Chapter 37
“Miss, what should I do?”
At the mention that he had arrived, I reflexively fixed my face and hair.
But I quickly realized it was a meaningless act.
After all, I wasn’t going to meet him.
“Please tell him I’m not feeling well and can’t come down.”
Then I curled up and pulled the blanket over my head.
“You’re not even going to greet him?”
“……”
The truth was, I did want to go down.
Part of me felt that since things never went my way anyway, I might as well just do what I wanted.
<If the scrambled puzzle isn’t properly completed within twenty tries, misfortune will erase not just the lady, but everyone around her.>
Final chance. Scrambled puzzle. Misfortune.
If it’s going to affect not just me but the people around me, I can’t live carelessly.
That was the mindset I had back when I didn’t know anything.
“Tell His Grace I’m sorry. Truly sorry.”
“Understood.”
Ecla nodded and left the room.
I shut my eyes tightly under the blanket, wondering if I could at least fall asleep again—but sleep wouldn’t come.
And now that I was hidden beneath the covers, the scary dream I had last night crept back into my mind.
“I don’t even usually dream much.”
I threw the blanket off again and sat up.
Looking out the window, I could hear the delighted laughter of children. Soon, the streets would empty as everyone gathered at Grand Duke Cygnus’s castle.
Of course, throughout the nineteen regressions I’d experienced, I’d never once truly enjoyed the festival.
Then and now, I was the only one anxiously pacing back and forth.
But for some reason, today was especially irritating.
I was angry. Unsettled.
Frustrated.
The only difference from before was—
“Ugh!”
—I missed him.
I ruffled my hair wildly and slumped into the chair.
Then I dropped my face onto the table.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. First, I have to go to the bookstore and read. I need to figure out how the story ends and what I’m supposed to do.”
Knock knock.
It seemed Ecla had brought my medicine.
“Come in.”
As the door slowly opened and footsteps approached, I answered listlessly without looking up.
“Ecla, I’ll take the medicine in a bit.”
“How about taking it now?”
At the sound of a man’s voice, my head snapped up like a spring.
It wasn’t Ecla. It was Zerelach who had entered the room.
“Your Grace…”
His eyes landed squarely on my disheveled hair.
“You really do look sick. I should summon a doctor.”
I was about to wave it off, saying it wasn’t that serious, but then I fell silent.
If a doctor really came, my act would be exposed.
“I think I’ll be fine after some rest. I just didn’t get any sleep last night.”
My head kept drooping lower.
Now that he was in front of me, I grew anxious—afraid he might notice how much I had longed to see him.
“It doesn’t feel right to start the festival without you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Maybe I should cancel it.”
This time, I knew he was joking.
I didn’t jump up like before; I just gave him a faint smile.
“I know how important and high-ranking you are, Your Grace, but I also know we can’t postpone St. Obenly Day.”
“Really?”
“The entire Ernberg Peninsula moves on this day.”
“I don’t care.”
“Oh, come on, please. Just go to the castle. I know how much effort you put into preparing for this. Everyone is waiting for you.”
Zerelach said nothing, simply looking down at me.
His gaze somehow made it hard to breathe.
So, this is how he plans to kill me this time.
“Liberata.”
“……”
“I know this isn’t the most appropriate day for such a question, but…”
I pressed my lips together silently.
I wanted to see his face, but also didn’t want to.
“There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you.”
The room was terribly quiet, with only the occasional sound of a carriage passing outside the window.
I was curious what he wanted to ask, but my mouth wouldn’t open easily.
‘What is it? What kind of question comes with that expression?’
Was he about to bring up… marriage?
Just thinking about it made my face flush.
“W-Wait a minute.”
I waved my hands wildly in front of me to stop his next words.
“?”
“Wait. If you’re going to talk about that…”
“That?”
“Yes, if it’s that, I don’t know what to say. I mean… I’m really not ready. It’s all too sudden and overwhelming.”
No, if he proposes now, I might never get another chance.
I was at a loss, fidgeting nervously, while Zerelach tilted his head with a puzzled expression.
“What is it?”
“Th-that…”
Ugh, I couldn’t even say the word “marriage,” so I covered my face with both hands.
What do I do?!
Zerelach shrugged once and finally spoke.
“I’ve been wondering whether you remember who you are.”
“Huh?”
“You once said you didn’t know who you were or why you were here.”
“……”
“I wanted to know if you’ve found the answer.”
That was… not what I expected at all.
“Well…”
I hesitated, at a loss for words. Zerelach gave a lazy smile.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”
As if I could.
I’d tried drowning myself in alcohol to forget and live carelessly—but nothing stopped or reversed anything.
Besides, that was the first day I’d truly opened up in this world. How could I possibly forget?
“No, Your Grace. I remember.”
The look in his eyes that never once strayed from me that night. How, caught in the emotional atmosphere, I had unknowingly leaned on him. The warmth I felt for the first time.
It was all as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.
“I’m sorry. But I still haven’t found the answer.”
I still don’t know who I am, why I’m here, or how I should live.
“If you ever do find it, can you promise to tell me first?”
I nodded slowly.
“Alright, then get plenty of rest today.”
Zerelach gave me a lazy smile and left the room.
I stayed frozen in the room for a long time.
Now and then, Ecla came in to check if I was feeling any better.
Even my mother came by several times with a worried face to see if I was okay.
She seemed determined to drag me to the Grand Duke’s castle the moment I had even a bit of strength.
I understood how she felt, but I couldn’t go. Not this time.
I’m sorry, Mother.
“Miss, I’ll be heading out now. Please rest well.”
“Mm. Take care.”
After that, I waited quietly for the right moment.
Waiting until the house emptied was dreadfully boring.
At last, when even the last servant had gone out to enjoy the festival and the mansion had fallen completely silent, I moved.
No sloppy disguises like last time. Sure, everyone was at the Cygnus Castle and the streets would be mostly empty—but I had to be sure.
I tiptoed into Ecla’s room.
‘Sorry, Ecla.’
I quietly opened her wardrobe and picked out a comfortable outfit. Thankfully, we had similar builds, so anything would fit reasonably well.
After changing into her clothes, something still felt lacking.
I opened one of her drawers and found a small, elastic hair tie.
I tied my hair into a single ponytail, twisted it into a bun, and wrapped it securely.
Of course, I didn’t forget to throw on a robe on top.
“Ah, just in case…”
I carefully returned to my room, opened a drawer, and took out a pen.
Then I dotted a few fake freckles right under my eyes.
“Maybe I should change my eyebrow color too.”
I ran the pen over my light brown eyebrows, darkening them convincingly.
“Should I make them a bit thicker?”
It ended up a little overdone, but still looked convincing.
“Ooh, I really do look like a different person.”
I turned around with a satisfied face.
Then I closed the door and slowly made my way downstairs.
I worried that someone might still be home—but thankfully, the house was empty.
Click.
Alright. Now, it’s time to go find out who I really am.
