ILTDAMH| CHAPTER 01

Chapter 01

 The Terminally Ill Duke (01)

“What… what are you telling me to do right now?”

As always, Merciann had sneaked a pie from the kitchen and was spending time in her secret spot, up in the tree in the garden. 

But at her mother Penelope’s sudden words, she was so frightened that Mercián dropped her snack. 

Penelope frowned as she watched the pie fall at her feet.

“Ugh, honestly, I gave birth to you, but how can you love eating so much? That’s why you keep gaining weight. Look at your sister, Lucy. When she has free time, she reads books or does embroidery, but all you do is eat. There’s not a single thing about you that I like. Tsk!”

Merciann’s face stiffened for a moment at Penelope’s words, but she quickly pretended not to care, picked up another snack in front of her, and took a bite.

“Mom, that’s not the point right now. What are you telling me to do? Marriage? What do you mean, marriage all of a sudden?”

“Merci, stop eating and come down from that tree. It hurts my neck to talk while looking up at you. But really, it’s strange… how do you manage to climb trees so well with that body of yours?”

Merciann frowned at Penelope’s words as she muttered while looking her up and down.

I’m indeed a little chubbier than Lucianne, but my body isn’t something to be criticised like this…

They came from the same womb, yet how could they be so different?

Penelope looked at Merciann with disapproval, completely different from how she adored Lucianne, who had been beautiful since birth, someone Penelope would love no matter what. 

From head to toe, Merciann didn’t resemble Penelope at all.

“Have you ever heard the name Luan Canoluf?”

“Luan Canoluf? You can’t possibly mean Duke Luan Canoluf, known as the king of War, right?”

At Merciann’s response, Penelope looked at her with genuine surprise and spoke.

“I thought all you cared about was eating, but I guess that’s not entirely true.”

“Mom!”

“Anyway, that duke recently returned from the war seriously injured,” Penelope said.

Merciann, showing no real interest, rummaged through her snack basket and replied,

                        “So what?”

“You know very well, don’t you? How the Crown Prince sees that duke as a thorn in his side. Especially since Duke Canoluf is on the side of the First Prince, Prince Harmon.”

“Mom, just get to the point. I’m not sitting here to hear the full story of the Empire’s power struggles.”

“Fine, anyway, the duke was given six months to live.”

Six months to live?

“And what does that have to do with my marriage? Don’t tell me… Mom!”

Merciann stared at her mother, shocked at the implication, while Penelope calmly continued, as if trying to soothe her.

“Merci, calm down and listen to me. You’ve turned 20 now, it’s about time you thought about marriage. Besides, our family—we’re a fallen viscount family. Ever since your father’s accident, our estate has been steadily shrinking. Honestly, even buying Lucy a new dress is a burden these days. And don’t forget, there’s the royal ball at the palace in two months.”

What does my marriage have to do with the royal ball in two months?

Merciann looked at Penelope, confused, and asked,

“Mom, what does my getting married now have to do with the ball at the palace two months from now?”

“Merci, look at yourself—you know it won’t be easy for you to marry well. I’ve looked into it. Because the duke only has six months to live, he’s offering a tremendous dowry to anyone who marries him. Of course, it’s only for six months—the limited position of the duchess—but after the duke dies, if you inherit anything, it would help you live comfortably for the rest of your life.”

Help? Becoming a widow and living alone… 

How is that any help to me?

“Mom, if you’re thinking like that, wouldn’t it make more sense for Lucy, who’s two years older than I, to get married instead? And like you said, the title of duke is one of the highest in the Empire. If Lucy doesn’t plan to connect with the Crown Prince at the ball, wouldn’t it be better for her to marry a duke with a guaranteed title? Like you said, after the duke dies, if Lucy gets a large inheritance, it would help her live comfortably for the rest of her life.”

At Merciann’s words, Penelope exploded with anger and shouted.

“Merci, how can you say such nonsense? Do you want your sister to become a widow?”

Nonsense? So it’s fine if I become a widow, but not Lucy?

Merciann clenched her fists in anger as she looked at Penelope, who always only cared about Lucianne.

It had always been like this, ever since they were children.

The good things always went to Lucianne. 

Even the basic etiquette lessons or dance classes that noble girls were supposed to have were given only to Lucianne, with the excuse that the family couldn’t afford it.

Merciann had to learn reading, manners, and everything else by secretly watching Lucianne do her homework or practice etiquette, practically teaching herself.

Perhaps the reason Merciann became so obsessed with food was simply because eating was the one thing Lucianne had no interest in.

At least, when it came to eating, neither Penelope nor Lucianne had anything to say to her.

“So, you’re saying it’s okay for me to be a widow? It’s not okay for my sister, but it’s perfectly fine for me?”

Seeing Merciann’s voice tremble with emotion, Penelope gently grabbed her hand and spoke softly.

“Merci, don’t get upset. Just listen to me carefully. I’ve looked into it, and the marriage terms aren’t that bad. Yes, you’ll be the duchess for only six months because of his illness, but they’ll pay a dowry of 500 gold coins as soon as you marry, and as long as the marriage lasts, you’ll receive 100 gold coins every month. It’s a worthwhile deal for you and for our family, don’t you think?

Of course… if by any chance you have the duke’s child, you could stay as duchess for life. 

You know better than anyone that with your situation, you’ll never find a marriage that offers this much. 

Would you rather wait, end up unable to marry, and be forced to become the second wife of some old, rich noble? Isn’t this better than that?”

Six months? So if she didn’t have a child before the duke died, she’d be kicked out of the ducal house? And now her mother was threatening her—either marry the duke or be sent off as some old noble’s second wife?

Merciann stared at Penelope in disbelief.

“Mom… Am I your biological daughter?”

Penelope sighed.

“As much as I hate to admit it… Yes, you’re my biological daughter. That’s why I’m asking you this one favour. It’s not a bad deal for you, I promise. And with that dowry, I can buy Lucy new dresses and accessories too. It’ll be good for everyone, don’t you agree?”

So in the end, Mom is selling me off to the Duke’s family just to buy Lucy a new dress!

Am I nothing to her?

Merciann let out a small sigh as she looked at Penelope, who only ever obsessed over Lucianne despite both of them being her daughters.

Penelope had been born the daughter of a count, but because she was an illegitimate child, she could only marry into the lower-ranking Beano Viscount family. 

With all her frustration, she poured everything into one goal—making sure Lucianne married into a prestigious noble family.

As a child, Merciann had often wondered if she was also an illegitimate child, seeing how differently Penelope treated her compared to Lucianne.

 If that were true, at least the constant discrimination might have made more sense.

Merciann had always longed for her mother’s love. 

She did everything she could to earn even a small warm look from Penelope, but no matter how hard she tried, Penelope never once looked at her with affection—in fact, she barely looked at her at all.

At least when her father, Charles, was alive, Penelope had to restrain herself from openly favouring Lucianne because Charles hated such discrimination. 

But after Charles died in an accident, Penelope stopped hiding her attitude and openly ignored Merciann.

Over the years, after countless failed efforts to earn her mother’s love, Merciann gave up.

 Instead, she focused all her hopes on turning 20—the age of adulthood.

According to the laws of the Empire of Omankurt, once someone turned 20, whether they were an ordinary person or a noble, they could legally live independently, even without marriage.

Of course, unlike the ordinary, no noblewoman had ever actually left her wealthy family to live on her own. 

But after hearing from Charles long ago that it was legally possible, Merciann had been counting the days until she turned 20 and could finally escape.

But now… marriage? To a man who won’t even live six more months?

Once again, Merciann felt disappointed and hurt by Penelope, who didn’t even see her as a daughter. 

But this time, she didn’t even feel angry—just bitter and heartbroken.

“Merci, don’t hate your mother too much.”

She remembered her father’s words. “Your mother… She’s a pitiful person. Growing up as an illegitimate child, she was hurt deeply, which is why she clings to Lucy like that. But you, you have me, don’t you? Don’t worry, when you turn 20, I’ll make sure you can live your life freely.”

Merciann remembered her father, Charles, and the words he had told her before he passed away, whispering to herself in her mind.

“Dad, the land you prepared for me so I could be independent… Mom sold it a few days ago to buy Lucy a dress. If I try to leave this house now, both Mom and Lucy will say no. Especially Lucy… she’ll never let me go. The easiest way for me to leave this family now… is to marry the Duke, isn’t it? Whatever the reason, the real reason Mom wants me to marry him isn’t for my happiness. It’s for the dowry and the monthly money the Duke’s family promised. But if I only have to live like that for six months… once the Duke dies, I’ll finally be free, won’t I?”

Merciann stared at Penelope for a long time, watching her talk excitedly, as if this marriage was the best opportunity ever. 

After thinking it over, Merciann made up her mind, looked straight at Penelope, and spoke.

“Do you want me to marry that duke?”

“Of course, Merci! Even if it’s only for six months, you’ll still be a duchess! And if you have the Duke’s child, you’ll become a real Duchess for life. Isn’t that such a great opportunity for you?”

Raising a child alone after the father dies… And that’s supposed to be a good thing?

Merciann gave a bitter smile and replied,

“Sigh… Fine. If you want it that badly, I’ll marry him. But I have one condition.”

“Condition? What condition? Don’t tell me you want the dowry for yourself.”

“You can have the dowry, Mom. That’s not what I want. After I marry the Duke… if six months pass and I don’t have his child and he dies… You stay out of my life. No matter what I do or where I go, you won’t interfere.”

As Merciann finished speaking, she realised her heart was trembling.

Of course, she dreamed of leaving the capital, finding a small house in a quiet village, growing a vegetable garden, and raising a few animals.

But deep down… a small part of her hoped that Penelope would stop her with anger.

She hoped her mother would say, “Where do you think you’re going all alone? You lost your husband, so come back and live with your mother.”

If she could just hear those words once… Merciann felt like she could forget all the hurt and resentment Penelope had caused her all these years.