MDHO 02

Chapter 02

No, but the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. Why the hell am I using words like “army buddies” in a romance fantasy world?

“Now then, here’s a brief introduction to your life as members of the Border Defense Corps.”

The man who’d ridden with us in the wagon glared sharply at everyone as he spoke.

I only realized later — he wasn’t our senior soldier, he was the platoon leader.

Seriously, why are words like ‘senior’ and ‘platoon leader’ even being used in a romance fantasy novel?

“Some of you might have been dragged here after your contract magic activated unexpectedly before you were prepared. But denying reality won’t change anything.”

At that, one of my fellow recruits, who had been sniffling, suddenly stopped crying.

“As you all know, desertion is impossible due to the binding magic.”

My face darkened even further.

“If there’s one bit of good news, it’s that the Border Defense Corps pays very well! The wages and pension you’ll receive for your service are amounts most people couldn’t even dream of making in a lifetime!”

So they pay well because they’re afraid we’ll all revolt together, huh?

But no matter how much money they offered, who would willingly fight monsters?
Eight years of service — are they out of their minds? They should at least shorten the service period, seriously.

“If you complete your eight years of service, you’ll receive 3,000 markne!”

At those words, everyone’s eyes widened, and mine followed suit.

Three thousand markne — it was a sum I could barely even imagine.

I heard that 1,000 markne is enough to buy a house in the capital.

Then 3,000 markne… that’s three houses in the capital? Was it really okay to pay that much?

Well, if I could own three houses in the capital after enduring eight years of military service, maybe I could grit my teeth and survive.

“You’ll also receive a monthly pension generous enough to live comfortably!”

Pension… now that’s tempting.

In my previous world, people also chased government jobs for the stability and benefits.

Besides, this is the army in a romance fantasy novel. It’s got to be different from the one I’m thinking of.

My positive thinking started to kick in. The original female lead had spent a romantic time here in this army, after all. The tough-talking senior from earlier was probably just trying to scare us a little. Probably…

The platoon leader began explaining the ranking system we’d experience.

“Now, let’s go over your eight-year service period! For the first two years, you’ll be trainees! That doesn’t mean you won’t see combat — it just means training will be your main duty.”

Two years as a trainee? What the hell.

“Then, for the next two years, you’ll serve as first-class soldiers, handling most of the duties within the unit.”

The more he explained, the more familiar this system sounded.

“After that, you’ll be promoted to senior soldiers for another two years.”

In my past life, I’d never served in the military — I was a woman who didn’t have to — but thanks to all those popular military reality shows on TV, I had at least some idea of how it worked.

Wait a minute… isn’t this basically Private, Private First Class, Corporal…?

I knew that during mandatory service, soldiers went through four ranks: private, private first class, corporal, and sergeant. This world’s military had just stretched each stage to two years — which was absurd — but the structure was eerily similar.

Damn it, this really is an army…

I couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that I was completely screwed.

But no, this is a romance fantasy army! The heroine found love here!

As I tried to comfort myself with that thought, the platoon leader began explaining the final rank.

“For the last two years, you’ll leave this base and be assigned to separate divisions, serving as command officers.”

That part didn’t sound quite like the military I knew. Command officers? That was more like a non-commissioned officer than an ordinary soldier.

What was that called again? Instructor? Or sergeant?

My dad used to get drunk and tell the same army stories over and over… never thought I’d be living one myself. Should’ve paid more attention.

“Some of you might be wondering, why do we split into different divisions later? And wouldn’t it be strange for so many soldiers to become command officers?”

The platoon leader smirked — a cold, unsettling smile.

“Not everyone here will survive until then. So there’s no risk of overstaffing. That concludes the briefing.”

A chill ran through the air.

Right… of course they’re not just handing out 3,000 markne for nothing.

There wouldn’t be too many survivors to pay, so the empire’s treasury would stay full.

That must’ve been why the original character Sarubia — the body I’d possessed — died… killed fighting monsters.

Damn it, give me my romance fantasy back.

Today marks day 2,920 until my discharge.

And honestly, this whole thing is ridiculous.

I used to read The Four Lunatics Who Obsess Over Me with total immersion.

It wasn’t even that long — about 130 chapters — and the author’s writing was clear and easy to follow, so you didn’t have to think too hard to understand.

Any foreshadowing introduced would get resolved within three chapters, so readers didn’t have to struggle to remember what happened.

Each chapter ended on a perfect cliffhanger — you had to buy the next one.

And the male leads were all easy to tell apart.

Honestly, if you’re a heavy romance-fantasy reader like me, you know how easy it is to confuse the endless stream of male leads and sub-male leads.

But this novel wasn’t like that.

Hmm… that guy was the fire-type male lead.
That one? Cool-type sub male lead #1.
Then there’s the kind dark sub male lead #2, and the cute sub male lead #3.

Classics really are the best. They imprint the characters straight into your brain.

Anyway, that’s why I binged The Four Lunatics Who Obsess Over Me in a single day.

It was supposed to be just light reading for me, but apparently it had quite a cult following — probably because of the unique military-fantasy setting.

And in that story, the army was described like this:

“Are you the new recruit?”
“Yes! Nice to meet you! I’m Dalin!”
“…Didn’t they teach you how to talk properly?”
“Oh, right! Nice to meet you, I’m Dalin!”
“What?”
“Nice to meet you! I’m supposed to say it like this, right?”
“…Pfft—hahaha! It’s been a while since we had such a funny newbie!”

The original heroine Dalin would talk casually to her seniors, making everyone laugh because she was just that cute.

“Sniff, sniff…”
“Dalin, what’s wrong?”
“I… I lost my sword…”
“…You were crying because you lost a standard-issue weapon?”
“Sniff, yes… what do I do now?”
“…Here, take mine.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll say I was the one who lost it.”
“But then you’ll…”
“…Don’t say anything.”

Whenever Dalin lost something, the male leads would, without hesitation, hand over their own.

“Um, h-how do I do this?”
“…You haven’t learned how to channel energy into your sword yet?”
“Ah, not really…”
“It’s fine. I’ll help you. Put your hand on the blade.”
“Thank you, hehe!”
“Good. Grip tight… and swing!”
“Kyah!”
“…Now, getting the hang of it?”
“Yes! But, um, the monster I failed to hit earlier — what about that?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”

Did Dalin ever actually fight a monster?
Come to think of it… no, I never saw her do anything productive.

Wait, now that I think about it, wasn’t the original heroine just a total menace? Practically a legend-level nuisance?

Anyway, regardless of Dalin’s capabilities, the army in The Four Lunatics Who Obsess Over Me was portrayed as a cheerful place — seniors and juniors joking around, talented male leads covering for her mistakes, and instead of slaying monsters, she ended up slaying hearts.

So why the hell did my version turn into a dystopian military horror story?

Those romance-fantasy heroines who squeal, “Kyaa! The male lead is obsessed with me!” should try waking up in this world. Then they’d realize that obsessive male leads are the least of their problems.

Right now, if one of those obsessive male leads kidnapped me, I’d honestly stay put. Being locked in his fancy mansion sounds better than being trapped in this godforsaken army.

Is this some kind of parallel universe? Because this doesn’t feel like the same story anymore.

That’s what I was thinking while holding a plank position for what felt like forever.

My body was trembling uncontrollably, and I felt like I was about to collapse — but when I saw one of my fellow recruits fall and start rolling on the ground as punishment, I clenched my teeth and held on.

“See? You all had such amazing potential hidden inside you — you just didn’t know it!”

Our senior looked down at us with satisfaction as we shook and trembled.

“Only violence and fear can save us all.”

For f—sake, what kind of line is that for a romance fantasy?!

I swear something is seriously wrong with this world. I must have thought that sentence at least fifty times today — and I meant every word.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

Finally, a voice of salvation. As soon as we heard it, we all collapsed flat on the ground.

“Who told you to lie down? Get up, now.”

Goddamn it…

There’s no way to survive this place without swearing.

Frowning deeply, I forced myself up — and as I did, I made eye contact with one of the recruits beside me.

Ah.

Jet-black hair that fell to just above his eyes, sharp orange eyes with slightly upturned corners — cold and cutting, yet somehow feline and refined.

He looked about my age — seventeen — not quite fully grown, but his expression carried a quiet intensity.

That must be…

Aquila.

The original male lead — the one who’d made me realize this really was the world of The Four Lunatics Who Obsess Over Me.

In the novel, he was described as stoic and endlessly patient — but right now, he looked more like he wanted to desert than anyone else here.

…Yeah, guess you’re human too, huh.

Forget obsessing over me — at this rate, the original male lead might desert before I do.