~Chapter 18~
‘Erdia… what does this mean?’
‘It’s a nickname for Livia Arfin. Erdia! Isn’t it easy to say?’
‘No one makes nicknames by combining first and last names like that.’
‘Oh come on. Khalid, as long as you know, that’s enough.’
‘I prefer calling you by your real name.’
‘Still… I’d like to have a name that only you know, just for me.’
‘It’s just a nickname.’
‘Exactly. A moment where I want to be called not Livia Arfin, but by a name of my own… you understand, right?’
‘Fine then. Erdia. Will this do?’
‘I… I love it! Khalid, call me like this sometimes, okay?’
I thought I would never remember again… yet a single line with that name brought back soft, budding memories.
As those misty memories filled his mind, Khalid let out an irritated sigh and pressed his temples, closing his eyes.
After the disgrace of being rejected, Khalid had spent three full years writhing in pain.
His body wasn’t hurt, but his heart and mind were — which made it all the worse.
Their relationship after her change felt as if everything had rewound to before they ever loved each other.
Their once happy memories faded like dreams, and insomnia haunted him every night.
That insomnia still hadn’t ended.
It felt like he was suffering from an incurable disease.
Now, seeing her only brought disgust instead of tenderness.
Yet if he let his guard down even a little, memories of her crept into his mind.
Mostly when he was exhausted and about to fall asleep.
When he closed his eyes, he saw her whispering words of love… only to feel nausea at the gap between the past and present Livia, triggering a crushing headache.
It had been a long time since memories surfaced even while awake.
“…Of all things.”
Why did Marquis Valandier’s adopted daughter have that name?
He clicked his tongue in annoyance, pressing his eyelids hard.
By day, he took short naps. By night, he buried himself in work in his study.
While he fought to keep himself sane, Livia Arfin erased her five years of repentance and returned to her cruel sins.
Even though he could still vividly see her weeping, sincerely apologizing… she had rewritten her erased sins as if they never mattered.
“…Ha.”
Once surfaced, memories never faded easily.
Especially hers — they lingered stubbornly.
Khalid exhaled roughly and stood up.
He retrieved a bottle from a glass cabinet tucked among the bookshelves.
Pouring the harsh amber liquor into a glass, he downed it in one go.
The bitter scent made him frown, but that was it.
He was too used to it now; the burn no longer shocked his senses.
Feeling the liquid scorch down to his stomach, he ran a hand through his neatly arranged hair, ruffling it messily.
He wasn’t wearing tight clothes, yet every breath felt suffocating.
Filling his glass again, he walked heavily back to his desk, piled high with documents.
Even strong drink didn’t shorten his sleepless nights, nor did vomiting out memories make them end sooner.
Having repeated it thousands of times, he could now at least appear calm on the outside.
Crrk—
He crumpled the report in his hand, taking a deep breath that lifted his chest, then sat down silently.
‘It’s nothing.’
Just remnants of a time he once foolishly believed was happiness.
Repeating it to himself again and again, he tossed the crumpled paper into the trash.
Among the piles of documents, a half-empty bottle sat quietly on his desk.
Marquis Valandier spared no effort in supporting me.
He gave me a luxurious room that I still hadn’t gotten used to, and showered me with expensive accessories and items.
Moreover, his only daughter Serel, initially wary of a sudden “older sister,” soon warmed up to me after a few meetings, calling me “Sister, Sister” affectionately — much to the Marquis’s delight.
Serel was the only person who might have opposed my presence.
But instead of feeling threatened, she welcomed me completely, leaving me relieved and a little dazed.
“So I told them! That I have a sister now!”
The last time I saw her, she was only up to my waist. Now, she was nearly my height.
Partly because I was shorter than Livia Arfin, but mostly because Serel had grown so much over five years.
She had grown tall and elegant, just as the Marquis said, resembling his late wife.
‘All she ate must have gone straight to her height.’
Though only twelve, she was almost as tall as me, an adult woman.
It made me jealous — though slightly relieved knowing she was unusually tall for her age.
“Does that girl have a sister too?”
“Yeah! She always bullies me and says she’ll tell her sister if I try to fight back… so annoying!”
Anger flared in her wide, innocent eyes as she recounted it.
Despite her mature height, her childish innocence remained in her words and gestures, making her adorable.
“But now I have a sister too! If I get bullied, I can tell you, right?”
Blush spread across her cheeks as she peeked at me shyly, fidgeting with her hands.
“Of course. If anyone bullies our Serel, I’ll scold them for you. Who would dare hurt such a pretty little sister?”
“Oh, stop… you’re the pretty one, Sister.”
She squirmed, embarrassed by her own compliment.
She was completely different from the shy, quiet girl I once knew five years ago.
When I was Livia, I showered the deeply hurt Serel with affection.
Over time, she began to open up, even giving me a shy smile and flowers to congratulate me before the wedding.
But after “I” ignored her coldly at the ball, she didn’t leave her room for nearly a year.
Though I wasn’t the one who hurt her, hearing that story filled me with guilt.
Thankfully, she had grown into a bright, cheerful girl now, even attending the academy at last.
Sensing my fond gaze, Serel tilted her head and beamed.
“Sister, then… will you come with me to the Imperial Ball this time?”
“There’s a ball?”
“Yeah! It’s held twice a year for academy students. Dad says it’s just nobles trying to gain favors, though…”
The Imperial Ball for academy students.
The Epernia Academy only taught up to age fourteen.
Graduation was automatic by age, but there was also an elite “Seal Diploma” for top achievers — an incredibly difficult honor that became a lifelong symbol of excellence.
This ball invited only those top students.
It was a place for nobles and commoners alike to mingle, and for families to seek future connections.
Though called a children’s ball, its significance was immense.
“That girl said she’s bringing her sister too. Now I have a sister, so I want to go with you!”
“Is it okay for me to go?”
“Of course! Dad said he’d love it if you wanted to come!”
If the Marquis agreed so readily, I had no reason to refuse.
It was a rare chance to enter the Imperial Palace without worrying about status.
Even if the ball’s stars were children, the place itself was meaningful enough.
‘I might… be able to see him.’
