ILTDAMH | CHAPTER 16

Chapter 16

“My lady, I didn’t realise you were so… bold.”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing up there? And how did you even get up that tree? If you can’t get down, I can help—”

“W-wait a moment, Ruan. Haha. Let’s take this one question at a time. First, what am I doing here? Well, I was just eating the apple pie the steward made. For me. This tree—well, back when I was staying at the Viscount’s estate, it was one of the few places I felt at ease. I guess I climbed up without even thinking. I hope that’s not… a problem?”

“Of course not. As long as it’s something my lady wishes to do, it’s hardly a problem. However…”

“How did I get up here? Hehe. Even though I’m a bit big, I’ve been climbing trees since I was little. I’m quite good at it. And if I can climb up, I’m just as good at climbing down, so no need to worry.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Yeah…”

There was a sudden pause, and an awkward silence stretched between them. 

Mercian reached into the basket and handed Ruan a piece of apple pie.

“Would you like some?”

Ruan wasn’t usually fond of sweets, but something about a pie offered by Mercian made him think it might taste different.

He smiled and reached out.

“If you’re offering, then I’d be a fool to refuse.”

He took the pie and quietly closed the window.

Whew.

I chose the biggest, widest branch to climb this tree…

Guess I won’t be able to come here again.

Maybe I’ll have to climb the tree near my room instead.

Mercian steadied her startled heart and was just about to take a bite when the window slid open again.

“…”

“Oh, my lady, I almost forgot to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Welcome back, my lady.”

“Ah, Ruan, thank you for all your hard work today.”

“I appreciate your concern. Just don’t stay in the tree too long—you might catch a cold. Let’s see each other at dinner.”

“…Alright.”

I’m supposed to live with him in silence for six months, as if I don’t even exist.

Why, then, is he being so generous?

And why don’t I hate it?

Mercian felt a strange flutter as she looked at Ruan’s cheerful smile.

***

Ah. 

Could it be because of my lady?

Ruan had dared to sleep alone that night, wondering if his insomnia had finally been cured.

But instead, he tossed and turned until dawn, never falling asleep.

His head pounded from the lack of rest, and just as he tried to sit up to fetch his medicine—

Gasp!

Clutching her chest, Ruan collapsed to the floor.

Thud!

.

.

.

…What’s happening?

Mercian had woken unusually early and was enjoying a warm cup of tea while watching the first light of dawn.

That came from Ruan’s room!

Wrapping a shawl around her shoulders, Mercian hurried over and knocked on the door.

“Ruan?”

No answer.

“Ruan, I heard a noise. I’m coming in.”

She opened the door and found Ruan collapsed on the floor.

“Oh my, Ruan!”

Rushing to her side, Mercian pulled her gently into her arms and laid her carefully on the bed.

“Is… is he not breathing?”

She placed a finger beneath his nose. 

No warmth. 

No breath.

“Could it be… already? No, it can’t be.”

To lose her husband just two days after the wedding… this must be a nightmare.

Mercian loosened the collar of Luan’s nightshirt and pressed her ear to his chest to check if his heart was still beating.

Is that… his heartbeat?

But the steady thumping in her ear—she couldn’t tell if it belonged to Ruan… or herself.

Why is no one coming?

Suddenly, Ruan’s arm encircled Mercian tightly as she raised her head to go get Edward on her own.

“My lady… I never knew you were this forward.”

“R-Ruan, are you alright? J-just—please take a moment to relax your arm. I was so scared when you collapsed…”

Suddenly, realising that her face was pressed against Ruan’s exposed skin, Mercian struggled.

She rushed to get away, but Ruan clung to her even more.

Bang!

“Master! What’s happening? Oh, my lady, I’m sorry!” Edward burst into the room, panic etched on his face. Seeing Mercian squirming in Ruan’s half-naked embrace, he hurriedly bowed and retreated.

“Ah—no, Edward, it’s not like that. Ruan, please—these arms…”

Why is this man, barely half my size, so strong?

Mercian twisted and squirmed, unable to break free from his hold, and Ruan, instead of loosening his grip, pulled her even closer.

“Haah… Please stay still, my lady. I didn’t sleep all night; my head feels like it’s splitting. Your struggling only makes it worse.”

“Oh… sorry. B-but didn’t you take your sleeping medicine last night?”

“I… I forgot somehow. I think if I just rest a bit, I’ll be fine. Just a moment—wait—”

“Ruan?”

Wait, he’s asleep?

Mercian stayed frozen, afraid to move for fear of waking him. 

Ruan was sound asleep, arms wrapped tightly around her slender frame.

What a strange man.

He said he needs the sleeping pills to fall asleep… yet he dozed off so easily like this.

Carefully, she shifted just enough to adjust his nightshirt and cover him up.

Could it be that he collapsed from exhaustion after staying up all night?

Or was it poison?

What must it feel like to know exactly how much time you have left?

To live with only six months left to breathe…

Mercian recalled how calmly Ruan had spoken of his death, and a strange feeling stirred inside her.

He never said it out loud, but he must value every day.

He’s so thin already… If he wastes away any further, will he even be able to walk properly?

Mercian looked at Ruan’s frail figure with a tender, pitying gaze.

After a moment, Merian fell asleep in his arms, calmed by the steady beat of Ruan’s heart, which sounded like a lullaby.

It was strange.

Ruan’s insomnia had worsened after the war and the curse; that much was certain—but in truth, it had been with him for a long time.

Since the age of five, after his parents died in a carriage accident, he had lived in constant fear that something might happen to his only family—his sister, Olivia. 

Even as a child, he would wake multiple times in the night just to check that he was still breathing.

In a way, insomnia had followed him through every stage of his life. 

It had become part of him. 

Even with sleeping pills, he never truly slept soundly.

He took them not for rest, but for the reassurance of not having to try so hard to sleep.

So why, then, whenever I’m beside my lady, do I sleep so soundly—without the nightmares that haunt me, without waking once?

At first, I thought it was a coincidence.

But what do I say now?

Ruan stared in disbelief at Mercian, who slept peacefully in his arms until eleven in the morning—something he never could have believed possible, especially for someone who, despite the sleeping pills, always woke sharp at five a.m.

“Could it be… that my lady is my real sleeping pill?”

“Hmm… steward, this soup is delicious.”

“You’re still dreaming about food, aren’t you? I’m curious—what’s the dish that makes you so happy when you eat it?”

“Lamb stew, mushroom soup, and a salad topped generously with yuzu sauce.”

Ruan watched Mercian smile as she answered, wondering if she had woken up.

“Wait, what? Did you just respond to my query while you were asleep? That’s kind of cheating. You’re just too adorable.”

It was strange.

He had never cared for women before—so why did this woman keep drawing his attention?

She was his wife for barely two days, and yet every time he looked at her, he found her cute and utterly lovable.

Leaning down, Ruan pressed a gentle kiss to Mercian’s forehead while she slept peacefully in his arms.

Then, softly, he laid her back down properly before rising and stepping out to call for Edward.

***

Wait—did I just sleep all morning?

Mercian opened her eyes and glanced at the clock. 

It was already past noon.

“Oh my, Lady, you’re awake?”

“Charles, where is Ruan?”

“The master already had a light breakfast and went to the palace. You were sleeping so peacefully; he told me not to wake you.”

“Is that so?”

He went to the palace… Does that mean he’s feeling better?

Was he just exhausted and collapsed from lack of sleep?

Mercian felt a flicker of worry for Ruan but shook it off quickly.

Don’t get involved. I agreed to be here for six months—just barely present.

“Shall I prepare your meal?”

At Charles’s question, hunger suddenly stirred in Mercian’s stomach.

“Yes. I want to eat on the terrace upstairs today.”

“Very well. I’ll prepare it.”

“And please summon Clea as well.”

“Right away, my lady.”

After Charles left, Mercian stood and stretched deeply.

Back in her room, she hurried to wash her face, then opened her wardrobe and pulled out a dress, laying it on the bed.

“Oh my, my lady, I can help you change.”

Mercian started getting dressed when Charles came back, and he was shocked to see that she was getting by on her own.

Mercian shrugged with a smile.

“No, it’s fine. Eventually, I’ll have to do it myself anyway.”

“Ah?”

“Well, anyway… I’m starving. Wow, what is all this?”

“Lamb stew, mushroom soup, and a salad topped generously with yuzu sauce.”

“Oh? Really? That’s strange… Why does this menu feel so familiar?”

Mercian looked at the food on the table and felt a sudden, odd sense of having already seen it.

Did I… dream about this?

No way, right? I’m not some kind of oracle. It’s not like I can dream about my breakfast ahead of time…

As Mercian sat down to eat, Charles smiled warmly.

“It seems the master cares for you, my lady.”

“What?”

“Yesterday morning and today, the master personally ordered your meals. And whenever he talks about you, there’s always a smile on his face.”

Ruan asked the steward to prepare this?

And he smiles when talking about her?

“Is that so?”

“Ma’am, you might not know this, but it’s really surprising to see Master like this now. Since the moment I met him until now, he has never shown any interest in food. No matter what the chef made, he always wore a face that said it tasted bad. Especially now, since he’s been ill…”

“Charles, enough with the nonsense. Why don’t you go take care of your duties?”

Just then, Clea entered the room. 

Charles immediately bowed his head and hurried out.

“Ma’am, did you sleep well? Was your bed comfortable?”

“Yes, thanks to everyone’s care, I slept peacefully. Please, have a seat.”

“No, ma’am, I’ll just stand and listen.”

Mercian watched Clea politely decline her offer to sit, and she opened her mouth to insist once more—but then gave up and continued.

“Clea, Ruan said there are no strict rules in the Duke family, but surely even a house like the Duke family has some kind of protocol, right? I know things are busy, but could you teach me a bit?”

Clea looked at her with a slightly different expression.