Chapter 65
The late-night air was quite chilly as it brushed against her skin.
Without realizing it, Luna found herself standing before Khalid’s office. She didn’t have any particular reason to be there. It was just that the lingering emotions from the garden still clung to her, and she thought perhaps coming here might help her calm down.
She raised her hand to knock on the door—engraved with the delicate crest of the Bahir family—but stopped mid-motion.
“…”
There was nothing for her to say to him. She suddenly wondered if she was only intruding, realizing again that aside from purification, she and he had no real connection at all.
Luna exhaled a faint sigh and turned her gaze toward the forbidden library Gérard had mentioned. Normally, it was so far out of the way she would never have gone near it, but somehow her feet carried her there, step by step, until she stood before its door.
To be honest, she was curious. That was the place where his pain lingered, where his past was buried. She wanted to peek into the library and glimpse his truth.
‘If I do… would I be able to get a little closer to you?’
Luna shook her head. Why was she thinking that now—after marrying him for her own benefit? The thought made her smile bitterly.
“Let’s go back,” she murmured quietly and slowly turned around.
But just then, a familiar light seeped out through the narrow gap beneath the dim door.
She instinctively leaned closer, lowering herself until her face was near the opening. The closer she got, the stronger and more dazzling the light became, and she found herself staring, mesmerized.
Surprisingly, the light spilling out was the same aurora-like glow emitted by the ancient family grimoire.
‘Why…?’
Luna’s mind went blank in shock. She couldn’t understand why the light suddenly appeared—but deep down, she felt a strong instinct that the clue she’d been searching for was inside that room.
Her heart pounded as she reached out and grasped the pale gray door handle with trembling fingers. When she twisted it, a dull clunk told her it was locked.
At that moment, a heavy presence loomed behind her. A warm hand suddenly touched her wrist, pulling her gently but firmly away from the door.
“Ah—”
“What are you doing here?”
When Luna looked up, a pair of cool, watery-blue eyes pierced straight down at her. The man she hadn’t seen in quite some time looked unmistakably displeased.
“I… uh…”
“You didn’t come here to see me, did you? You were standing outside for quite a while, yet somehow ended up here. Care to explain?”
“How did you even know I was outside your office?”
Khalid rubbed the back of his neck and replied casually,
“With all the time we’ve spent together, how could I not know? I can sense my wife’s presence immediately.”
“…”
Luna was momentarily speechless. The unexpected answer made her ears burn red. The thought that he’d been paying such close attention to her was both surprising and oddly disorienting.
So… had he been waiting inside for her to come in?
At that thought, the heat spread from her ears down her cheeks.
Luna bit her lip and glanced again at the door where the mysterious light had been. Unfortunately, the glow had vanished without a trace.
“Your Grace, may I take just a brief look inside?” she asked, changing the subject.
Khalid’s face hardened.
“If you came to ask my permission, you’re wasting your time. Gérard must have told you already—this library is off-limits. Go back.”
“I know. I meant to avoid it, truly—but something happened.”
“Something happened? And what exactly would that be?”
Khalid crossed his arms coldly. His expression made it clear that if she tried any weak excuse, he’d shut her down without hesitation.
Luna panicked. She wanted to clear up his misunderstanding, but she had no intention of revealing her curse here.
“A curse! Yes, it’s because of my curse,” she blurted out. “I happened to see something leaking from the door—an aura that felt similar to yours. As a purification mage, I thought I should check, just in case.”
Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—her excuse sounded plausible enough. Khalid tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes.
“I see. Well, to tell you the truth, there’s nothing in that library that needs purifying. So there’s no need to concern yourself. I’ll escort you back.”
He took her by the wrist and led her away. His tone made it clear: her request had been rejected.
Luna nodded with a trace of disappointment. Given the strange light she’d just seen, she was certain she needed to enter that library somehow—but it wouldn’t be easy.
They walked in silence up the stairs and down the hall toward the Grand Duchess’s quarters.
Luna felt the gentle pressure of his hand around her wrist. The warmth had deepened slightly, but it wasn’t enough to ease the yearning that had bloomed within her. It felt as if he was drawing a line between them—their distance was exactly as it was now.
Resigned, Luna bowed her head.
“Thank you for walking me back. Have a good night.”
“Mm.”
His quiet reply carried traces of fatigue.
“Did I interrupt you? I heard you’ve been very busy.”
“It’s fine. I’m nearly done.”
“So I did interrupt you after all.”
Luna drooped her shoulders and looked up at him. Under the warm glow of the lamp, his face looked terribly worn.
“Are you really all right? Have you been sleeping at all?”
When she looked closely, she noticed the dark shadows beneath his eyes, and her own widened in concern. Without thinking, she reached up toward his face—
Smack!
Her gentle hand was brushed away, firmly but without malice.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“…”
Luna blinked at the sudden coldness in his tone. He was treating her like a stranger again, keeping her at arm’s length.
The sting of it ached deep in her chest. The sudden emotional distance felt as vast and sharp as a line drawn through her heart.
Come to think of it… she had only come because she missed him. She really did have something to say.
Her trembling eyes dropped to the floor, missing the sight of his throat bobbing as he swallowed back words.
Khalid turned slowly, his cloak rippling behind him. Luna didn’t want him to leave like this. The invisible wall between them would haunt her all night if she didn’t do something. So she grabbed his sleeve and refused to let go.
“Your Grace, I didn’t come to ask for permission. I came because I had something to say. Though… it’s really more like encouragement, not anything important. Um…”
Her words tumbled out awkwardly and unpolished, but thankfully, he stood still and listened.
Luna drew in a breath and stepped closer to him.
“I… I tried to end my life too, five years ago.”
“…Did Gérard tell you about that? He really does say the most unnecessary things. Whose aide is he, anyway?”
Khalid lowered his head slightly and gave a dry, self-deprecating laugh. It wasn’t exactly a secret, but it wasn’t something he liked to discuss.
But what truly caught his attention was that she had tried to die, too. His head turned toward her before he could stop himself. Bright, lively Luna—her very presence filled his senses again.
Khalid clenched his jaw, staying silent. It wasn’t his curse acting up, yet his chest throbbed painfully all the same.
“Still, I think I lived on because of something someone once told me—to live happily, all the way until I die of old age. It felt like a final wish… so I tried to honor it.”
“…”
“So, what I want to say is—Your Grace, please don’t think about dying. Live to the very end. I’ll purify you somehow, no matter what. I am your wife, after all. Family means trusting and leaning on each other, even for small things. I might not seem reliable, but… just once, try closing your eyes and relying on me.”
You always comforted me so kindly—so don’t carry your pain alone. I want to be your comfort, too.
The words spilled out of her freely until the last two lines stuck in her throat. Her heart was beating so wildly that for a moment she worried it sounded like a confession.
When she looked up with her face flushed, she found his gaze fixed on her, as if transfixed.
“S-so, what I meant is… since I’m working so hard on purification, perhaps you could cooperate a little and allow me access to that library?” she added in a flustered rush.
“…”
“I’ll just take a quick look, I promise! You can even watch me the whole time. I swear, something in there feels strange.”
“Can our purification mage even smell something that special?” he asked, his tired eyes softening for the first time that night, a faint smile playing at his lips.
“Yes! It’s the kind of smell that helps with purification!”
Luna answered brightly, wagging her words like an eager puppy’s tail. The cold wall he had built crumbled effortlessly under her warmth.
Khalid looked down at her and smiled faintly. No matter how hard he tried to push her away, the sunlight she radiated always found a way through.
Control was impossible now. He couldn’t even tell what he was supposed to do with Luna Bahir anymore.
He slowly closed and opened his eyes, suppressing the ache in his chest. Then, as if struck by an idea, he exhaled and curved his lips.
Reaching into the inner pocket of his uniform, he pulled out a key and placed it in her hand.
“If you insist, I’ll give you until the opening ceremony. Honestly, I’m not fond of that place—it holds too many memories. So go on your own and make sure you’re not caught.”
Luna’s face lit up instantly, completely missing the sly glint in his eyes.
“I didn’t expect you to actually give me the key! Thank you so much!”
“Don’t thank me yet. I’ll do my best to stop you.”
“What? Why?”
“I told you already,” he said calmly. “Because I don’t want to.”
