~Chapter 4~
It took half a year until I was discharged.
I had been unconscious for a year, and the treatment had already ended. The following six months were spent rehabilitating to walk again.
“The doctor said you’ll be fine for daily life as long as you don’t overdo it. But if you push too hard, the pain can return anytime, so be cautious.”
The doctor said it would be alright as long as I didn’t overstrain.
Walking was no problem. Not being able to run was disappointing, but I was grateful just not to limp.
After finishing my final examination, I completed the discharge procedures.
The blazing sun beat down on my head as I left the hospital.
Ironically, it was early spring when I had married in that other world, and spring when I opened my eyes here.
While I was focused on rehabilitation, the seasons passed quickly, and now it was the end of summer.
Rehabilitation was never easy. The fact I had returned to my original body was itself a huge shock every day.
But I refused to spend my life in despair, forcing myself to move and focusing on recovery.
Each day felt like hell.
More tormenting than a body that refused to move was the despair that came every night in the form of dreams, reminding me of all I left behind in that world.
Even so, I refused to give in. I refused to give up.
My reason for holding on was simple: to return to that other world, no matter the cost.
After a year, I came back to an empty house.
Thankfully, the lease hadn’t expired, and the place was just as I left it.
The house was thick with dust. The reality I had forgotten crashed down upon me like a wave.
A dark, quiet room where no one would ever welcome me home.
Poverty had always gnawed away at my hopes and dreams.
It was a shadow that had weighed down my life for as long as I can remember.
People tell themselves that struggling through life is worth it, but that’s a lie.
We only cling to that belief because we have no other choice.
My life had been one long, lonely struggle. No friends, no family.
That was why, when I was hit by the truck, I felt a strange sense of relief.
At least in death, no one would miss me.
Then I opened my eyes, and I was in Rivie Arfin’s body.
To be honest… I was a little happy.
Her relationships weren’t ideal, but she had people connected to her nonetheless.
A younger brother—even if he treated her like an enemy.
A fiancé—even if their bond was riddled with tension.
And money? The burdens that weighed down my own life weren’t even a shadow in Rivie’s.
Rivie… she was perfect. She possessed everything I had longed for all my life.
“If I’ve returned to my body, then has she gone back to her world too?”
I couldn’t be sure, but… maybe.
Sitting down beside the bed, I pulled out the notebook I had kept while in the hospital.
Pages upon pages were filled with scrawled thoughts, questions, and speculation.
“I’m sure she must have woken up. The feeling I had then was like…”
It felt like being thrown out, as if someone had pushed me away.
As if the original owner of the body had returned to claim it, forcing out the soul that had borrowed it for a time.
My fingers tightened around the pen.
It only made sense. I was never Rivie Arfin.
Of course I had to give the body back. Yet, the connections I made there felt like mine, too, and I refused to let go easily.
Even if I had been living in another person’s body, the feelings were real.
“I have no intention of stealing. I just want to say goodbye… to him.”
I came back without a word, without a chance to say farewell.
Every night, I recalled the desperation in his outstretched hand, and it kept me awake.
“I have to find a way.”
No matter how unreal it felt, none of this had been a dream.
I gazed down at the ring that shimmered faintly on my finger.
The ring Khalid had placed upon it as we exchanged vows in the spring sun.
It was proof that every moment, every word, every glance had been real.
The ring I had meant to give him was still kept safe in my pocket.
This was no illusion.
“I was on my way home from my part-time job that day. The accident happened when…”
I meticulously wrote down every memory I had of that night — the weather, the time, the state of the road.
Since being discharged, I had thrown myself into this obsession.
I revisited the site of the accident countless times, pored over every book and article I could find.
The sweltering summer passed. The forest blushed with autumn’s colors, and soon the world was wrapped in a blanket of snow.
With a thud, I sank to the floor.
Six months had passed since I was discharged, and yet the house was still buried in dust.
Kneeling down, I felt the sting in my knees and clenched my lips, forcing myself to breathe.
“Why…”
Drip. A single tear fell to the floor.
Then another. And another.
My knees ached sharply, but it didn’t matter.
“Why… why…”
Everyone faces despair at least once.
A moment when, no matter how hard you try, nothing goes as you hoped.
A moment when the thing you long for slips from your fingers like mist.
For me, that thing was seeing Khalid one more time.
“I can’t… no. No… no…”
A broken cry tore from deep within.
I refused to accept it.
I refused to give up.
For the first time in my life, I had known what it meant to love and be loved.
“Ah… ugh… aah…”
A sound like a wounded animal escaped from between clenched teeth.
I longed to see him one more time. Just one more time.
What was I supposed to do? Was this some twisted joke the gods were playing?
Why was every moment of peace followed by a storm?
“Ahhhh…!”
My voice rose like a wail, but silence was the only reply.
The world turned its back on me, and only the cold wind embraced me in its place.
The first time I met Khalid was about a month after I awoke in Rivie Arfin’s body.
Although she had suffered a devastating accident, her recovery had been remarkably swift.
Everyone said it was thanks to her holy power.
Rivie Arfin possessed holy power unique in the Empire of Efernia.
Distinct from a priest’s holy magic, her holy power came directly from the goddess Besia herself.
Those gifted with holy power recovered remarkably quickly and possessed the ability to heal others.
It was the holy priestess’ sole and absolute strength.
But this was not the only thing that made her special.
Rivie possessed one more unique gift.
The gift of foresight.
In a novel, one might call it interpreting a god’s oracle, but in this world, the holy priestess possessed the ability to witness the future as it was, without distortion.
Though it could not be invoked at will, nor was it used often, this gift appeared only when the Empire was in grave crisis.
It was as if the goddess Besia herself acted through the holy priestess, preserving the Empire.
Through this holy gift, Rivie held an authority even higher than the Emperor himself.
As the direct descendant of the first Emperor, and combined with her holy status, Rivie Arfin possessed a position that no one could dare to challenge.
Even an Emperor could be surpassed in reverence by the holy priestess herself.
If Rivie had possessed a character as noble as her holy status, the Crown Prince would have felt no animosity toward her.
But Rivie Arfin was infamous for her cruelty and tyranny.
The holy priestess, a figure meant to be a blessing, had instead become the Empire’s greatest tragedy.
“I heard you had an accident. Yet looking at you now, it must have been a lie.”
“…Pardon?”
“What are you hoping to gain from this despicable performance?”
“…”
“Whatever it is, you won’t have it. Not this time.”
The Crown Prince’s voice was thick with disdain, his eyes burning with hatred.
I had no idea why. I had only come out to greet him, as one ought to for a Crown Prince.
Yet his disdain crashed down upon me like a hammer, making my head spin.
“I… don’t understand, Your Highness. What have I done?”
“What?”
He glared down at me, still burning with contempt.
The sheer depth of loathing he felt for Rivie was palpable, and I responded as awkwardly as I could.
Why was this man, her fiancé, behaving like this?
How could this possibly lead to a marriage?
Why were they still engaged? I couldn’t comprehend it.
My puzzlement only deepened the scowl upon Khalid’s brow.
“I don’t believe for a moment that you’ve lost your memories, my lady. Whatever scheme you’re plotting, I will not be deceived.”
With that, Khalid offered one final glance of disdain and turned to leave.
To have come all this way from the Imperial Palace just to say those words — that was the most shocking part of all.
I learned later that he had come to confirm for himself the rumor that Rivie had lost her memories and changed.
But Khalid had left fully convinced it was an act.
Although it was hardly a fond memory, that was the moment Khalid’s name became etched in my heart.
