Chapter 9
“…….”
Unable to discern the Marquis of Elvington’s intentions, I chose to remain silent.
Cruelly enough, the Marquis said no more and simply finished his meal.
Once he left, Michael also told me to go to work properly before leaving the dining room.
“Phew, finally some peace.”
I ate the food I had missed out on because of the two of them as best as I could, then got up from my seat.
“Mary, can you prepare my uniform?”
Back in my room, I changed into my work uniform with Mary’s help.
Then I took the newly issued ceremonial sword in place of the one left at the gambling hall.
Though ceremonial, the sword was still fairly heavy.
The tension of holding a sword for the first time quickly faded, thanks to the knowledge of sword handling that remained vividly in Elia’s mind. I strapped the sword on without difficulty.
“Though I can’t even use a quarter of that knowledge because of the injury…”
“What was that, my lady?”
“Nothing. Just talking to myself, Mary.”
I stepped out, mentally organizing what I knew about Elia’s injury.
I remembered she had hurt her dominant right arm and could no longer swing a sword with power.
‘All she can manage is holding and lifting the sword, at best.’
It was a painfully realistic and brutally cruel injury.
But thankfully, it wasn’t without a solution.
Elia’s injury carried a secret unknown to others.
“Oh, right. My lady.”
Just as I was thinking about Elia’s injury, Mary spoke up.
“What is it?”
I paused my thoughts and turned to her.
“Um, do you know about Sir Ivach? I thought you might not have heard yet.”
Carlos’s name came up again.
I instantly sensed that he had done something that would significantly affect me.
Did he report all my past misdeeds?
‘…No, that’s not it.’
Carlos wasn’t the tattling type. He was the kind to endure until he exploded in one go.
So what was it then?
“You really haven’t heard, I see.”
As I stared at Mary, she hesitated a bit before speaking.
“Sir Ivach came to escort you.”
“Escort me? Why would he escort me?”
“Um, well…”
Just as Mary was about to respond—
“I can’t tell what scheme you’re planning since yesterday, so of course I should stay close and keep watch.”
Carlos’s voice cut through like a cold wind.
Turning around, I saw him in his knight uniform.
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“By the way, I see you’ve taken to calling me quite affectionately.”
“A-Ah, Sir Ivach.”
Caught calling him that guy, I flinched.
“Are you… actually embarrassed?”
Carlos narrowed his eyes, seemingly surprised by my reaction.
He was probably shocked because Elia was a hopeless delinquent, and no one believed I had truly turned over a new leaf.
“…What did I usually call you, again?”
“You used many terms, but most commonly, ‘some mutt from who-knows-where.’ Occasionally…”
Carlos’s eyes sparkled coldly.
“You called me a ‘mongrel.’”
A chill ran down my spine.
Elia, you really were a piece of work.
‘At least an old fogey might’ve been kind of cute. This is just straight-up a slur.’
I cleared my throat.
The things Elia had done were outrageous, but I reminded myself not to get overwhelmed and forget what I needed to do.
Let’s not forget—I’m a reformed scoundrel now.
And a reformed scoundrel has to be even more shameless than a regular one.
“I apologize for using such inappropriate terms in the past.”
Carlos’s eyes widened at my quick apology.
“I promise not to address you like that again.”
“…I didn’t expect you’d still be playing the repentance game.”
“Harsh. But it’s not a game. It’s real.”
Naturally, Carlos didn’t believe me.
I mean, just the fact that he came to monitor my commute showed how little he trusted me.
‘Wait, did Carlos ever follow Elia to work like this in the original?’
I searched my memory but couldn’t recall such a scene.
Carlos had always cleaned up Elia’s messes, but he never proactively looked after her.
Well… if this even counts as looking after her.
Still, this change from the original storyline was a good sign.
“Thanks for coming.”
While I was at it, I expressed my gratitude.
“Good heavens! My lady just said thank you!”
Mary muttered with her hands over her mouth.
Carlos also seemed shocked, freezing for a brief moment.
“Let’s go.”
To help him regain composure, I took the lead.
I felt him fall in step behind me a beat later.
Outside, his brown mare and my black horse were waiting.
Carlos’s mare neighed at mine, showing aggression.
“Stop that. Behave.”
Carlos scolded his horse.
“You too. Calm down.”
Feeling like I had to do something as well, I chided my horse.
Carlos gave me a strange look and then spoke.
“Please, mount up first. I’ll escort you.”
He spoke with flawless formality.
That reminded me of the original description of Carlos.
Wasn’t it that he wore a mask of politeness to avoid giving others any ammunition due to his background, even though his true personality was rather rough?
And every time that mask cracked, readers would cheer, calling it satisfying.
As a reader, I had found Carlos charming back then.
But in person…
“Must be suffocating.”
“Pardon?”
He somehow heard my mumbling.
“Your personality, I mean.”
I was about to wave it off as nothing but changed my mind.
“You’re holding everything in, aren’t you? Because of me. Worried I’ll cause trouble again, or hurt your career in the Order.”
Carlos let go of his mare’s reins and turned to face me.
His expression was unreadable.
“Why are you saying this? Is this a new form of mockery?”
Carlos finally spoke.
“No matter how much you try to provoke me, I won’t dance to your tune. And you won’t find any excuse to get me kicked out of the Order.”
He must have misunderstood. I’d meant it as comfort, but to him, it was just another ploy from the infamous Elia.
“I’ve said it before, and I know you won’t believe me, but I have no intention of getting you expelled.”
Carlos’s expression grew more confused.
“I tormented you badly, I know.”
I admitted it plainly. Acknowledgment is essential; without it, a victim can never begin to heal.
“I won’t make excuses. It was my fault. And you had to endure it just because you were my subordinate.”
Carlos flinched.
He really hadn’t expected me to say such things.
“But I want you to know that I regret it more than anything. I’m seriously trying to change. And I will do my utmost to become a better person.”
Silence.
‘Right. It must sound unbelievable.’
But that’s okay. If I keep trying, eventually Carlos will open his heart.
Just as I was about to mount my horse using Elia’s memories—
“Why.”
Carlos tossed the word at me.
“Why are you suddenly trying to change?”
I paused and lowered the foot I had raised to the stirrup.
Then, I met his gaze seriously.
I could tell. This was the moment a small crack had formed in Carlos’s heart—the perfect chance to show I’d truly changed.
“The reason I’m trying to change…”
I had been thinking about this answer ever since deciding to reform, so the words came easily.
“It’s because I want to save myself.”
“Save yourself?”
Carlos looked puzzled.
“What do you mean?”
“As you know, I’m a mess. An alcoholic, a gambling addict, someone who can’t control impulses or anger. And now, injured with no clear future.”
Carlos fell silent, seemingly taken aback by my brutal honesty.
“I acted like a scoundrel because I couldn’t accept my reality. But now I’m trying to accept it.”
Carlos inhaled sharply. I kept smiling as I continued.
“I’ll accept it, and then choose the best possible future from where I stand.”
