Episode 4. Nothing Was More Desperate
The air behind me suddenly felt strange, as if it was moving in the wrong direction.
I focused my ears and heard the faint sound of clothes brushing and fluttering.
A thief? An assassin? It can’t be Henderson—he left for another country…
I bit my dry lips, unsure since when they had become cracked.
If someone had truly broken in, how could I deal with this situation?
But my mind was blank.
The slip I wore was damp with sweat and clung uncomfortably to my body. My tears had already dried up.
Then, I heard footsteps.
Step. Step.
I turned my stiff neck toward the sound and saw a tall figure, face hidden under a hood.
I froze in fear. I couldn’t guess who it was.
Terrified and trembling, I thought, If he’s really an assassin, maybe it’s fine if I die here.
After all, having lost the two people I loved most, my life no longer had meaning.
The stranger stopped in front of my bed. Then, a low voice spoke:
“Are you grieving?”
The words were unexpected.
Instead of answering, I studied the figure.
Tall, broad-shouldered, with a deep voice—he must be a man.
I raised my upper body and opened my lips, though my lower lip trembled slightly with tension.
“Who are you?”
“I am a sorcerer. With my humble powers, I wish to help you.”
A sorcerer. Immediately, rumors from high society came to mind.
They say sorcerers can kill without lifting a hand—that their curses can slowly take a life.
My heart began to pound wildly.
“How can you possibly help me?”
“There is something you must know first, Lady Riley.”
His calm tone strangely soothed me, and I found myself able to answer steadily.
“Tell me.”
Without warning, he dropped a shocking truth.
“Your child was killed on the orders of Lady Helena.”
“…!”
“More precisely, the sorcerer she hired cursed the child, making him die slowly.”
“How… how do you know that?”
Though I questioned him, part of me already believed his words.
I remembered how Helena had always seen Eddie as an obstacle.
Suspicion rose, and I lashed out.
“If you know this, doesn’t it mean you were involved? Why reveal this now?”
If he had played a part in my child’s death, I would never forgive him.
“You scold the one who comes to help you. I never admitted to doing anything.”
“Lies! I can uncover who you really are. I am the Emperor’s daughter—my father will protect me.”
The man softly said my name:
“Lady Riley.”
The air instantly grew colder. Every hair on my body stood on end.
I couldn’t see his eyes beneath the hood, but I could feel his sharp gaze piercing me.
His voice pressed down on me with authority.
“If I were truly involved, why would I reveal myself at all?”
He was right. I fell silent, biting my lip.
“And the Emperor’s protection…”
“…”
“Lady Helena is only a count’s daughter. Yet she dared to harm a duke’s son—the son of a princess. Could she have done this alone?”
Again, his words made sense.
Helena was clever, calculating. She wouldn’t take such a huge risk unless someone powerful stood behind her.
Who could disregard me, a princess and duchess?
Only three people: the Crown Prince—my brother—and my parents, the Emperor and Empress.
But Mother and my brother had loved Eddie dearly.
The problem was my father.
He had never accepted Eddie, who so closely resembled Henderson.
“Take that child away from here.”
Every time I brought Eddie to the palace, Father pushed him out. His cold eyes had pierced me.
“C-could it be… that my father… was involved?”
Father and I didn’t hate each other, but neither could I say he loved me completely.
Would he have supported killing my child?
Why? Was his hatred for Henderson so deep that Eddie’s life meant nothing?
How many people had a hand in Eddie’s death? When had the plan begun?
Countless questions rushed through my mind, but no clear answers came.
“I cannot give you those answers,” the sorcerer said quietly.
“Coward.”
He had raised my doubts, only to refuse the truth.
I heard him sigh.
“Then I’ll tell you one more thing.”
From his robe, he pulled out a rolled parchment and tossed it to me.
I unrolled it. One sentence was written:
‘If a child of tainted blood joins the imperial family, the empire’s order of one hundred years will collapse.’
“So they tried to kill my child because of this?”
Because Henderson was illegitimate, and Eddie was his son?
I was too stunned to even speak.
But I knew how much my father believed in prophecies. I couldn’t dismiss it.
“This prophecy is old. And as you know, the Emperor is a firm believer,” the sorcerer said.
If the prophecy was true… then Father may indeed have been involved.
My hand clenched tightly around the parchment.
“I will help you.”
“How? Can you bring Eddie back?”
“No one can return the dead to life.”
I lowered my head.
Of course, even sorcery could not bring back the dead.
Yet I couldn’t let go of hope.
Then came words that sparked a new flame inside me:
“But I can send you back to the past.”
“…What?”
“At least, I can try.”
The past?
If I returned to before Eddie’s death, I could protect him.
I quickly raised my head.
“When can you send me back to?”
“I cannot say precisely. But I can try to bring you to the day you wish.”
The day I wished for…
I didn’t need long to decide.
I wanted to go back to the day after I conceived Eddie—after the masquerade ball, when I decided to marry Henderson.
I wanted to give birth to Eddie again.
Not any other child. It had to be him.
I wanted to atone.
Though others might be to blame, I was not free of guilt. I should have protected him more, even if he resembled Henderson.
And if I returned, curses would not matter.
“Yes. Send me back. To seven years ago, the day after the masquerade ball at the Graham Duchy.”
I gave him the exact date.
“I will do my best to bring you near that day,” he replied.
“Good.”
I felt no hesitation.
Even if I still doubted this sorcerer, I wanted to try.
If it meant I could see Eddie again, I would give up everything I had now.
I longed to see my child’s bright face once more.
To look into his eyes, to hear his voice.
There was nothing in the world I wanted more.
