Chapter 04
After lowering his hand, not a trace of a smile remained on his face.
While I was chatting with Kashiar, the carriage slowly came to a stop. Soon, the scenery outside froze like a painting, telling us we had arrived.
Kashiar stood up, opened the carriage door, and quietly waited for me to step out.
“This feels strange.”
I frowned slightly but smiled as I took his hand and got down.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if you feel like someone I know… or a stranger.”
His grown-up body, his natural adult actions—so different from the boy I remembered—felt unfamiliar.
“Well, that’s…”
“My lady!”
The butler’s urgent voice cut him off.
Normally, interrupting nobles’ conversation is very rude, and I was about to scold him. But when I saw the pale, shaken face of our long-serving butler, words died in my throat.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
His face was so white and shocked, as if he had seen a ghost.
“B-Bring the Madam here! Quickly!”
Instead of answering me, he ordered a servant. The servant looked confused but hurried inside the mansion.
“Mabus, I asked you what’s going on.”
“Forgive me, my lady. Please, come inside at once.”
“Ah, but as you can see, I have a guest. Please prepare some tea.”
Even if I didn’t want him here, it would be rude to just send the Duke back without courtesy.
“…”
“Mabus?”
But the butler only pressed his lips tight, staring pale and terrified—as if he’d seen a demon from hell.
“Sister.”
Kashiar’s gentle voice called from behind me.
“Sorry. He’s not usually like this. Something must have happened in the mansion.”
“It’s fine.”
When I turned, his face was calm, without a flicker of emotion.
“Really, I’m sorry.”
I pressed my palms together and apologized again. Normally, a duke could have demanded the rude butler’s head.
“Tomorrow…”
“Hm?”
He stopped, as if hesitating.
“May I… see you again?”
“Leria!”
Before I could answer, my mother came out quickly, cutting in. She pulled me behind her, like a mother shielding her child from a wild beast.
“Long time no see, young master. No—should I say Duke now?”
“Yes. It’s been a while, Countess Astante.”
Their words were polite, but the air between them was sharp and cold, like two predators facing off.
My mother excused herself, saying the house had troubles, and Kashiar just twisted a smile, agreeing. They exchanged a chilling farewell.
“Come, Leria.”
Mother pulled me firmly inside. I wanted to say goodbye to Kashiar, but her grip was strong, almost desperate. So I obeyed.
Still, as the door was closing, I glanced back.
And through the narrow gap, I saw Kashiar’s face—the exact same expression he had on the day we first parted, so long ago.
“Mother!”
I tugged her hand. “I didn’t even say goodbye properly. Just a moment, please!”
She sighed, then allowed me.
I hurried outside, but Kashiar was already walking away fast.
“Kashiar!”
Finally, he stopped and turned when I called. I ran so hard my shoe heel broke.
“Why walk when you could take the carriage?” I panted.
He didn’t answer.
“Why did you come back?” he asked instead.
I blinked. Should I say “because your face stayed on my mind”? No… that would sound like pity.
“You asked if we could meet again, didn’t you? I came to answer. And to say goodbye properly.”
But Kashiar’s face stayed stiff and unreadable.
I tried again. “Next time, contact me formally. I’d like to hear how you’ve been—”
“Leriana.”
I froze. He hadn’t called me by my name in years. Back then, it was always “sister.” Hearing it now, deep in his adult voice, felt strange and unsettling.
Before I could react, Kashiar leaned down and rested his forehead on my shoulder.
“You don’t need to remember. Even if you forget everything… it doesn’t matter.”
His warm breath brushed against me.
“Because I remember.”
Then he straightened, face calm again.
“Then, I’ll take my leave. I’ll contact you properly next time.”
I stood there, dazed. Was it a dream? No—the warmth still lingering on my shoulder proved it was real.
“He still has that habit,” I thought. Always saying only what he wants, regardless of the flow of conversation.
“Uh… right. Take care.”
I scratched my neck, full of questions. Why was he acting like this? What did he want from me?
After leaving the mansion, Kashiar turned down an alley. Soon he reached a plain carriage, where a man with a monocle waited.
“You’re finished, sir?”
“Yes.”
“Back to the estate?”
Kashiar nodded and stepped inside.
“You don’t look pleased. Did things not go well?” the man, Heshiv, asked.
Kashiar’s expression looked the same as usual—calm, unreadable. He was not a man who showed emotions easily.
But Heshiv had served him long enough to notice: someone who had just met the person he longed for should not look this dry and lifeless.
“Tell me, Heshiv. Do you dislike being interrupted while doing your work?”
“Of course. Who wouldn’t?”
“Hmm. I thought so.”
Kashiar folded his arms and looked out the window.
Heshiv understood. The lady must have interrupted him in some way, upsetting his plans.
In fact, Kashiar had not planned to meet her like this. He had prepared carefully, wanting a perfect, fateful reunion. But when he heard she was about to see another man, he even rejected the Emperor’s summons an hour ago and rushed out.
Heshiv frowned. Did the lady not share Kashiar’s feelings? If she did, she would have welcomed him no matter what.
Kashiar’s eyes narrowed as he recalled her coldness—the way she looked at him indifferently, the way she followed her mother without hesitation, her back turning away from him. None of these were in the countless scenarios he had imagined.
“Heshiv.”
“Yes, sir?”
“How… does one build a relationship with someone?”
“…Excuse me?”
Heshiv’s face stiffened. He had seen many things in life, but never expected this. To see Kashiar—of all people—asking how to get along with a woman.
