<Chapter 79> What Do You Think of Me?
2024.01.18.
“Ahem. Welcome to Abrams, Marquis Atillay.”
But all the scoldings he had rehearsed so carefully vanished the moment he saw Cordelia’s face.
To be more precise, there was no room left in his mind to think of anything else.
“…Marquis Atillay?”
A crooked smile spread across Leod’s lips.
Cordelia glanced around. It was obvious that everyone was hanging onto their every word. She pointed upstairs and said,
“Let’s go upstairs first.”
“No. First, I want to know why you’re calling me with that ridiculous title. Since when have I been ‘Marquis Atillay’ to you?”
“I’ll explain when we’re upstairs.”
Cordelia looked at Leonard desperately, as if begging him to just go up with her. But that only made him freeze in place even more.
She wasn’t even calling him ‘Master’ anymore.
Leonard’s face hardened. He had feared it, but now it seemed Cordelia truly intended to cut ties with him. He had buried that fear deep down, convinced it wouldn’t happen — but now it was slowly crawling out of its grave.
“You seriously…”
“Goodness, the butler was telling the truth!”
Baron Lancaster came hurrying over, seemingly having heard of Leonard’s arrival. His eyes sparkled as he gave a dramatic bow.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Marquis Atillay. I’m Baron Dean Lancaster. Unfortunately, Count Abrams passed away recently, so I am acting on his behalf to welcome you—”
“I have something to discuss with my student, so could you please give us some space?”
“P-Pardon? I heard rumors that the marquis had accepted a disciple, but… is that person here in our castle?”
It was clear that Baron Lancaster had no idea that Cordelia was his disciple — meaning she hadn’t told anyone.
Realizing this made anger and betrayal swell in Leonard’s chest.
“Hah. So you’ve been hiding it completely. Why? Were you planning to run away the moment the funeral ended?”
“Run away? What are you talking about?”
“If not, then why are you calling me that stupid title and why doesn’t this man even know you’re my disciple?”
“That’s just…”
Cordelia mumbled, head bowed halfway. She looked extremely suspicious.
Baron Lancaster, who had been listening in, suddenly widened his eyes in shock. It was clear he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He looked between Cordelia and Leonard several times.
“Wait, so the Countess — I mean, the lady you took as your disciple — is her?”
“She’s not the Countess anymore. She’s Vasquez now.”
“Good heavens, good heavens!”
Baron Lancaster, usually composed and sly like a fox, completely lost his calm upon learning Cordelia was Leonard Atillay’s disciple.
“You didn’t even tell the people of the castle? What on earth is going on?”
“What do you mean ‘going on’? It’s not like that. Alright, fine. Let’s go upstairs and talk.”
“Upstairs? No, get ready to leave. We’re departing right away.”
Seeing that she had hidden even being his disciple made him more desperate.
Leonard couldn’t hold back anymore. He quickly grabbed Cordelia’s wrist. He had to take her with him — put her in cuffs or shackles if he had to.
“Ugh.”
He hadn’t even grabbed her that hard, but she let out a soft cry the moment he touched her. Startled, Leonard let go and looked more closely. A dark bruise had formed on her wrist.
The sight of it made his blood boil. Every time he took his eyes off her, she ended up with bruises or injuries. Why couldn’t she take proper care of herself?
“Who the hell did this? Who dared? Where’s Belluche? What the hell is she doing while your wrist ends up like this?”
Fear and anger wear similar faces — it only takes a small spark to ignite either one.
“Belluche isn’t my nanny. She can’t follow me around everywhere. Don’t worry. It’s just a small bruise.”
“That’s exactly why I sent her with you.”
“You sent her?”
“Then how else do you think she knew you were leaving in the middle of the night and followed you?”
Come to think of it, she had found it odd too. Yebo Delim wasn’t some tiny rural village — what were the chances of bumping into someone randomly at dawn?
Realizing this softened Cordelia’s heart. Even if he shouted and scolded her, the only person who truly looked after her was Leonard.
“Master.”
“Don’t think you can brush this off. I…”
Leonard cut himself off mid-sentence. Cordelia had reached out and gently grabbed his hand.
“Let’s go upstairs. Please?”
“….”
Why did her touch feel so warm? Maybe because it was the first time she had ever reached out to him.
Even though her touch was so faint, Leonard couldn’t bring himself to resist. As if under a binding spell, he let her lead him to the parlor upstairs.
Finally, they were alone.
Cordelia took a deep breath and spoke first.
“Master, I didn’t hide being your student with any particular intent. It’s just… after our fight, I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know if I had the right to call myself your student anymore.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Why wouldn’t you? Being my student is something you could proudly tell your descendants.”
“Because I’m ashamed.”
“What? Are you saying you’re ashamed of being my student?”
“No, no! Not that… I’m ashamed of myself.”
Cordelia swallowed hard and brought out the thoughts that had haunted her for so long.
“You said you would’ve accepted me as your student even if I weren’t talented or smart… but I was always anxious. What if my miserable past became known? What if my leech-like family showed up and used me to blackmail you somehow? I thought you’d be disgusted with me.”
“….”
“And then it really happened, and I was terrified. My father even took money from you… After that, I thought it was only natural for you to want nothing to do with me.”
The day after their fight, she had left at dawn without telling anyone because she was afraid. Afraid Leonard would tell her to leave. Afraid he’d say he didn’t need a disciple like her.
She had yelled at him for not telling her things in advance, but deep down, her biggest fear was being abandoned.
Hearing her honest confession helped Leonard calm down a bit.
“Then why didn’t you come back? The funeral ended, and yet you lingered. You didn’t even try to return to Yebo Delim.”
“I… I was going to, if I got a reply.”
Cordelia blushed and lowered her gaze. Even to her, the excuse sounded cowardly.
“A reply? You have to send a letter to get one.”
“What? But I did send one! I gave it to Baron and wrote specifically for him to pass it to you.”
“…You gave it to Baron?”
That slippery old man was probably laughing behind the scenes. He had clearly received the letter but still stirred things up, saying she’d run away, telling him to go to Abrams — just thinking about it made Leonard furious.
“Wait… so you never got it? Maybe it got lost. I thought you were so mad at me that you didn’t even want to reply.”
“I was mad. That’s why I rushed over.”
“Oh… Are you still mad?”
“I thought you were stalling, trying to avoid coming back. I thought you were going to run.”
“Geez, run away? Where would I even go? It’s not like I have anywhere.”
“That’s why I abandoned all my work like a lunatic and pushed my horse, barely sleeping for four days. I was afraid you’d disappear somewhere in the meantime.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I have to run errands for you until the day I die, remember?”
Cordelia said with a soft laugh.
Leonard couldn’t take his eyes off her green eyes. Her soft chestnut hair, the way her nose twitched slightly when she laughed, how she pouted when upset, how she cried silently when sad…
All of it was etched in his mind. Even when he closed his eyes, it all came back vividly.
Why had he come all this way? Just because she was a few days late? So what if she ran away? There were plenty of people who wanted to be his student. If Cordelia left, he could just find another one.
So why was the thought of losing her so terrifying?
Leonard clenched his fists. The feeling he had denied for so long forced its way into his heart.
He couldn’t deny it anymore.
When she wasn’t around, he felt anxious. When she was far, he missed her every day.
Leonard finally found the name of this emotion.
“Cordelia.”
“Yes?”
“Listen carefully. I will never abandon you. No matter who you are, no matter what happened in your past, no matter who your father is, even if you lost your arms and legs — none of that matters to me.”
“…Master.”
Cordelia looked up at him, eyes brimming with emotion. Leonard opened his mouth, ready to say the name of that feeling he had just discovered.
“Because I… lo—”
“Lo…?”
“Lo—damn it.”
“Looove?”
He couldn’t get the next word out, as if it were stuck in his throat. He had never said such things — never even thought about it — so it made him feel unbearably awkward.
Cordelia blinked rapidly. Why was he stopping mid-sentence?
“This is crazy. I’ve officially gone insane.”
“What? What is it? Why are you stopping?!”
Cordelia urged him, confused. Leonard sighed and looked at her with conflicted eyes. Does she even feel a fraction of what I do?
“Cordelia. Be honest with me.”
“Yes?”
“What do you, ahem, what do you think of me?”
“What do I think? Of course, you’re the most respectable teacher in the world.”
“No, not that cliché. I mean from deep in your heart. What do you really think of me?”
“Master! Don’t you already know? I really, truly respect you.”
“Is that all? Isn’t there… anything else?”
