Chapter 24
24. The First Kiss
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When we returned to the tea party venue, His Majesty Aleksanteri wore his usual composed expression, with not a trace of tears. If the shoulder of my dress hadn’t been slightly damp, no one would have ever believed he had cried at all.
After the tea party ended, His Majesty Aleksanteri escorted me back to the Imperial Palace. Once in my chambers, I changed clothes and reflected on the day’s events.
The person His Majesty Aleksanteri had cherished all this time was the girl from my dreams—Cecile.
When Cecile was sixteen, she had met a boy whom she named Garnet. That boy had been His Majesty Aleksanteri at the age of six. He had loved Cecile dearly, but before his eyes, Cecile sacrificed herself to protect him and died. The despair he suffered from that loss was so deep that he never married, living only to fulfill his duty as emperor.
And then, by chance, he obtained a handkerchief I had embroidered with the same blue vine motif Cecile once made. That gave him hope—that Cecile might have been reborn.
Honestly speaking, for me it had only ever been dreams. I didn’t strongly feel that I was Cecile. In the dreams I was Cecile, but upon waking, I always knew myself as Lacy Deanne. Our only real resemblance was our similar features.
Because I had dreamed of her since childhood, I picked up sewing and embroidery, and even lace-making, under her influence. But none of that proved that I was Cecile reborn.
Even so, His Majesty Aleksanteri said it didn’t matter.
He said I had become his hope to live.
He buried his face against my shoulder and wept. From what I had heard, he hadn’t been able to cry even after losing Cecile at six years old. Perhaps those were his first tears.
“I am not… Cecile, am I?”
I am Lacy Deanne.
I am not Cecile.
And yet, would that truly not matter to His Majesty Aleksanteri?
I felt as though I wanted to ask him.
That day I spent entirely with him.
After the tea party he had apparently returned to his chambers to work, but we dined together in the evening.
After dinner, I was summoned to his room.
Perhaps… just perhaps…
This might be the moment when I would be expected to fulfill my duty as a potential bride.
Determined, I had my maid scrub me carefully in the bath, then put on the simplest yet most elegant dress I had, and went to His Majesty Aleksanteri’s chambers.
He invited me inside and seated me on the sofa.
“I simply wanted to spend time with you, Lacy. I’m sorry for startling you earlier today. It must have been difficult, being told such things so suddenly.”
“No… it’s just that, I am Lacy Deanne, not Cecile.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Just having Cecile’s memories makes you precious. And above all, ever since you began living with me, each of my days has been full of joy. Even if you are not Cecile, I cherish you as Lacy.”
He pulled me close, holding me against his broad chest.
At times like these, how was a woman supposed to respond? Especially when the other person was the Emperor himself. Simply leaving everything to him somehow didn’t feel right.
“Uh… Your Majesty Aleksanteri.”
“What is it, Lacy?”
“What… should I do…?”
As a noble lady, I hadn’t been completely uneducated in matters of intimacy. But what I had been taught was vague: a woman should entrust herself to the man, and cooperate with his wishes.
Flustered and blushing furiously, I stammered my question. His Majesty Aleksanteri covered his face with one hand.
“Lacy, I may have given you the wrong impression. You are very attractive to me, and yes, I do desire that kind of closeness. But we are betrothed now. Until we are married, you needn’t worry about such things.”
“I—I see…”
Ahhh!
So embarrassing!
I had completely misunderstood, assuming he’d summoned me to take me to his bed. But of course, His Majesty was kind, gentlemanly, and composed. He would never engage in premarital relations.
Yes—that’s right. His Majesty was still the same sweet Garnet. Garnet would never do such a thing.
As my thoughts spiraled into confusion, His Majesty poured wine into a glass for me. After a few sips, I felt calmer.
“I only wanted to talk tonight, Lacy. Please tell me honestly—what do you think of me?”
“I… I hold you in the deepest respect.”
“Is that all?”
Though it was true, respect and admiration clearly weren’t enough for him. His brows lowered as he asked, and my heart clenched.
How adorable he looked.
With his refined, beautiful features, tall frame, and powerful build, one might expect him to be intimidating. But knowing that he was once my little Garnet made him irresistibly endearing.
What was I to do with this overwhelming urge to embrace him?
“Your Majesty, you are unfair.”
“Am I unfair?”
“Yes, with such an adorable expression.”
“Adorable? You find me so?”
“Garnet was tiny and soft, so very cute. And though Your Majesty is now tall, strong, and handsome beyond words… somehow, you are still adorable.”
The wine was delicious, and before I knew it, I had emptied my glass. I must have been tipsy, for my words were spilling out uncontrollably.
“I think you are cuter, Lacy.”
“No, Your Majesty is cuter!”
I declared passionately, and he chuckled.
“I am no longer that six-year-old child.”
“And today, I turned nineteen.”
“Ah, yes. Today was your birthday. Happy birthday, Lacy.”
“Thank you.”
The conversation grew more and more free-flowing.
“Your Majesty is too handsome! Your face is too beautiful, your height too tall, your body too strong… and yet at times your expressions are so sweetly innocent, I don’t know what to do with myself!”
“So that is truly how you feel about me, Lacy?”
“I was shocked to learn you were Garnet. I had imagined Garnet growing up small and slender, still shorter than me, bashfully inviting some lovely girl to dance…”
“The only one I ever wish to invite to dance is you, Lacy.”
“And now you even speak such sweet words!”
How that dear little Garnet had grown into such a splendid man.
As I sat overwhelmed with emotion, His Majesty whispered:
“Lacy, may I kiss you?”
“A kiss? Go right ahead!”
By then, I hardly knew what I was saying.
I had already steeled myself for the idea of giving my body to him. What difference could one or two kisses make?
Thumping my chest, I declared boldly. His Majesty smiled softly, placed his hand on my cheek, and leaned close.
As his eyes closed, his long silver lashes cast shadows against his cheeks.
Then his lips touched mine.
A kiss.
Yes, this was a kiss…
“A… a kiss!?”
The instant his lips left mine, reality struck me.
I had kissed His Majesty Aleksanteri!
Blood rushed to my head, my cheeks burning hotter than fire.
“Lacy, let me escort you back to your room.”
“Y-yes!”
He helped me to my feet from the sofa, steadying my wine-weakened steps, and guided me back to my chambers.
Once inside my bedroom, I pressed my hands to my feverish cheeks.
My nineteenth birthday.
Surely, I would never forget this day for as long as I lived.
