Chapter 3: The Way to Avoid the Death Route
2021.11.09
Until now, Ascan had maintained a poker face, but suddenly it crumpled. This time, the shift in his emotions was so obvious that anyone could notice it. Even without words, it was clear he was displeased by my kindness. He moved his lips slightly and let out a small sigh.
“…Haa.”
It was such a quiet breath that you could miss it if you weren’t paying attention. Yet he didn’t utter any words of refusal. In a way, that was only natural. No matter what his true feelings were, I was a noble young lady, and he was a lowly slave.
“Hmm-hmm.”
Feeling awkward, I cleared my throat. Seeing his emotions so plainly made me a little guilty for using my authority on him, but if I wanted him by my side, this was the only way.
‘I see… that’s why he’s like that.’
Ascan looked at me as if to wonder what scheme I was up to this time, but I straightened my shoulders confidently and pointed toward the room he had been staying in.
“Anyway, pack your things and come out. I’ve decided to move your quarters inside the mansion.”
“…Understood.”
In an instant, Ascan returned to his usual expressionless self. Without a word, he went into his room to gather his things. A short while later, he emerged holding a very small bundle. It was so minimal that I doubted it even contained a single set of clothes.
“Is that all?”
“Yes.”
Seeing that made my mouth feel oddly bitter, as if I had chewed sand. I knew from “The Beloved Saintess” novel just how painfully Ascan had survived. He had been nothing more than an experimental subject to others. He had suffered unimaginable pain without even a single painkiller. Everyone’s attention was only on the results of the human weapon experiments. No one cared about the boy undergoing those experiments. From a young age, that was all he knew: the cold walls of the laboratory, without a single person to care for him.
So, when he later grew strong and wished for the world to be destroyed, I thought that if I had grown up like him, I might have felt the same. Seeing Ascan’s childhood firsthand, which I had only read about in the novel, made my heart ache. The tiny bundle in his hands seemed to symbolize his indifference to everything.
“Are you joking? What are you going to do when winter comes with just that?”
For some reason, I couldn’t leave him like that.
“…Excuse me?”
“This won’t do. Let’s buy you proper clothes right away.”
Of course, there was a little selfish desire to make a good impression on him.
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll refuse your refusal. Like I said earlier, I plan to treat you really well.”
Ascan’s expression shifted slightly. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but one thing was clear: he was still wary of me. I didn’t care. From what I knew, no one disliked receiving gifts.
“Follow me.”
I led the way, then glanced back. I saw the butler I had called to discuss room arrangements trailing behind at a distance from Ascan.
“The butler will carry Ascan’s things.”
“Eh? Me?”
“Do you need me to say it twice?”
“Oh, no, my lady.”
The butler, looking confused, took Ascan’s light bundle. Ascan gave me a peculiar look, but I turned my head forward and quickened my pace. From now on, I would show him through actions rather than words.
Back in my room with Ascan, I announced to the maids:
“From today onward, Ascan is my apprentice. He will accompany me in everything, so everyone take note.”
The maids’ expressions varied, but they all shared one emotion: pity for Ascan. They looked at him with sympathy and seemed curious about what I might do to trouble him this time.
‘How do people even see me these days?’
As far as I knew, Tanasia had been timid as a child. But based on the reactions of others and stories of her whipping Ascan, she already seemed to have a strong streak of villainy. Shaking my head, I spoke to the maids again.
“Where’s the tailor I called?”
“He just arrived, my lady.”
“Send him in.”
The tailor entered the room. I motioned him to stop approaching me and pointed to Ascan.
“Measure him, not me—my apprentice.”
“Ah, yes, of course.”
The tailor looked briefly surprised but approached Ascan without hesitation to begin taking measurements. Ascan seemed awkward, but his expressionless face made it impossible to tell what he was thinking. I chose fabrics for his custom clothes and also purchased several ready-made men’s outfits as samples. Shopping was always fun, whether for myself or others.
Time passed like flowing water, and finally, I had Ascan try on a temporary sample outfit. As the fitting room door slid open, everyone’s eyes widened.
“Wow─”
Someone gasped in admiration. In his refined attire, Ascan looked so elegant that he could easily pass as a noble, far from the disheveled boy from moments ago. I had thought he was a handsome youth even in simple clothes, but now he looked beyond mere attractiveness. Everyone, including the maids and even the tailor, was taken aback by his transformation.
“It’s as if the clothes have found their owner.”
“Exactly. The investment was worth it.”
I smiled in satisfaction and signed to purchase all the outfits. Ascan stood there like a doll being played with, expressionless but dazzling in a new way.
“Move the rest of his clothes to his room.”
“Yes, my lady.”
The maids carried out the clothes I had bought for him. I instructed the butler to prepare a room as close as possible to mine, though it still wasn’t very near. I looked at Ascan, who stood like a mannequin in the dressing room, staring at me.
“Aren’t you getting hungry?”
It was natural to feel hungry after shopping. I led Ascan to the dining hall. Some watched us curiously, but most seemed to accept it, likely having heard rumors that I had made him my apprentice. The meal came as usual, served in courses. From appetizers to countless dishes, plates appeared and disappeared from the table.
Ascan didn’t show it, but his awkward handling of the fork and knife revealed that he was unfamiliar with such food. Understandable—he had been experimented on in the Kalua Empire as a child and suffered as a slave here. He had never had the chance to eat like this. I cut my steak into bite-sized pieces and offered some to him.
“Start with this today. Practice later if you need to. From now on, you’ll have to get used to eating with me.”
“Yes.”
He accepted the plate silently. I had half-expected him to refuse, but it was unnecessary worry. He didn’t even say thank you, acting more like a slave obediently following orders.
‘He’s already this emotionally closed off… what will he be like if he’s ever captured in a lab again?’
He seemed accustomed to suppressing his emotions, and imagining it getting worse was unsettling. I watched him quietly before returning to my meal. I didn’t expect him to open up easily. I planned to steadily show him kindness. Fortunately, it wasn’t difficult for me—being kind to someone meant sharing what I enjoyed with them. Essentially, I just had to involve him in the things I liked.
I suddenly thought of something and spoke to Ascan:
“I’ve heard our family has many villas. Shall we visit one sometime?”
“You mean, I would accompany you?”
“Yes. Sea or mountains, whatever you want.”
“I don’t have a particular preference…”
“Well, no need to decide then. We’ll just go together.”
“….”
“Do you know how to swim? If not, I’ll teach you. It’s not difficult.”
I thought I saw a tiny crack appear in his expressionless face. My words seemed completely unexpected. I smiled at the slightly flustered boy.
“Why so surprised? Life is about enjoying it. It’s not that complicated.”
After experiencing death once, I felt even more keenly that surviving this life was my goal—but that didn’t mean I had to waste it unhappily. Now that I had possessed the character of a wealthy noble, I might as well enjoy it.
“You may not know what it means to enjoy life. Don’t worry—I’ll teach you.”
It wasn’t difficult. Live on wealth enough to last a lifetime, eat what you want, play as you wish. I’d live as I wanted and gain his favor in the process—a win-win.
“Well, everyone has their own tastes. Just because I like something doesn’t mean you have to. But if you don’t say anything, I won’t know. So from now on, if you dislike something, say it.”
Ascan’s golden eyes darkened slightly.
“How could I possibly say such a thing?”
For some reason, it sounded sarcastic. Having been whipped and beaten by me in the past, it was probably hard for him to believe I had suddenly changed. But I was sincere.
“Whether you trust me or not is your choice. You can watch my actions and judge. Either way, you won’t lose out.”
He said nothing, but I didn’t mind. Perhaps I was simply getting used to his silence. In truth, I didn’t need his permission to show him affection. Since I didn’t know what he liked, I could only push forward my way. Watching Ascan finish most of his meal, I spoke again.
“Shall we take a walk to help digest?”
Outside, the sun had set, and the garden was dark, illuminated by the mansion’s lights. Not truly dark, but the view wasn’t what I sought.
“Hmm, maybe a bit further in…”
Muttering to myself, I walked toward a distant part of the garden. Ascan followed silently. I had no intention of treating him as a slave, but he seemed to interpret my invitation as a command. I didn’t like the situation, but there was nothing to be done.
As we ventured deeper into the darkened garden, Ascan’s voice broke the silence.
“How far are we going?”
“We’re here. Oh, that’ll do.”
I pointed to a chair in the garden, shaped like a sunbed, perfect for leaning back.
“Why here…?”
Ignoring his wary gaze, I sat down and looked up at the stars densely scattered across the night sky. Although simple, nights spent stargazing were rare. I patted the empty spot beside me.
“What are you doing? Sit here.”
He looked at me like he didn’t understand but silently sat beside me. Upright and staring forward, he looked so serious it made me laugh.
“I said sit, not stare. Look at the night sky—it’s beautiful.”
Finally, his gaze lifted to the stars. His eyes, previously so indifferent, widened. For the first time, Ascan looked like a boy his age. I returned my gaze to the endless night sky. People often feel moved by seemingly trivial things. The night sky had that effect on me.
“Have you ever looked at the stars like this?”
“…No.”
“Then today is your first time?”
“Yes.”
I was surprised but reflecting on his past, it made sense.
“I’m glad I brought you. If you want to see it again, we can. Stars don’t show well in bright places. You have to be in the dark to see them clearly.”
“Why?”
“Well, that’s just how stars are. They shine only in the darkness.”
He didn’t respond, but I could tell he was looking up anyway.
“Beautiful, right?”
“…Yes.”
“I’ll teach you lots of good things. I said I’d show you what it means to enjoy life.”
He turned his gaze from the stars to me. His golden eyes, deep as an abyss, gleamed with complex light. I smiled back at him.
“From now on, let’s have fun together.”
And don’t forget to save my life in the future. Yet, contrary to my expectations, his eyes darkened. The expression of boyish relaxation had returned to its usual guardedness. I was puzzled when he spoke in a low, calm voice:
“You’ve changed your approach?”
“Approach?”
“Don’t pretend not to understand. No matter how sweetly you coax, I truly know nothing.”
“No, that’s not what I meant…”
In the dream I’d seen, the original Tanasia wanted to study Ascan’s ancient language and magic formulas to gain water manipulation powers—but that had nothing to do with me.
‘How do I explain this?’
Ascan continued:
“You asked me to tell you how to take Noxia Lady’s abilities.”
“That’s…”
“And if that didn’t work, you said to eliminate Noxia Lady.”
“What… what?”
I was speechless. Had I really said that? I must have lost my mind! This was basically advertising my hatred for Noxia. I groaned, holding my head in frustration.
“Just treat me like usual—hit me, stomp on me. This… this is too awkward.”
Ascan rose smoothly and bowed to me.
“If permitted, I shall take my leave now.”
I had no words. But keeping him here wouldn’t change anything. I nodded reluctantly, and without looking back, Ascan walked toward the mansion. I could only watch his cold figure in dismay. The path to avoiding the death route seemed long and treacherous.
