Chapter 06
Two days passed much faster than she had expected.
Just packing the clothes she would need right away, gathering her personal belongings, and having meals with her parents filled all her time.
It took more effort than she thought to comfort her parents, whose hearts were tangled with worry and sadness.
They decided that if she needed anything else, Emma would send it later. So Maricel packed only light luggage and entered the Grand Duke’s estate.
“Then I shall see you tomorrow morning. Please rest well.”
Porle guided Maricel to her room and said that in the morning he would formally introduce her and show her the main facilities of the mansion.
“Thank you, Porle. And… if it’s alright, could you spare me some time this evening?”
“May I ask the reason?”
Porle asked politely.
“I would like to know a few things before meeting Young Master Fleur tomorrow. Ah! If any question is difficult to answer, you don’t have to.”
“In that case, I will give you some time after dinner.”
“If there is anything you know about Young Master Fleur, please tell me. Any stories, rumors—anything is fine.”
Porle hesitated. How much should he tell her? And could this person truly be trusted?
As his thoughts deepened, time passed, and the lines between his brows grew deeper.
He could simply say he didn’t know anything difficult to speak about. But he could not judge how that choice might affect Fleur.
The more he thought, the more it felt like wandering into a maze. So Porle stopped thinking and looked into Maricel’s eyes.
He decided to follow the advice of his father, the former head butler.
“When it is hard to judge someone, look into their eyes. Eyes struggle to lie.”
In Maricel’s eyes, he saw no hidden intention at all. They simply said, I would be grateful if you tell me, but it’s alright if you don’t.
Just then, as if she understood his concern, Maricel gave him a gentle smile to reassure him.
“If it burdens you, you don’t have to say anything. I have no intention of putting you in a difficult position… I just hope Young Master Fleur can escape his suffering as soon as possible.”
When she finished speaking, Porle seemed to make up his mind and slowly began.
“…Before Young Master Fleur was registered into the Grand Duke’s family, I heard he received strict heir education at the Marquis of Quiana’s household.”
“……”
“Lady Paisley—his mother—married the young Marquis of Quiana in a political marriage, at the request of the Marchioness of Quiana…”
Porle’s story matched the rumors that had spread.
The Marquis of Quiana agreed to the marriage on the condition that his son, Miles—Fleur’s father—would inherit the title, in exchange for the Grand Duke’s household forgiving the family’s debts.
Their marriage had not been smooth. Paisley longed for her husband’s love and attention but did not receive it. And the child, Fleur, suffered the consequences of that lack.
As Maricel returned to her room, she recalled everything Porle had told her.
While speaking, he had sunk into silence more than once, and his deep pity for Fleur had shown clearly.
She could see how he viewed the boy.
From someone who knew the history of the Grand Duke’s household better than anyone, there was something deeper behind his words.
She thought of Fleur again. At only six years old, he had gone through something no child should endure.
As someone who had experienced similar pain, Maricel understood. Yet she also did not.
In her previous life, she had lost her parents suddenly—after she was already an adult. Even then, it had been unbearable.
She had even wished to die with them. If only she could tear her own heart out, perhaps it would hurt less. But all her hands could grasp was skin and cloth.
That was when she learned what it meant for her chest to ache.
The unprepared death of someone you love is cruel and merciless to the one left behind.
Every day was pain. Whenever something reminded her of them, her longing swallowed even her tears.
Everything paused. It felt as though life returned from existence to nothingness.
Alive, yet as if dead.
If it was that painful for an adult, what must it have been like for young Fleur, who had lost the parents who were his entire world?
Her chest felt heavy.
Maricel had chosen to become a nanny for her own survival. But thinking about the desperate reality of one small child, her pity grew even stronger than her own concerns.
She once heard someone say that self-pity is a rusted emotion.
Like iron left wet will rust, a life left soaked in past sorrow will corrode from within.
Since then, she had been careful with the word pity.
But now was the time for it.
Without compassion for a person, how could one understand their heart?
Fleur likely could not even feel sadness right now. All the painful memories were probably buried deep in the dark depths of his unconscious mind.
As long as he did not face them, he could somehow continue living—for a while.
It was likely an unconscious choice to survive. But the longer such pain was left unattended, the more life would creak and crack. In the worst case, it would break.
When people bury pain, they often bury the entire situation with it.
And when that buried past is uncovered, strangely, the capable present self disappears—and one becomes the powerless self from that painful day.
So the exact same pain is experienced again.
That is why people unconsciously avoid facing past suffering.
Maricel had experienced this strange phenomenon many times in her previous life, directly and indirectly.
But she also knew—
It was only a trick of the unconscious mind.
At times like this, having someone beside you who supports and encourages you gives the courage to face it. It prevents your present self from disappearing.
Maricel wanted to play that role for Fleur.
So that he could face his past pain and walk toward the future.
Whether child or adult, there is nothing better than maintaining a peaceful daily life and building many good memories and experiences to gather the strength to face pain.
Maricel decided that first, she would give Fleur a calm routine and many warm memories.
And so, for a child who was alive yet like the dead, she carefully brought out the compassion she once hesitated to use.
First-floor central hall.
“From today onward, this is Lady Maricel Manua of the Viscount Manua family. She will be serving as Young Master Fleur’s nanny.”
After Porle briefly introduced her, Maricel stepped forward before the servants.
“Nice to meet you all. Please feel free to call me Nanny Maricel.”
As soon as the introduction ended, small whispers spread here and there.
“She’s pretty.”
“What’s the point of that?”
“I hope this nanny is different.”
“…As long as she doesn’t flirt with His Grace and cause trouble.”
“How long will she last this time?”
“I just hope she’s not strange like the previous one.”
“But doesn’t she feel a little different?”
“Hmm? Really? I’m not sure…”
That was roughly what she heard when she listened carefully.
Maricel smiled lightly and continued.
“It sounds like I may have quite a heavy responsibility on my shoulders.”
The group that had been whispering fell silent at once.
“I think I understand what you’re worried about. It must mean you love the Grand Duke’s household and care deeply for Young Master Fleur.”
Then she slowly looked over all of them.
“I feel the same way. I will care for him sincerely and with all my heart. So please, work together with me.”
She bowed her head slightly and signaled to Porle that she had finished.
“I hope you will assist Nanny Maricel and serve the Young Master faithfully. As members of the Grand Duke’s household. That concludes the introduction. Return to your duties.”
As soon as Porle finished speaking, everyone quickly returned to their positions as if they had been waiting for the signal.
Maricel followed Porle toward Fleur’s room.
Fleur’s room was the second room to the left from the center of the second floor.
On the right side, the second and third rooms were Morgan’s office and bedroom.
Fortunately, Maricel’s room was next to Fleur’s.
“For your reference, His Grace dislikes being disturbed while working.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. And thank you.”
When Porle had gone down the stairs and was nearly out of sight, Maricel knocked on Fleur’s door.
Knock— knock—
“Young Master Fleur, I will come in for a moment.”
“Young Master Fleur…?”
After stepping inside and walking a few steps, the heavy silence made the sound of her heels echo as if she were in a cave, not a room.
The echo bothered her, so she lifted her heels slightly and walked as quietly as possible.
“Your Highness… My name is Maricel. I will be serving you from now on…”
She spoke gently so she would not startle him, searching for where the child might be.
Not on the bed. Not behind the sofa either.
This room is far too large for a child.
The large space must have made him feel even lonelier and more anxious. The thought made her frown.
According to the butler, Fleur avoided people. Especially adult men—he was extremely afraid of them.
It was likely part of the trauma related to the accident.
Meals were placed on the table by a maid, and Fleur would eat a little when he felt hungry.
Bathing or changing clothes had only been done almost by force when a new nanny arrived.
After that, Fleur avoided people even more. So after the last nanny was dismissed, forcing him was forbidden. They were only ordered to make sure he ate.
The more Maricel walked through this place that could hardly be called a child’s room, the more her heart ached.
