IBWMD 109

~Chapter 109~

‘What a disaster!’

How am I supposed to go in there?

I collapsed face-first on the bed, unable to even scream.

The soft fabric of my nightgown drifted down over my calves.
This was the least embarrassing thing I could wear—after desperately fighting off the head maid, who wanted to dress me up for a wedding night.

‘Can you even call this clothing?’

Just remembering the outfits the head maid showed me made me dizzy.

None of those were “honest” outfits—they were downright dirty tricks!

Can’t we just pretend to share the room? Just come out of the bedroom together in the morning?

But with the Holy Knights already in the territory, I knew I had to at least act properly.

Even if Captain Ista is fine, you never know if there are spies among the new Holy Knights.

They say the new recruits aren’t close to the Pope, but…
That just means there could be knights even Ista and I don’t know mixed in.

A double-edged sword.

Right now, I really have to be careful with everything.

“But still, sharing a bedroom right away…”

Maybe I’ll just tell the Duke to sleep on the bed, and I’ll take the floor.

“I’m losing my mind.”

But I can’t just hide out forever.

I was squeezing my pillow, panicking and unable to go into the couple’s bedroom, when—

Knock knock.

“Elaine?”

A nervous voice, almost as anxious as mine, came with a gentle knock.

“…Reina?”

Dazed, I called out as the bedroom door opened just a little.

Reina appeared, already changed from her formal dress into comfy indoor clothes.

She closed the door and walked over to me.

“I heard what happened. I wanted to sleep with you tonight.”

“Should I just ask for that? Just for one night, I want to talk with my sister…”

“I want that too, but your head maid is strict.”

Reina sat beside me. I unconsciously leaned on her shoulder and sighed.

“Are you nervous?”

“…It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t.”

“Elaine, if the Duke ever touches you and you don’t want him to, tell me. I’ll make him go bald…”

“What? Did you learn that from Beth?”

“Yeah, she says it’s the best punishment. Anyway, if he lays a hand on you…”

“No, I don’t think that’ll happen.”

Even as I answered, I felt complicated.

Yeah, the Duke promised not to touch me, so it should be fine…

I bit my lip nervously. Reina brushed my bangs back gently.

“I should have been the one here instead of you.”

Then she said something ominous.

I squinted at Reina.

“…Reina.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you get butterflies when you look at the Duke?”

“What are you talking about?”

I mean, from what you said, it almost sounds like “your spot should’ve been mine.”

“I have a fiancé, you know.”

“You’ve only met him a few times… I mean, that southern navy guy.”

“Still, he’s my fiancé.”

“It was an arranged engagement before birth. You only met him once, that’s why you’re not married yet.”

“Elaine?”

“Now that I think about it, that’s annoying. Why hasn’t he even sent a proposal? Break up with him. Actually, wait—wait until you’re back in the capital…”

“Calm down. Even if I break up with him, I never felt excited about the Duke.”

Her gentle tone told me she loved me but thought I was being silly.

“You should try matching me with Captain Ista, like when we were kids.”

“…”

“And if the Duke had wanted me, like you said, things would’ve been easier.”

“Easier?”

“Then you wouldn’t have to carry such a heavy burden.”

What is she talking about?

I rolled my eyes and answered.

“Reina, don’t forget all of this started because of me.”

“Letting those innocent princesses go free isn’t a mistake—it’s justice.”

“But the Emperor got mad. I almost ruined your life.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

Reina took a deep breath.

“Elaine. This might sound strange, but…”

She gave a bittersweet smile.

“Sometimes I wished you were really my little brother.”

I looked at Reina’s face.

“There were times I wished I could pick out a tuxedo or men’s uniform for you instead of a wedding dress.”

“….”

“So that I wouldn’t feel so guilty.”

“Reina.”

“Because if you didn’t have to pretend, if you didn’t have to be a knight or trick anyone, I wouldn’t have to feel so uncomfortable seeing you struggle.”

“….”

“I know the trouble you’ve caused was probably from all that pressure.”

Reina’s lashes fluttered at me.

“So, in short… I just hated feeling guilty whenever I saw you.”

“….”

“Isn’t that selfish?”

“Reina.”

“So really, I’m the one who made a mess of things.”

I quickly shook my head.

“No. It never felt selfish at all.”

“….”

“Honestly, sometimes I wished I was really a boy too.”

A long time ago, I did.

Then at least the boys would have accepted me.
I might have made more friends or even married early.

I used to think that was possible.

But now…

“I don’t think that way at all anymore.”

Why is that?

Actually, I knew the answer.

‘I don’t think it’s foolish.’

‘Even if you were a Holy Knight, a Saint, or the Pope’s illegitimate child…’

Karl, who accepted me crossdressing without question.

And the Duke, who said it didn’t matter who I was.

‘I guess realizing I was reincarnated helped too…’

Those words comforted me more than I realized.

‘Maybe coming here was a good thing after all.’

Suddenly, I felt calm. My heart, which had almost jumped out of my mouth, settled down.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

“….”

“And neither did I.”

Because the mess I made brought me here.

And I met good people because of it.

Reina smiled faintly.

It was like she wanted me to realize that nothing was ruined.

“The Duke… he’s a much better person than I expected. You don’t need to worry.”

She smiled more.

“I thought so too.”

“You thought so?”

“Actually, I used to hate him. I even rushed here because of what Beth wrote in her letter.”

I could guess what Beth wrote.

She must have complained about the Duke a lot.

“But earlier… Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

“You heard us?”

“I was looking for you and heard your balcony conversation.”

…What?

She heard all those embarrassing things?

I could tell, because Reina’s face was a little red.

“And I saw you and the Duke coming out together…”

What did we look like?

I wanted to ask, but Reina just smiled more softly and gently than before.

“Earlier, I said I’d make the Duke pay if he touched you, Elaine.”

“But honestly, I think you were right. I don’t think he would.”

“Maybe, he’s actually worth trusting a little.”

“….”

“He seems like a better person than I thought.”

Reina whispered quietly.

“And Elaine, even if you did mess up… so what?”

“You can just take responsibility and move forward.”

As she left the room, Reina’s eyes sparkled.

“That’s always how you’ve been.”

“Reina.”

“So hang in there.”

“….”

Thud.

The door closed gently.

I sat on the bed for a while, then stood up.

“That’s right.”

I just have to take responsibility and move on.

Going into the bedroom isn’t a big deal.

‘Just hold hands and sleep. That’s all.’

With that thought, I stepped toward the bedroom…

* * *

…I couldn’t do it. Suddenly I was running through the night streets.

Tap tap tap! My footsteps echoed loudly.

‘It’s not because I’m embarrassed. Really.’

Just imagining holding hands and sleeping made me feel all fluttery and awkward—not that I’d admit it!

But why was I running through the streets?

“This way! This way!”

Eliza pointed, panting, toward a dark alley.

And from there—

“Aaaaah!”

“Argh!”

Cries and screams echoed out.

Among them, I heard Zeon’s voice.