~Chapter 20~
The gentle breeze coolly brushed my forehead.
Unlike Livia’s smooth silver hair, my short, wavy black hair swayed lightly at my nape.
Seeing the same scenery with a different appearance still felt unfamiliar and awkward.
Even knowing this body was mine, even if that time was an exception, it wasn’t easy to get used to.
“Come to think of it… it was around here.”
The scenery brought back old memories.
‘You finished all the books you bought already? Didn’t you buy quite a few?’
‘Books are treasures more valuable than anything. Knowledge never harms you.’
‘I should learn from you, but… I can’t bring myself to love books.’
‘That’s fortunate. If you loved books too, nothing would be left for me to have.’
‘Oh my, are you jealous? How cute.’
‘If you see it as cute, then I’m glad.’
As befitting his reputation as a genius swordsman and scholar, Khalid loved books deeply.
He was the youngest ever to graduate from the Academy with honors, and he never slacked in his studies.
Though I wasn’t scholarly enough to join his reading hobby, I loved watching him read — his focused gaze and unwavering posture made time fly by unnoticed.
Perhaps that’s why my feet carried me to the bookstore before I realized it.
I wanted to see even the remnants of those memories.
Because I missed him. Because even in this world I struggled to return to, he was someone I couldn’t easily reach.
“Welcome~”
The quiet greeting of the shop owner behind the counter echoed with a soft bell chime.
The bookstore was much older than I remembered. Only five years had passed, but the shelves showed clear signs of wear.
Still, some things remained unchanged — the familiar smell of books, and piles stacked on tables due to lack of shelf space.
“Ah.”
In a hidden corner of the shelf, I saw a book.
It was a children’s picture book Khalid had jokingly recommended when I struggled with reading.
The feeling of receiving that colorful children’s book came back, bringing an involuntary smile to my lips.
“So it was here too…”
Among the quiet old books, it stood out brightly.
Why was a children’s book here? Did a staff misplace it?
I stroked the cover and turned around the corner with the book in hand — only to collide straight into someone entering the store.
“Ah!”
The picture book fell from my hands to the floor. Afraid it might be damaged, I hurried to pick it up.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see…”
Then I saw the worn boots at eye level.
As I raised my head while clutching the book—
“…Ah.”
The book slipped powerlessly from my fingers and fell again.
My heart pounded violently, recognizing its owner before my mind did.
“…You don’t need to apologize. I wasn’t looking either.”
He looked more mature, thinner than I remembered.
Dark shadows under his eyes marked how different he was.
Yet his appearance was so familiar that I felt foolish for not recognizing him instantly.
Because not for a single moment had I forgotten him.
Because I loved him too deeply to ever forget.
“Are you hurt?”
It was Khalid.
His voice was blunt, indifferent.
He was always cold to everyone but me, and now I was just a stranger to him, so kindness was out of the question.
When I stared at him in shock, he frowned slightly. Flustered, I quickly lowered my head.
“Ah… no, I wasn’t looking ahead. I’m sorry.”
As I stuttered an apology, he merely nodded and walked past as if it was nothing.
My hand twitched unconsciously. I almost reached out to him but grabbed it with my other hand to stop myself.
Tears threatened to burst. I wanted to run to him, call his name.
My aching heart proved just how much I had missed him, making it even harder to bear.
Fearing I couldn’t control my emotions, I paid for the picture book and left the store hurriedly.
An unplanned meeting brought sorrow rather than joy.
His gaze was so cold.
There may never be a day he calls me warmly again.
It felt as if the sky was collapsing.
I already knew. I was no longer the ‘Livia Arfin’ he loved. Even if we met, I could never be that woman again.
Knowing didn’t mean it hurt any less.
I missed him. I longed for him so much I would have died to see him again.
I had abandoned my original world to cross dimensions for him.
Perhaps that’s why it hurt so badly.
“Sister! Where were you? I bought cookies, but you were gone… Sister, are you okay?”
Serel had returned without me noticing, bouncing towards me.
I should tell her I was fine, that it was nothing, but my heart kept trembling.
“Sister, are you sick? You look so pale…”
“No, I’m fine. Just… suddenly felt a bit off. I’m okay.”
Feeling her small warm hand gripping mine, I climbed into the carriage.
My heart swayed painfully, but I didn’t have the courage to look back at the bookstore.
‘So… you still come here.’
I never thought he’d visit the bookstore holding our memories after what happened.
I had hoped, just maybe, to see him again, but I knew it was foolish.
Yet like a lie, I saw him there.
The unexpected encounter shocked me, but once my heart calmed, I felt grateful just to have seen his face.
“Are you sure you’re okay? If you collapse, Papa will scold me.”
“Thank you, Serel. I’m really okay. Even if something happens, I’ll explain it to him.”
“So you are sick?! If you’re even a little unwell, we’re going home!”
“Did I worry you that much… sorry. I’m really okay. We came all this way, don’t you want to pick out your pretty dress?”
“…Fine. But promise you’ll tell me if you feel bad, okay? Pinky promise!”
“Yes, promise.”
After locking pinkies with Serel, the carriage started moving again.
I glanced out the window, eyes naturally turning back towards the bookstore.
Khalid wouldn’t come out so soon, but…
Even knowing it might look suspicious if our eyes met, I still wanted to see him again now that my heart had calmed.
Such a foolish feeling.
It was only natural he didn’t recognize me. Yet I felt hurt and broken… and at the same time, happy to see his face.
I was used to these contradictory emotions now, but his cold eyes and indifferent words still felt unfamiliar.
‘But… I’ll have to get used to it.’
I couldn’t waste time being hurt by every word or glance.
Though he seemed a little thinner and his eyes darker, Khalid looked okay overall.
At least he wasn’t wasting away locked in the palace, as rumors said.
Maybe it was a good thing I saw him here.
If our first meeting had been at the ball, I wouldn’t have been able to act composed at all.
Seeing him now felt like a vaccine — painful, but strengthening.
Perhaps that’s why… the upcoming ball, my first step to reveal myself in this world, felt frightening… yet I looked forward to it.
A little hope, and a bit of fear.
‘It’s okay. I just have to follow the plan.’
Though I was only on my way to choose a dress, the ball felt as if it was approaching faster than I could prepare.
Clang—
The familiar sound rang through the bedroom.
A maid waiting outside entered quietly, as if used to this, and cleaned up the shattered glass.
Her movements were quick and practiced, as if she knew that if she were even slightly slow, the glass might have flown at her head instead of the floor.
Edmund looked at his master, who had just thrown the wine glass.
She was a woman with a beauty so divine it seemed a blessing from the gods.
Her tall, slender figure; silver hair cascading down to her waist; sharp, foxlike eyes; and long curled lashes that remained elegant without any touch.
And her flawless body, without a single flaw, drew the eye irresistibly.
She was so breathtaking that her mere presence overwhelmed those who saw her.
Her name was — Livia Arfin.
Though that was her name, few dared to say it aloud.
In the Empire, she was known as the “Bearer of Divine Power.” The God’s Representative, the Saintess… she had many titles.
“Persistent. I thought he’d quieted down for a while, but here he goes again.”
Even vulgar words from her lips sounded like sacred scripture.
Edmund quietly handed her a new wine glass as he replied.
“Hasn’t the Crown Prince always been like this? It’s just a worm writhing before death.”
