#02. Wedding (1)
Inside the brideâs waiting room.
âSob, sob⊠Whatâs going to happen to my lady nowâŠâ
Sashaâs nanny, Olga, was crying as tears poured down her swollen eyes.
âMy poor lady⊠Why does she have to marry someone like that? HuuuâŠâ
âStop crying. Youâll be too swollen to open your eyes.â
âMy ladyâŠâ
Sasha gently comforted her, but Olga only cried louder.
Of course, Olga knew crying like this wasnât good for Sasha.
But she couldnât stop.
Every time she saw Sashaâs warm eyes looking at her, her heart broke.
BecauseâŠ
âSheâs not even an adult yet, still so young⊠and sheâs marrying someone whoâs basically dying!â
Olgaâs shoulders trembled.
âThey say heâll die within five years. Then our lady will become a widow in the prime of her youth!â
Olga thought about Pavel Volkov, Sashaâs groom.
Pavel Volkov
The only heir of Duke Volkov, with vast lands and wealth.
But⊠so what?
All the other important things were lacking.
He was also five years younger than Sashaâjust twelve years old.
Not a dependable man, but a child with soft baby hair.
Still, Olga could have overlooked that.
Five years isnât such a big difference when they grow up. Itâs not like heâs ten or twenty years younger.
But that wasnât the real problem.
Pavel had a serious illness that made his position as heir meaningless.
He was said to be terminally ill.
Even though Duke Volkov brought in famous doctors from across the land, the results were the same.
âItâs an unknown disease. He wonât live to adulthood.â
A child like that couldnât be a proper heir.
Even if he was the only son of the Duke, what was the point?
Heâd just die and leave Sasha a widow.
She wouldnât even benefit from the marriage for long. Maybe sheâd be cast out.
Even if they didnât throw her out penniless, what joy could she have, being widowed so young?
That alone made this marriage a tragedy for Sasha.
âAnd even worseâŠâ
Olga shuddered at the next thought.
Ever since the marriage was arranged, sheâd worked hard to dig up all the information on Pavel.
Then she heard another huge flaw besides his young age and illness.
Lowering her voice, Olga whispered:
âThey say Pavel Volkov is like a demon! He swears like a sailor and hits people without thinking!â
She added exaggerated hand gestures to her words, but Sasha didnât seem impressed.
âReally?â she replied flatly.
Olga grew nervous at her reaction.
âWhy doesnât she see how serious this is?!â
What kind of monster must this twelve-year-old boy be for rumors about his violence to spread throughout the empire?
âHow bad must it be?â
Worried thoughts wrinkled Olgaâs face.
She rambled on angrily.
âMy lady, you shouldnât take this lightly! People say his temper is so cruel, heâll probably end up killing someone someday!â
Her emotions grew stronger, and her voice got louder.
It got so noisy it could be heard outside the carriage, and finally, Sasha spoke.
âDonât worry too much, Olga. Theyâre just rumors.â
Sasha stayed calm.
âIf his personality is bad, itâs probably because heâs been sick in bed for so long. That kind of pain changes people.â
âEven with a cold, we get cranky. Imagine being seriously ill for years.â
âWe havenât met him yet, so we donât really know what heâs like. Maybe heâs actually nice, unlike the rumors.â
With that, Sasha gave a small smile to end the conversation.
But Olga couldnât smile back.
âMy goodness!â
Her lady was too kind.
Sasha had always been mature and considerate from a young age. She was selfless, fair, and never spread gossip.
Normally, Olga wouldâve been proud of her.
âBut how can such an angel marry someone whoâs called a demon?!â
This made Olga feel like her heart was burning.
So, she made a promise to herself.
She would be Sashaâs strength in the Volkov family.
No matter how demon-like the Dukeâs heir was!
Even if the Volkov servants treated her badly!
Olga would endure it all and stay by Sashaâs side.
But.
ââŠSo boring.â
Sashaâs thoughts were very different from Olgaâs.
âYaaaawn.â
Sasha sat on the edge of a chair to avoid wrinkling her dress, trying to stifle a yawn.
The wedding would start soon, but she felt nothing.
Sheâd been through too much to get excited over something like marriage.
Some might laughâwhat could a seventeen-year-old noble girl have experienced that was so dramatic?
But Sasha was confident:
âThereâs no one in the world whoâs been through more than me.â
âIs there anyone else who remembers all their past lives? Not just oneâbut dozens?â
Death.
That was the most intense, shocking thing sheâd ever experienced.
She remembered the exact moment she died in a previous life.
She had died young.
âI thought dying in your sleep wouldnât hurt, but I woke up just before the end.â
âAh⊠so this is how it ends.â
She didnât even see her life flash before her eyesâshe just knew it was over.
The pain. The despair. The regret.
Then⊠she opened her eyes again.
âWaaah!â
She was reborn as a newborn baby named Alexandra Arban.
At first, she was confused.
She realized she had died and been born again.
That this wasnât the same world as before.
That her new parents were a couple about her former age.
Everything was strange and unfamiliar.
But worse than thatâŠ
The memories from all her past lives kept coming back.
Not just her last life as a Korean womanâbut all of them, going back hundreds of years.
She had lived dozens of different lives.
As different people, in different worlds.
Sometimes in martial arts worlds.
Sometimes in magical fantasy worlds.
Sometimes in highly advanced scientific societies.
Sometimes in familiar placesâlike now, Rodossâa world she had lived in long ago.
It wasnât Earth, but it wasnât completely new either.
It had been a thousand years since her last life here.
She had lived as different species tooânot just humans.
Men and women.
Animal-like races like beastmen or elves.
Even as a frog or a tree.
Her many lives crossed time, space, gender, and species.
At first, she struggled with identity.
The memories tried to take over her young mind.
Before they did, Sasha organized them.
She worked hard to separate her past from her current life.
Now, her past memories felt like faded sentences in an old book.
Sasha remained as Alexandra Arban, the girl who remembered many past livesâbut was rooted in the present.
But just organizing the memories didnât mean she could adapt easily.
Because remembering all her past lives meantâŠ
She remembered dyingâover and over again.
She grew tired of life.
âWhatâs the point of living, if it always ends in meaningless death?â
She had lived as a powerful king, and as a rich woman who spent money freely.
But she had also lived as grass by the roadside, and as a rat surviving in the sewers.
She experienced both ideal and dreadful lives.
In the end, it always ended the same.
Death.
So, the newborn Sasha became deeply cynical.
She reacted to nothing.
She showed no interest in anything.
Always blank, like someone dreaming with their eyes open.
As a baby, people just thought she was quiet.
But as she grew older, things changed.
While other children babbled and explored with curiosityâŠ
Sasha just lay still with a blank face.
People naturally began to call her “strange.”