the time, Pavel didn’t think it was Dmitri’s fault; he thought the problem was with him, a monster of sorts.
Even after meeting Sasha and changing his mindset, he never really thought Dmitri was a bad parent.
Back then, it was because he was indifferent, and now…
“Now, I think you’re a good father.”
“……”
Dmitri’s shoulder trembled slightly.
Pavel closed his mouth and turned his head. It was a consideration for his father, who didn’t want to show his broken side to his son.
Looking out at the bright sky through the window, Pavel thought about his childhood. He remembered his stoic father grieving and breaking down after his mother died.
‘If Sasha had died, I think I would have been the same. No, maybe even worse. I wouldn’t have been sane.’
Perhaps, right after burying Sasha, he might have followed her. That extreme thought didn’t seem strange to him at all.
‘But now, I can understand.’
Things were different now.
Pavel had grown up, and with the time he’d spent and the experiences he’d gained, he could now understand his father’s position at that age. How his father had to release his burdens in his own way.
So, this was the least he could do. A small effort to ease his father’s burden before the war.
Pavel quietly waited as his trembling father held his hand.
“……”
“……”
The heavy silence filled the room, but it wasn’t unbearably awkward. It was much different from when they first came in, perhaps because of how much closer they had become.
Meanwhile…
“Sasha, are your lips really dry? Would you like me to put some honey on them?”
Nina, watching Sasha absentmindedly touch her lips, asked.
“Hm?”
“Your lips. I’ve noticed you’ve been touching them for a while. I thought maybe they were dry.”
“Ah…”
Only then did Sasha realize what she had been doing and became embarrassed.
Fortunately, at that moment, the housekeeper came, so Sasha could avoid giving a proper explanation to Nina and just brush it off.
Following the housekeeper’s lead, they went downstairs, where knights were gathered, fully armed, from head to toe.
“Uh?”
Nina’s surprised exclamation made Sasha curious.
‘What’s going on? Why are they all gathered here?’
Her question was soon answered by Dmitri, who appeared in his black armor and helmet.
“Are you leaving for the North right away?”
“Yes. The situation has become serious.”
Dmitri had to leave earlier than expected due to the reports of monsters overflowing and reaching civilian areas. Realizing a large-scale war had to be fought, he immediately began preparing to leave the capital.
“Then, are we going up too?”
“No. You finish your tasks first.”
The tasks Dmitri referred to were the jousting tournaments.
Ever since the long and seemingly endless wars of conquest ended a decade ago, these events had been mandatory for those who received titles.
Pavel was supposed to participate in the tournament, and Dmitri had planned to watch.
After the tournament, they all planned to return to the North, to Velikor Castle, but…
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
At Pavel’s question, Dmitri gave a faint smile.
“Your hands aren’t needed yet. The reason I wanted you to come with us was to help you gain experience for the future, so don’t rush it. Finish your duties, then come.”
“…Understood.”
Satisfied with Pavel’s heavy response, Dmitri gave a faint smile and turned away.
Sasha, standing quietly with her hands clasped, bowed to Dmitri as he looked at her.
“Be careful and come back safely.”
“Alright.”
Dmitri silently watched Sasha, as if trying to remember this moment. Slowly, he spoke again.
“Take care of yourself. You can stay here and enjoy yourself for now, then head up later. Don’t worry about the estate. There are others to handle it, so you can relax.”
“Yes.”
“And…”
He hesitated, lowering his voice so only Sasha could hear.
“Take care of Pavel.”
“……!”
Sasha felt strange hearing Dmitri’s request in his usual gruff voice.
This wasn’t the last time, and they would meet again when the seasons changed, but hearing this kind of farewell felt like he wouldn’t be back.
Sasha blinked in surprise, then replied softly.
“Yes. I’ll take care of Pavel.”
Dmitri gave a small smile at her words. His voice softened.
“You don’t need to take care of him. Just be there for each other, and live well together. That’s what being a couple is.”
“…Yes.”
Surprised by the unexpectedly warm words, Sasha nodded gently, hiding her surprise, as Dmitri turned to leave.
“I’ll be off now.”
Dmitri led half of the knights back to the North.
The other half stayed behind for Pavel and Sasha’s safety when they would eventually return to Velikor in the North.
Though it might seem like a small number of knights left, it was a significant loss of strength, as Dmitri had brought only elite knights.
But Dmitri didn’t hesitate for a moment.
“Make sure to protect Count Volkov and his wife.”
His order was received without hesitation by the elite knights.
Sasha, watching Dmitri and half the knights leave, looked up.
The jousting tournament would begin tomorrow, and whether it was good or bad luck, the sky was clear without a single cloud. There would be no rain to delay the event.
If all went well, they would follow them soon. The jousting tournament would last at most a week, so nothing major would happen in the North during that time.
But perhaps the problem wasn’t in the North.
Every year, there were big and small incidents during the jousting tournaments.
‘I hope nothing happens this year.’
Sasha sighed, hoping it was just her overthinking.
