IBWMD 119

~Chapter 119~

At my question, Jeremy turned his head as if he hadn’t heard, staying silent.

That silence was the same as agreement.

I walked straight to the couple’s bedroom and opened the door.

Creak.

“Milady. If anything happens…”

“Don’t worry.”

I answered Beth, who whispered through the door crack.

Jeremy, standing behind her, looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“Grand Duchess, as I already said, His Grace the Grand Duke is…”

“I know.”

I cut him off and closed the half-open door.

Thud.

The room fell silent.

“Haa…”

‘The head maid must’ve tried her best.’

The couple’s bedroom, which I entered for the first time, was decorated more romantically than expected.
Bright flowers and light scents filled the antique-styled room.

‘They even prepared for the wedding night, I guess.’

Earlier, I had been too embarrassed to enter, but now I didn’t feel anything at all.

The Grand Duke’s own room across the hall was empty for “security inspections” after the assassination attempt.

‘And yet they moved him right next door into the couple’s bedroom. Ridiculous.’

Yes. The Grand Duke was here, in this massive chamber bigger than both rooms combined.

I turned my eyes. A huge bed stood there, covered with heavy curtains.
A shadow lay within.

Step. Step.

As I approached, his chest rose and fell deeply.
The scent of medicine and herbs filled the air.

‘This reminds me of the first time I met him… when he returned injured.’

Srrk.

My hand reached out and lifted the curtain.

“…You’re joking, right?”

I muttered, staring at the bed.

The Grand Duke had sat up—wearing the dragon-head mask again.

I was sure it had been broken.

‘What, he had a spare hideous thing like that?’

“Are you kidding me?”

Even as I said it, I waited unconsciously for his reply.

Some snide comment about me running away on our wedding night, or a jibe about eloping with the monster hunter I liked.

“……”

But no reply came.

Instead, the mask turned slowly toward me.

I plopped down on the stool in front of the bed, legs spread carelessly.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

The mask shook slightly.

I could hear lips parting and closing inside, see his bare chest rising and falling.

Wait. Why was his chest bare when his injury wasn’t even there?

‘Trying to distract me, huh?’

I narrowed my eyes.

Then a low, heavy voice leaked out.

“Elaine.”

“……”

“I…”

Thump.

I slapped my hand over the mask’s mouth.

His hand lifted, as if to push mine away, but stopped in the air above it. His fingertips trembled faintly.

I stared at that hand and said:

“Actually, I also have something to say.”

“……”

“I’ve been thinking a lot.”

To say I wasn’t angry would be a lie.
I had been furious.

‘I only held it back because of the situation.’

Holding it back made me realize maybe I’d grown up a little.
But upset was still upset.

‘Had he been making a fool of me all this time?’

While I suffered like a main character in some trashy affair drama, he just toyed with me?

I’d even considered shouting this marriage null and running away with Reyna back to the capital.

‘Why not? It’s not even my fault.’

Even the Emperor and my father would have to admit that.
Father might even storm here with a weapon to punish the “conman.”

‘But then again… when I think about it.’

I remembered his words:

‘There’s something I haven’t told you… Please don’t be angry and listen.’
‘Your husband is actually…’
‘I am your rightful…’

It wasn’t like he never tried to tell me.
The timing was always wrong, but he did try.

And even if he didn’t say it directly—

‘He dropped enough hints it was strange I never caught on.’

So many hints.

The strange familiarity when I first met him.
The way he treated me so much like Karl.

‘…You like Karl, don’t you?’
“No. Actually, maybe not as much as I thought.”
‘But you said you did. Has your love already changed?’

Back then, I thought he was a weirdo with some strange hobby of enjoying his wife being stolen.
But no—he was just honestly happy because he thought I had confessed to him.

And in truth, he had already confessed to me, hadn’t he?

‘I like you, Elaine.’
‘I like you.’
‘I like you so much.’

Not once, but many times.

‘So why didn’t I notice?’

Maybe because I drew a line myself.
Because I wore men’s clothes, everyone—including me—refused to imagine other possibilities.

Now that I thought of it, it was ridiculous.

He hadn’t hidden it out of malice.
He just… didn’t want me to reject this side of him.

‘I told you, didn’t I? I’d try to make you like this side of me too.’

He knew I didn’t care much for the Grand Duke’s image.
Maybe he himself disliked it as well—the heavy obligations, the endless rumors, the possibility he could even kill his partner.

And I… I understood.

Because I too had parts of myself I didn’t like.

When I first abandoned cross-dressing, I had felt like none of it was really “me.”
Even in dresses, sometimes I felt strange, as if it wasn’t truly me.
I wondered if maybe I didn’t like myself at all.

But in the end—

‘I like you.’
‘Whether you were a knight, a saint, even the Pope’s illegitimate child… I like you.’

The moment I recalled that, all my confusion cleared.

It didn’t matter.
Because every version of me was still me.

‘I don’t need to separate them. They’re all me. And they’re all the one he—Karl—loves.’

That realization washed away all the anger.

Even the times I thought I was “deceiving” him—those were still me.

I exhaled, calming the surge of emotion.

“….”

Then, slowly, the Grand Duke’s trembling hand moved.

It gently lifted the hand I had used to cover his mouth—

As if to say he had something to tell me now.