Chapter 04
He thought that one day, just like everyone else, Axion would regret ever loving someone like her and walk away.
She believed that once he left, she would feel relieved—just like she always did—without the slightest guilt.
But in reality, after he died, she trembled in pain every single day. Dying wasn’t scary. What she regretted most was pushing away his kindness and testing him so coldly.
He was a completely different kind of person from her. He was always honest with his feelings and never afraid to show them.
When the assassin Cheryl sent snuck into her bedroom, she actually felt relieved.
But seeing Axion standing there, just like in the past, suddenly made her cry.
“If things go on like this, Axion will die because of me again.”
There was no such thing as “just enough.”
She had to give him her best. Until he no longer looked surprised by her kindness. That was the only way she could ever hope to be forgiven.
He had no idea what she was thinking, and in front of her, he looked nervous.
It was like he wanted to hug her but hesitated, unsure of what scolding he might get.
Even his cape seemed to get in the way, so he tossed it aside.
“Jen, if I’ve done something wrong, please tell me—”
“There’s nothing like that.”
Without thinking, she threw herself into his arms. The emotions had overwhelmed her and her body moved before her mind could catch up.
He was so surprised, he couldn’t finish his sentence. Hugging his strong waist made her emotions rise even more.
“Jen…”
Hic
When the crying finally calmed, now hiccups came out instead.
“I didn’t mean to cry like this…”
She didn’t plan on bawling in front of him. Forget being a kind lover—she had completely failed.
He gently patted her back and waited until she fully calmed down.
****
After sobbing for a while and catching her breath, she started to think clearly again.
“Why on earth did I cry like that?”
She felt terribly embarrassed—more than any other time, even more than when she had shouted at him or looked messy.
Still in his arms, she began to wonder how to escape this awkward moment.
“Are you done crying now?”
Axion softly asked, noticing she had stopped.
She quickly pushed him away. The way she suddenly hugged him, and now suddenly pushed him—yet he didn’t seem surprised at all.
“So embarrassing…”
She had never been this embarrassed before. Her ears felt hot from blushing.
“He’s not laughing at me… right?”
Ridiculously, even now, she was more worried about appearances than anything else. She bit the inside of her cheek in self-blame.
“I just… had something in my eye.”
“What kind of excuse is that…”
Even she couldn’t believe her own excuse. She wanted to sew her lips shut.
But she couldn’t think of a better explanation. She had cried so hard just from him giving her a gift… it even surprised herself.
“I’ll take a look for you.”
“There’s no need—”
She leaned her head back to avoid him seeing her puffy eyes, but his hand was faster.
He gently cupped her cheek and looked closely. It had been so long since they’d been this close.
She forgot to shake his hand off and stared back at him.
His eyes were sharp, but she had never thought he looked cold.
That was because whenever he looked at her, his gaze was always soft.
“Looks like the tears washed it away. You’re fine now.”
“……”
He was her fiancé, but aside from a light kiss at their engagement ceremony long ago, they’d never had any physical contact. If she didn’t like it, he never touched her, and she had always refused his touch.
So even though they were engaged, they had never kissed.
Remembering that, she looked at him. His ears quickly turned red.
“Sorry for touching you without permission.”
She hadn’t meant it that way, but things kept getting awkward.
Worried he might cry next, she took a step back.
“…As long as you know.”
Her cold tone seemed to comfort him.
Thankfully, he didn’t seem to think she was weird for crying so hard.
****
When she sent Axion back to the palace without stopping by the Duke’s residence, she felt drained.
Crying earlier had taken a lot out of her.
“At least Axion’s back now. I can breathe a little.”
It was only the second time she’d seen him since coming back to the past. Now it finally felt real—he was alive.
She was glad to see him again, and even more grateful that he was still alive.
After lying on the couch for a while, her maid Miletta walked in.
“Your Grace, Young Master Dolan has come to see you.”
“Forget it. Send him away.”
Long ago, before she was engaged to Axion, she had also sent away Maksim Dolan. The reason was very different now.
She really didn’t want to see Maksim Dolan’s face ever again.
Even if she had to see him eventually, today of all days, she refused.
“Tell him I’m sick.”
“I did, but he says he’ll nurse you himself.”
“Say it’s contagious.”
“He says he’s not afraid.”
“Say I’m emotionally unwell.”
“He said his face will make you feel better.”
At that, she sat up with a sharp glare.
“What a leech!”
Since she let him close, he’d clung to her like a parasite.
She regretted not cutting him off sooner. No matter how many times she refused, Maksim always came back. It was like her rejections meant nothing to him.
He was a greedy man. But now that she knew what he was after, she had no intention of falling for it again.
“Then tell him this—”
Hearing her words, Miletta’s dark eyes gleamed.
If chasing him off meant using necromancy, she was ready.
****
It wasn’t the first time Maksim Dolan was denied an audience. But even after repeated rejections, he still seemed sure he’d get to meet the Regent eventually.
He hadn’t managed to replace Duke Dierik yet, but that too, he thought, was just a matter of time.
The Regent had a history of romantic flings. Since she had clearly chosen someone completely opposite from Duke Dierik, Maksim was certain she must hate the Duke.
The Festival of the Goddess Hecate was coming soon.
If he could be her partner at the event instead of the Duke, it would cause a huge stir.
“She’s probably not really sick.”
He bit his lip in frustration. He had no idea why she kept rejecting him now.
Maksim’s pink hair looked like sweet cotton candy, and his eyes were as blue as the sky. But despite his bright appearance, his face was dark with worry.
Being denied a meeting wasn’t strange, but this time felt… different. It was like she was truly tired of him.
“No way.”
His only real asset was his looks.
The Dolan family had completely collapsed. They didn’t even have enough money to officially inherit their noble title.
Their lands were taken away, and all they had left was one crumbling mansion that cost a fortune to maintain.
If he became the Regent’s partner at the festival, he could restore his reputation in high society—and stop worrying about money for a while. Most nobles were just rich fools waiting to spend.
“She hasn’t gone back to Dierik, has she?”
He laughed at himself for thinking that. “As if.”
Just then, he heard someone behind him. He quickly fixed his face and greeted the head maid with his usual gentle smile.
“Where is Her Grace?”
“She’s currently with someone else, so I’m afraid you can’t see her.”
“…Who is she with?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that.”
“……”
Maksim glared past Miletta, as if staring hard enough would let him see who was inside.
“Is it Duke Dearic?”
“……”
Miletta stayed silent. But that was enough.
Maksim, assuming it was a yes, grabbed his coat.
“I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
“Come in the afternoon.”
“Why?!”
“Her Grace will be busy all morning.”
And with that, Miletta left. Since Maksim hadn’t requested a formal audience and wasn’t a high noble, she could leave first.
Maksim was left standing there, face red with anger.
As Miletta walked away, a faint smile tugged at her lips.
She had only been dealing with him because of Jeneia. But even if her mistress had changed lately, there was nothing Miletta could’ve done if she had said to let Maksim in.
Still, Jeneia had firmly refused.
Unlike before, this time she meant it.
She had even accepted Duke Dierik’s visit recently, which was completely opposite.
“Maybe… her heart really has changed.”
It was too soon to be sure, but Miletta quietly came to that conclusion.
And it wouldn’t take long for it to prove true.
****
It had been a long time since she sat in the courtyard, soaking up the sun.
She ignored the sweets Miletta had brought and stared off into space.
She had made Axyon cry, then cried herself. So much had happened in just a few days.
This was the time to stay sharp.
Otherwise, Axion might once again walk to the execution stand with his own two feet.
“I can’t let that happen again.”
She repeated her determination again and again.
Then she sensed someone approaching from the courtyard entrance. She straightened up right away.
Wanting to look gentle and kind, she wore a very simple outfit today.
A beige satin dress that shimmered in the sun and gave her a calm, composed look.
Soon, Miletta appeared with a guest.
“You’re here. Thank you for coming. Please sit down.”
She smiled warmly and spoke kindly.
The person next to Miletta was her eleven-year-old nephew—Lexin.
