Chapter 125: My First and Last
March 4, 2024
Even though the master of Embry had collapsed and was teetering on the edge of death, life went on unchanged. The atmosphere was slightly tense, but the soldiers had been hauling stones from early morning to repair the damaged castle, and the cook had killed a young pig to prepare a meal with meticulous care.
Leonard sat at the head of the table, yet no food caught his eye. He would lift his spoon only to wave it meaninglessly through the air. Cordelia, eating warm pumpkin soup, spoke softly.
“Please eat something. You haven’t had anything since yesterday.”
“Cordelia.”
“Yes?”
He only called her name, then fell silent again. In truth, he didn’t know what to say.
Leonard let out a long, painful sigh before finally taking the food she offered. But no matter what he put in his mouth, it felt as dry and gritty as chewing sand. He forced food into his stomach without tasting its flavor or aroma.
The meal ended in silence. Leonard eventually put down his spoon, having eaten barely half of his usual portion. Cordelia, on the other hand, left her plate spotless, finishing everything.
“Ah… that was delicious. The Attirey Townhouse is nice, but the chefs at Embry are truly excellent as well.”
After dabbing her mouth with a napkin, Cordelia stood up.
“Have you finished eating?”
“Yes.”
“Then shall we take a walk? Though the flowers have withered, the garden is still beautiful.”
Cordelia had only been at Embry Castle for a few days, yet she guided Leonard through the grounds as if she were its owner.
The summer night air was damp and cold. Leonard found it unbearably unpleasant—the sticky clothes clinging to him, Cordelia laughing without a care, and himself, powerless to do anything.
After Anton collapsed from Maximilian’s attack, every effort to save him had barely kept him alive. Even the experienced doctors of Embry Castle shook their heads after examining Anton’s condition.
Leonard had not given up. He rummaged through his office, clinging to the hope that somewhere, a cure from Tarsia might be hidden.
“…It’s not bad.”
“What?”
Lost in thought while walking, Leonard only realized belatedly that Cordelia had spoken.
“My life. It’s not bad, I’d say.”
“Not bad? It’s more than that. It’s wonderful.”
“Heh. Well, I was a student of Attirey after all.”
“Was?” Why the past tense?
Leonard wanted to grasp at her words but held back. Cordelia stopped in front of a charmingly decorated patio, sitting first and patting the adjacent spot.
Leonard, feigning nonchalance, sat beside her. A faint rose scent lingered in her hair. Leonard inhaled it deeply.
“Master.”
“Yes?”
“The weather is nice.”
It was an ordinary remark, yet it made his chest tighten inexplicably. Leonard unconsciously clutched his left chest, feeling a pain as if someone were squeezing his heart. Cordelia spoke calmly.
“When I die, bury me in Willas.”
“……”
“I don’t want to go back to Vasquez. That cold, dark place… and even less so Abrams. Ebo Delim was fine, but I like Willas, where the martial guild was, the best.”
She recalled her first voyage to Willas. Though months had passed, it felt vivid as if it were only yesterday—the endless horizon, the briny tang in her nose, the dark, unfathomable ocean etched into her memory.
“I’d like a place with a good view of the sea.”
Cordelia looked off into the distance, then turned her head, slightly startled upon seeing Leonard’s face.
“Master…”
Leonard’s eyes were wet. Cordelia hadn’t expected him to cry and was momentarily flustered. Unsure of what to do, she reached out and gently touched his cheek.
Leonard covered her hand with his own. The contact was so warm it almost burned.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing, Master?”
“If I hadn’t brought you from Abrams… if I hadn’t accepted you as my student, Maximilian would never have targeted you. And…”
Every action from his past, too numerous to list, now turned to regret.
Pressing his forehead to hers, Leonard muttered.
Would it have been different if he hadn’t called her his only student? If he hadn’t shown how much he cared? If he had set aside his pride and killed Maximilian from the start?
Though he knew it was meaningless to dwell on “what ifs,” the regret overflowed, beating against his chest.
Seeing his vulnerability for the first time, Cordelia lowered her hand from his cheek and twitched her nose.
“Don’t say such terrible things. Living beside you until the end is far happier than spending a lifetime in that hellish Abrams.”
Upon hearing that, Leonard’s voice suddenly rose.
“Who’s dying? You will survive, no matter what. Don’t you realize how powerful I am? I’m the strongest magician in Ersche, the youngest Seirius at eighteen. Attirey’s head magician—I can’t save just you?”
“Indeed. Our master is amazing.”
His violet eyes were still wet, so his outburst was not frightening. Cordelia simply smiled.
“I’ve searched every corner of Embry’s lord’s room. Since he knew I was coming, and because he knew it’s been nearly ten days since you were poisoned, he must have prepared the antidote.”
And then? Even if this time goes well, what about the next?
Cordelia swallowed her words. Unless Anton miraculously woke, her life still had an expiration date.
She couldn’t forget the satisfied smile Maximilian had worn when he struck Anton. At first, reality felt unreal. She had imagined the end before, but not like this.
A surge of resentment toward the world came, followed by a tidal wave of sorrow, ending in resignation.
“It’ll be okay.”
“……”
“Everything. No matter what happens, I’ll stay by your side until the very end.”
Leonard reached out with both arms, hugging Cordelia tightly. Though they had embraced before, this felt different. One hand gripped her back, the other the back of her head, so firmly that breathing was difficult. The intensity of his heart could be felt. Cordelia silently rested her head on his shoulder.
“I’ll save Embry’s lord, find the antidote, and completely reverse that damn Tarsia.”
It sounded less like words to her and more like a vow to himself.
Even if it were a lie, it didn’t matter. Cordelia didn’t ask if it was true; she simply wrapped her hands around his back.
“So don’t worry about a thing. I’ll protect you.”
He murmured incessantly. The desperation and affection radiating from his fingertips reassured Cordelia.
At some point, Leonard’s embrace had become familiar. When she looked into his violet eyes, her heart fluttered like a freshly caught fish, and sometimes it trembled as if she were alone at a graveyard at midnight.
Finding the name for these strange, unfamiliar emotions wasn’t hard; admitting them was. Her pride told her that, given how little she had, if she gave her heart entirely, she would be left vulnerable.
“I… actually, Master…”
Cordelia mustered courage to confess, but then paused. What would change by telling him now?
If they were to part anyway, perhaps it was better not to go deeper. It would be better to quietly vanish as one stubborn student rather than leave another burden on Leonard.
“Just… thank you for everything.”
Leonard offered to accompany her to her room, but Cordelia declined. She wanted to walk alone. As the sun set, the servants lit torches along the walls.
Cordelia stood in the corridor, gazing at the sunset. The day had passed too quickly; she hadn’t even properly said goodbye to everyone.
As if sensing her thoughts, Belluche suddenly appeared. Cordelia approached and greeted him cheerfully.
“Belluche! Where have you been all day? I almost didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”
“What goodbye?”
“I’ll finally be able to reclaim this bracelet, Ebrad’s treasure.”
“……”
“I only used it once. That’s a relief, right?”
“……”
“You must come to my funeral.”
“I won’t.”
“How cruel. We spent so much time together, though.”
Belluche, who had been expressionless the entire time, finally spoke.
“The master will definitely find a way.”
“Give my regards to Baron too… hmm, my thanks.”
Since her ability to send greetings was limited, she changed her words mid-sentence. Belluche glared at her with piercing eyes.
“You’re not doubting the master, are you?”
“And, and who else… Ah, the Attirey townhouse butler and Layla…”
“When someone speaks, you answer.”
“You’re not listening either, Belluche.”
Cordelia laughed as he bit his lip again.
“Do you not trust the master?”
“I do. More than anyone in the world.”
“……”
“Belluche. Thank you for everything. I forgive you for being harsh at first. So… goodbye.”
Cordelia elegantly bent her knees and bowed, giving her farewell.
A voice called urgently from behind, but she didn’t look back. She had acted strong in front of Leonard and Belluche, and continuing the conversation would have broken her composure.
“Sob.”
She collapsed onto her bed, covering herself with the blanket, and wept. Everything she had kept under control today fell apart.
Why must it be me? Why now? She had barely escaped that hellish Abrams a year ago.
She had restrained herself, afraid Leonard would break if he saw her, but she could no longer hold it in.
After Anton collapsed, she had visited his room countless times. She had wished for his recovery, yet also harbored a cruel desire for him to die in agony.
Sometimes, she wanted to stomp on Maximilian’s remains, now nothing but a shell, and throw them into the river. Yet it was absurd and unfair that someone who had barely lived twenty years should face death now.
