Chapter: 06
Muscular arms slowly crossed. Losing touch with reality, Isu couldn’t tell whether this was a dream or real life.
That was why, even though this was actually a long-planned, can’t-miss opportunity, he found himself saying something strange first.
“You’re the one who’s defenseless, aren’t you….”
He tilted his head slightly with a faint smile, as if to ask what he meant.
“You’ve been through a lot. Flirting with every girl in California and giving each one a little gift.”
“Ah-ha.”
The moment his eyes softened, his expression became astonishingly gentle. It was an angelic face.
“Well… I don’t give the important ones. As if I’d do that.”
Isu’s gaze landed on the hand that was crossed. A keyring holding a car key was looped around his index finger.
‘Then why aren’t you going home… and here….’
A dream, right?
As Isu pressed one hand to his eyes, Frederick rose from the windowsill.
“So you shouldn’t give it either, Daniel.”
…What is he saying?
“If you completely leave the game board, I’ll probably follow you.”
Wherever it may be.
His low, murmuring voice echoed in Isu’s ears.
It was a story that made no sense. Surely this was a dream.
To be alone with Frederick Bastia for a whole day and have two conversations was impossible. Until now, it had been completely natural and ordinary for Isu never to speak to Frederick at all.
…Though it hadn’t been like that from the very beginning.
“Why do you keep staring?”
“Well… I guess you have some kind of power. Makes people keep looking at you.”
‘Ah….’
Tearing through his thoughts, Isu was seized by impulse.
He wanted to say it all.
Isu’s lips moved. Since it was a dream, couldn’t he just say it? His faint rationality tried to put on the brakes, but his heart thumped so hard he felt like it would explode at any moment.
Hey, who do you think you are, talking to me?
Frederick Bastia, I really hate you. Everyone around goes gaga over you, every girl in the world seems to fall for you… do you think I’d like you?
The more his thoughts sharpened, the clearer his mind became.
“…….”
The moment he realized it wasn’t a dream, Isu shut his mouth.
It was a huge relief that he hadn’t said anything. But Frederick laughed as he looked at Isu.
“Hahaha.”
“…What’s so funny?”
He laughed in a dry, languid way. Not exactly a loud laugh.
But that made it sound even more like mockery.
“Daniel, you think you hide your emotions well.”
“…….”
“You think that if you act cold and treat everyone the same, it’ll stay hidden? Not at all.”
Isu’s heart turned cold. In truth, he even stopped breathing for a moment.
“Exactly why do you despise me and the people around me like that?”
Ridiculously, there was no malice, no sign of reproach in his tone. Strictly speaking, his face only had a faint trace of a smile.
Isu’s frozen heart suddenly sank. Even if unseen, he could feel everything shattering inside him.
‘Calm down.’
Frederick Bastia, or rather—
‘Whites are like this.’
He knew it, had known it very well since childhood.
Even thinking that, Isu unconsciously pressed the fingers of his hidden hand under the table against his nails.
Hypocritical when he could be honest, brutally honest when courtesy demanded restraint. That was the characteristic of white people Isu had concluded when he moved to America in fifth grade.
A fact he knew too well. So there was no reason to be hurt by his smile.
“…It’s just your overthinking. I don’t think about you at all.”
Isu barely managed to speak in an unshaking voice.
“Really?”
The calm smile proved he didn’t actually believe Isu—it was just that he had taken a step back.
Isu bit his lip. What should he say….
“No, actually… I’m starting to think a little. I’m getting a little interested.”
“Hm.”
Frederick leaned forward, arms crossed. Isu stared straight into Frederick’s gray eyes.
“Not you, Chris.”
“Ah, Chris?”
“Yeah, Chris.”
Chris Fassbinder. The basketball team captain, and the only Center Table Boy who hadn’t spoken to Isu that day.
In Isu’s eyes, he was the most serious among the Center Table Boys. The only time they’d really talked was during a middle school team project.
“You already have a lot on your plate. I’ll take it from here.”
“Your bag’s heavy, huh? Want me to carry it?”
At that time, even the smallest gesture of kindness felt so precious.
‘Probably didn’t mean much….’
As if he knew what Isu was thinking, Frederick immediately interrupted.
“Why?”
“…Why what?”
The conversation kept drifting in unpredictable directions. Isu wanted to stop talking about this. It was all lies anyway. Chris Fassbinder? Not interested.
“I was curious why it’s Chris Fassbinder, not me.”
What is this stubbornness?
Briefly at a loss for words, then, perhaps because of disbelief, the answer came out easily.
“I like a guy who only looks at me. Not a guy who flits from girl to girl, sport to sport. Ah, but I’m not talking about you now, Frederick.”
“Mm. I’m not that kind of playboy.”
…I’m talking about you.
“Again?”
Certainly, Frederick Bastia had a talent for getting under Isu’s skin. Rarely, Isu’s words grew longer.
“I don’t think I get along with people who live recklessly, doing whatever they want. Chris Fassbinder is serious about basketball and his attitude is genuine. I thought that was cool.”
Even Isu was surprised at how easily the words came out. Thoughts he’d had long ago suddenly felt like long-nurtured truths.
“Ah. So it’s not about looks.”
Unlike what he expected, Frederick’s reaction was calm, which made Isu go a step further.
“…Looks too. Chris Fassbinder is my type. I… like blue eyes.”
In high school, blue eyes are a privilege. Like owning a private beach of sparkling blue.
Isu wanted to bite his tongue but couldn’t take back what he had said.
Liking blue eyes… truly the worst. It was something only gullible idiots would say… and he had.
“Hm, really? That’s a bitter thing to hear.”
Frederick leaned forward, bringing his face right in front of Isu. Their eyes were barely a span apart. Isu’s hazel eyes wavered in surprise.
“What are you doing?”
“Just looking properly once to evaluate.”
“I’m not interested in your eyes!”
Isu wanted to look away but couldn’t. It was as if he was held in place by Frederick’s gaze.
Frederick Bastia’s gray eyes were like glass. So clean and pale that his pupils stood out.
When he stared, the other person was caught. That was the magic of his gray eyes.
“Not interested? I am.”
“…You’re… really close right now.”
As Isu’s face contorted like cracking porcelain, Frederick finally leaned back.
“I didn’t know you were the type to waver when pushed, Daniel.”
“What?”
“You and them? Doesn’t work. That’s not okay.”
Crossing his arms, he tapped Isu’s arm with a finger.
“I’m not interested in your situation. This, that, all of it.”
“Should I say it in a way you can understand?”
“They don’t care how hard you struggle or what you go through at school anyway.”
Heat rose on Isu’s face. He felt as if his whole body was trembling with shame.
At this moment, he remembered another law of high school life:
Just because I don’t look at someone doesn’t mean they don’t see me.
Especially humiliation and being mistreated doesn’t vanish just because you try to hide it. Everyone at school must already know.
“I’m not interested in watching you get treated badly as a scholarship student, or seeing you get pity or that pathetic kind of attention from other boys.”
Isu stood up sharply. His body felt cold and rigid, even his teeth seemed to chatter.
“I never asked for pity, and I’m not your TV show.”
“Oh, did I make you mad again?”
He had just stated a fact.
As Isu heard his quiet mutter and shoved his belongings into his bag roughly, it happened.
“How can we go back to the way we were in Lower School?”
Isu’s hands froze mid-pack.
“I want to go back, can’t you tell me how?”
The water once spilled cannot be undone, Frederick Bastia.
No matter how rich you are, how impressive your parents are, how everyone flocks to you, words once spoken cannot be taken back.
Completely swept away by Frederick, Isu forgot even what he originally wanted to say and answered impulsively.
“No way. There’s no way, and I don’t want to. It’s been so long I don’t even remember.”
He slung the bag over one shoulder.
“You spoke your mind, so I’ll say this one thing as I please.”
Hesitation was brief. He lifted his head and met Frederick’s eyes.
“Not every girl will naturally like you, or tolerate all your words and actions. I’m certainly not one of them. Every time I talk to you—”
“Why won’t you accept it?”
Without exception, every time.
“Disgusting mood.”
Isu didn’t wait for a response and strode toward the door. His hand, frozen in place a moment ago, touched the windowsill he’d been sitting on.
A little later, turning his head, he saw his own figure crossing the quad, pressing a hand to his eyes.
And on the opposite side, familiar faces were walking toward him.
Frederick’s gaze instantly darkened at the sight of the expected scene.
Veins bulged on the hand holding the car key and keyring.
