Chapter 105
My heart was pounding wildly.
I didn’t know if it was because of Kallian’s sudden question — or the way he stood so close.
Just then, the sound of hoofbeats echoed outside.
Soldiers patrolling the castle grounds were passing by on horseback.
Without thinking, I grabbed Kallian by the collar and pulled him down with me under the table.
He froze for a moment, startled, then quickly followed my lead and held his breath.
Only after the hoofbeats began to fade into the distance did I exhale in relief.
Then, in a quiet voice, Kallian asked,
“Why are we hiding?”
That was when I realized — we were far too close under this cramped table.
Flustered, I stammered,
“Well… that’s…”
Honestly, it had been instinct.
If Lloyd’s soldiers — who were practically his eyes and ears — saw Kallian here, things would end badly.
I wanted Kallian to leave this place as soon as possible, but I didn’t want him caught by Lloyd either.
Even if Kallian’s memory was gone, I couldn’t predict what Lloyd would do if he discovered him here.
At that moment, a pair of small feet appeared before us.
Looking up, I saw Denian peeking under the table with wide, curious eyes.
Then, giggling, he squeezed himself between me and Kallian and crouched down.
“Me too! Hide and seek!”
The tension instantly dissolved.
Kallian and I both let out a small laugh at the same time.
That day, I again packed my bag with food, medicine, and supplies from the castle and set off for the cottage with Denian.
Since the path was too narrow for a carriage, I left it near the forest and walked the rest of the way, holding Denian’s small hand in one of mine and the bag in the other.
When the cottage came into view, I saw Kallian already waiting for us outside.
The moment Denian spotted him, he let go of my hand and ran ahead with tiny steps.
“Mister!”
Watching that small back, my chest tightened again.
To any stranger, it would look like a happy child running to his father — but reality was far from ordinary.
When Denian suddenly tripped and fell, both Kallian and I gasped in alarm.
Before I could even move, Kallian rushed forward and lifted the child into his arms.
Denian’s chin trembled as if he were about to cry, but he bit his lip and tried hard not to let the tears fall.
Kallian smiled gently and stroked his head.
“Denian, you’re so brave. You didn’t even cry.”
Denian sniffled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
“Yesh. Denian’s a big boy now.”
Amused, Kallian chuckled softly and patted his hair again.
“Your mother must be so proud to have a son like you.”
At that, Denian straightened his little shoulders.
“Uh-huh! Denian will take care of Mommy for Daddy too!”
The words were so pure — yet so heavy — that Kallian froze, speechless.
Watching them, I felt something swell painfully in my chest.
Unable to bear it any longer, I quickly walked over.
“Your wounds will reopen. Give him to me.”
My voice came out colder than I intended.
Kallian hesitated but obeyed quietly, handing Denian over.
I gathered Denian in my arms and turned away, hurrying into the cottage before he could see my expression.
Watching Kallian and Denian sit together at the table, eating a simple meal, filled me with strange, conflicting emotions.
Never — not even once — had I imagined seeing such a scene in this lifetime.
It had become routine while Kallian stayed here recovering, but now that I looked at it clearly, it was almost cruelly ironic.
‘What am I even doing?’
Feeding the man who, in our previous life, might have been the one who killed Denian…
Maybe I should have pretended not to see him that day.
Or sent someone else to help.
Had I pitied him because he’d been wounded and helpless?
Or… because he was Denian’s father?
‘No, it’s not too late yet.’
Before his memory returns, I have to separate them.
While I was thinking that, Kallian finished eating and began gathering the dishes, watching me carefully for approval.
I stared at him blankly.
The heir of Valdormer, clearing plates like a servant?
Denian, meanwhile, was playing on the floor with the little wooden figurine Kallian had carved for him.
Then, while moving the dishes to the sink, Kallian accidentally dropped a plate — it shattered loudly.
Startled, I sighed and bent down to pick up the pieces.
“You don’t have to do all this.”
Kallian flinched and reached out to stop me.
“Please, let me clean it up.”
“Don’t make more work for yourself. Just focus on recovering — that’s how you can help.”
At my curt tone, Kallian looked a little hurt but mumbled softly,
“I guess… I wasn’t used to this kind of work before.”
Of course not.
The heir of Valdormer had likely never washed a dish in his life.
I swallowed that thought and replied flatly,
“No… I suppose not.”
This place, this simple life — none of it suited him.
Everything about the way he acted now felt unfamiliar and wrong.
‘Can a person really change so much just from losing their memory?’
Lost in thought, I didn’t notice the sharp edge of broken glass until it sliced my finger.
“Ah…!”
Blood welled up immediately.
Before I could react, Kallian grabbed my hand in alarm.
“You’re bleeding!”
His voice carried real panic.
I tried to pull away calmly.
“It’s shallow. Don’t worry about it.”
But Kallian ignored me, gently but firmly guiding me to sit at the table.
Then he took out the medicine box I’d brought for his own injuries, handling it like he already knew where everything was.
When I opened my mouth to protest, he interrupted,
“Please let me do this much.”
Before I could argue, he was already cleaning and disinfecting the wound — his movements practiced and efficient.
He handled it so naturally that I froze for a moment.
‘He’s done this before… from war, maybe? Or… is he starting to remember?’
As I worried, he carefully finished applying ointment and began wrapping the bandage with gentle precision.
But his rough fingertips brushed against my skin again and again, making it hard to breathe normally.
Trying to ignore the warmth of his touch, I bit my lip — until he suddenly murmured,
“You know… we still don’t even know each other’s names.”
“…”
“It’s strange for me to say that, when I can’t even remember my own name.”
“…”
Of course I knew his name.
But I had never once said it aloud.
He only called me “Madam,”
and I only ever addressed him as “you” or “hey.”
“Would you… tell me your name?” he asked carefully.
I could feel his fingers trembling slightly as he tied the bandage.
That trembling — so unlike him — made my chest tighten strangely.
After a long silence, I finally spoke softly.
“We’re just passing strangers. There’s no need to know names.”
I was afraid.
Afraid that if he heard my name, it might trigger something — a memory, a realization.
I just wanted him to leave quietly,
as if he had never been here.
As if we had never met.
He seemed to understand my refusal, because he said nothing more.
But this time, his hands slowed as he wrapped the last of the bandage.
After a long pause, he spoke again in a low, determined voice.
“Then… please let me ask one thing.”
He met my eyes — calm but unyielding.
“Will you give me a name, then?”
The firmness in his gaze made it clear — he wouldn’t let go of my hand until I agreed.
Feeling suffocated by his closeness, I blurted out without thinking,
“Kal…”
I bit my tongue before I said the full name.
“Kal…?” he repeated, looking intrigued.
I didn’t answer.
Kallian smiled faintly.
“I like it. Kal.”
His solid hand still held mine, the warmth of his skin sinking deep into my palm.
I carefully pulled my hand away.
“Looks like you can handle basic first aid on your own now. You won’t need my help anymore.”
Every instinct in me screamed that it was dangerous to stay near him any longer.
I turned to leave — but his next quiet words made me freeze.
“If I said I wanted to stay here… would that be rude?”
My body stiffened, my back still to him.
After a long moment, I forced my lips to move.
“Yes. It would.”
And then, before my heart could betray me,
I walked away — almost running.
