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IHYWRM l CH 05

Chapter 05

Noctum’s funeral was held quickly. They said it was a carriage accident caused by a sudden burst of natural magic—nothing to investigate.

But people who hated Charlotte spread a rumor that, because of her “paranoia about being betrayed,” she caused that magic blast—like a natural disaster—and killed Noctum herself.

Most didn’t believe it, but those who met her at the funeral thought the rumor might be true.

Her devoted husband had died, yet she didn’t shed a single tear.

“An evil woman.”

“She’s truly mad.”

“Only the late grand duke is pitiful.”

“Why does His Majesty let a woman like her live?”

Colorful insults sounded behind her.

Charlotte ignored the nobles—who were more eager to curse her than to mourn Noctum—just as she always did, and kept her eyes on his coffin.

Her husband was lying there. Reality still hadn’t sunk in; she slowly blinked. The world felt frozen.

Noctum can’t be dead. He’s the male lead of this world. How could the hero of a happy-ending novel die?

Then why are you dead?


Why you, and not me?

Something cold ran down her cheek. Tears? Moisture soaked through her thin gloves, yet the skin around her eyes felt dry and tight.

She lowered her hand from her face and looked up. As if waiting for her gaze, hard rain began to pour.

While other nobles scrambled to get umbrellas from their maids, Charlotte stood still in the rain until her clothes clung to her and showed her outline.

She could hardly open her eyes in the downpour. Through the blur, she thought she saw a faint flutter of pale pink far away—an illusion.

When she wiped the rain from her face to see better, a large black umbrella blocked her view.

Adrian tilted the umbrella almost entirely over Charlotte and said calmly,

“His Majesty will arrive soon. As a brother—before an emperor—he says he’ll bury the coffin himself.”

“
”

“You’ve done enough in your role as his wife.”

The words “role as his wife” pierced her chest with cold. It really did feel like their marriage had been an act, not a life.

Ridiculously, regret washed over her now.

Before she could sort through that feeling, the emperor arrived.

Though he wasn’t even wet, his face was covered in tears.

He cried hard—so sadly that he tugged at everyone else’s tear ducts. Nobles standing behind them began to sniffle one by one.

As their soft sobs spread, Charlotte spoke to Noctum sleeping in the coffin.

“Maybe I really am a wicked woman, like they say, Noctum.”

“I can’t cry. Truly, not a single tear
”

They laid the coffin in dry ground they had prepared in advance, the priest finished the last prayer—and still Charlotte didn’t cry.

 

Perhaps because of Noctum’s sudden death, the trial they’d planned for Charlotte never happened.

Maybe it was because, with Noctum gone, Charlotte was the only one who could become head of the house.

There was no time to grieve. The grand duke’s household bustled—packing up the things he had used, and reorganizing everything now that Charlotte was the new lord.

The imperial palace repeatedly sent mages to collect Noctum’s secret research notes. After a week, the house looked as if it had never had a lord named “Noctum Afros.”

“The study has many things we couldn’t touch, Your Grace,” the butler said.

“
All right,” Charlotte answered softly, shoulders stiff at being called “Your Grace.” She turned the study’s door handle.

After about a week, the room felt stuffy with dust and stale air. She held back a cough and stepped inside.

Her body shook like a poplar in the wind as she walked. Her trembling hand brushed the dusty desk.

A white-feathered fountain pen—his taste exactly—caught on her little finger. She instinctively picked it up, then set it down, and moved around the desk to sit.

The chair, made to fit his body, was uncomfortable for her—armrests, back, even the seat were too high.

Letting her feet dangle, she opened a drawer. One side held his pens, seals, and confidential documents.

Nothing special. But the other drawer was the opposite.

“
This is
”

Inside was the ribbon he’d once overpaid for at the market after being fooled by a vendor.

There was also a brooch the color of her eyes, a necklace and earrings matching his favorite cufflinks, two pairs of rings—enough jewelry to start a shop.

In the next drawer were what looked like hundreds of letters.

Charlotte took one and opened it.

To my one and only love, Charlotte.
I know you won’t see this, but whenever I pick up my pen my heart stirs—just as always, Charlotte.
Still, today there’s something I must say first. My one and only love, Charlotte Daphsine Afros—happy birthday.

“Ah
”

A breath, half sigh, half awe slipped out.

She never imagined he’d been writing things like this.

She read on.

It’s your first birthday since we married, and I’m too excited to sleep, so I’m writing.
I planned to write after you saw the gift I prepared, but
 just for today, please forgive a two-page letter, Charlotte?
You’re always so considerate—I believe you’ll read this and smile kindly.

“Only you think I’m ‘kind,’ Noctum.”

When would he let go of that odd fixed idea about her?

Yet, just as he said, a soft smile tugged at her lips.

It’s our first birthday together since the wedding. I’m so looking forward to it.
The butler told me you refused a party, and told me not to feel hurt.
But do you know, Charlotte? I was glad you refused. Because then I could celebrate your birthday alone with you, without anyone in the way.
I prepared a present too. My skills are poor, but I wanted to cook your birthday dinner.
I hope you won’t frown when you taste my cake.
Should I pray to God right now?
But to me, you are my god, Charlotte—so if I pray, you might hear, and I’m afraid—so I’ll hold back. Just for today, please understand.

She couldn’t smile brightly.

“My lady, happy birthday! I prepared dinner—shall we spend it together?”

She remembered words he’d once said.

What had she answered then?

“You don’t have to fuss over things like this. I’d rather be alone on my birthday. Please leave, Your Grace.”

She hadn’t even faced him—just snapped in an annoyed voice. How much must that have hurt him?

I’ll hope to see you smile brightly after eating my cake and steak.
Lastly, thank you for spending your birthday by my side, Charlotte.
Imperial Year 844, November 11.
Blessings on the day when Heaven sent an angel to the world.
Your one and only love, Noctum Afros.

“Why
 why did you love me this much
”

Her breath caught; she couldn’t finish a sentence.

“Ah
 ah
”

A sound like a sob leaked out. She clapped a hand over her mouth, but now her whole body was shaking.

She was confused.

You didn’t have to love a villain like me this much.

There was no need to cling to a love you’d have to forget anyway.

You didn’t have to take my fated death onto yourself


As if to silence her protest, tears began pouring from her eyes.

Drops fell on the neat handwriting, blurring the ink.

The only thing to comfort her was the chair built for Noctum’s body. She curled into it as if into his arms.

She stayed like that and cried for a long time.

By the time she straightened, the sun was much lower than when she’d entered; the red light was fading.

Her face was still soaked with tears.

Instinctively, her hand picked up another letter. Instead of opening it at once, she held it for a long time, then set it down.

“I’ll do it like you did
”

Like you wrote one letter a day for three years, I’ll read one a day.

She wanted to share his pain—late, but still.

For Charlotte, it was both a belated regret and a harsh penance.

***

Imperial Year 845, March 23.

To my dear wife, Charlotte.

Today I saw you walking in the garden. I was afraid you’d notice me behind you, so without thinking I cast invisibility and followed. It reminded me of when we were young.

Were the camellias pretty? They’re your birth flower, so I planted them.

I hope that someday I can walk beside you and say this:

“I love you more than anyone.”

I dream of the day you hand me a single camellia.

Your husband, Noctum Afros.

 

Imperial Year 845, August 1.

To my strongest of all wives, Charlotte.

First, I’m sorry.

I heard you had a cold and slipped into your room to watch you sleep for a long time.

If only I were a more dependable husband.

Then you could lean on me.

It’s my fault you cannot trust me.

I’m sorry, Charlotte—
for being a husband who can do nothing,

for being a man who can’t share your pain.

Your husband, Noctum Afros.

 

Imperial Year 846, October 15.

To my eternal wife, Charlotte.

Do you really prefer the marquis?

He ranks below me, can’t use magic, speaks crudely, and is mired in scandal.

Do you know how filthy the things he’s involved in are?

Then why ride in a carriage with such a man?

I know—I know. You said you hate everything about me.

But my love, Charlotte—

From the moment I first saw you, I became a man who can’t live without you. With you, I live.

So in this matter I can only be selfish.

I love you. I love you, Charlotte.

Even if you don’t love me


I’m sorry, Charlotte—that I love you.

But I will never regret it.

So I won’t grant a divorce.

Your husband forever, Noctum Afros.

 

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I Hope You Won’t Remember Me!

I Hope You Won’t Remember Me!

부디 나넌 Ʞ얔하지 말아요
Score 9.8
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2022 Native Language: Korean

“Do I have to say it outright? I don’t like you.”

At age twelve, Charlotte Daphsine realized she had reincarnated as the cruel ex-wife of the novel’s male lead.

She struggled desperately to change her fate, but nothing in the story would bend. Eventually, she gave up.

And yet
 her husband began to beg for her love—desperate, pitifully so.

But Charlotte pushed him away without mercy.

“Why
 why do you hate me?”

Even when he looked at her with tear-filled eyes, more beautiful than any woman, she said coldly:

“I hate your long, flowing hair. I hate that your face is prettier than mine. I hate that you study magic instead of the sword, that you stay home because of it, and even that you’re kind by nature. I hate everything about you.”

“
If I changed all of that
 Charlotte, could you love me then?”

“No. Because it’s you, Noctum. Everything about you—I’ll always hate it.”

She cut off even his last thread of hope. After all, he was the destined male lead who would send Charlotte to the guillotine and live happily ever after with the heroine.

But then—

“Noctum
 is dead?”

He died.

Three years passed. For Charlotte, it was three years of endless regret. She wept over the letters he had left behind.

Until one day—

“Noctum
 is alive?”

Suddenly, she regressed—back to the time before their marriage.

But the man standing before her was strange.

“So it’s only because you’re a noble lady that you think you can wander into such a filthy place?”
“Enough of this behavior, Lady Charlotte.”

His personality, his presence—completely different.

Is he another Noctum Afros from a parallel world? Or is he truly her husband, changed beyond recognition?

“Did you really think you could escape me?”

Comment

    1. nonofiles says:

      No matter how many times I’ve read this, it still leaves me hurting. like experiencing multiple heartbreaks at once. Im literally broken for Noctum😭

      1. VKotaku28 says:

        I know
 but I love that this is fresh with FL regretting her behavior

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