IBTYDOTCID – Chapter 82

I always figured kissing and whispering sweet nothings were things I’d never have in my life. Obviously. I’m the kind of person who finds even casual skin contact uncomfortable.

And yet here I was, lips locked with a man. At night. Under the moon. With Sahyeon of all people—the one I’d hated most at first glance.

When our lips finally parted, our eyes met. I’d thought I’d never see that look on his face again. Only then did the joy, buried under all that anger, well up like a spring.

I slipped my arms naturally around his neck. He kissed me again.

So kissing could feel this good, huh. Not exactly something you brag about out loud, but a solid little epiphany nonetheless.

Sahyeon’s hand gripped my waist, steady and firm. The kiss went on for a long time.

I’d been so preoccupied with that first kiss that I forgot one obvious thing: we couldn’t just do this forever. Eventually, our lips would separate, and then we’d have to… talk. Like nothing happened.

We kissed a few more times. Then our eyes met again. Our lips slowly pulled apart, and an awkward silence settled in.

“This is unbearably embarrassing,” I muttered.

Sahyeon, still holding my waist, let out a quiet laugh.

“This is normal for couples, you know.”

“And who the hell said we’re a couple? Stop spouting nonsense.”

I pushed him away before he could start unloading more cringeworthy lines. This time, Sahyeon backed off without resistance.

I wiped my cheeks like they actually needed it and gave myself a dry wash. My face was on fire. I turned away and gulped down some tea—only for Sahyeon to suddenly hug me from behind again. I tried to shove him off, but he didn’t budge.

“Just let me stay like this a little longer. I really missed you.”

I didn’t answer.

Normally I’d tell him to fuck off, but somehow, facing him head-on felt even more awkward. So I let it slide. Honestly? I didn’t hate it.

I stayed still, letting his warmth soak through my back. After a while, I asked quietly.

“You got hurt bad that day, didn’t you?”

“Mm…”

He answered slowly, arms still around me.

“I wasn’t completely unarmored, you know. I had reinforced armor underneath. Still got injured since it couldn’t block inner force, though.”

“And yet you had the mental space to fake your death and run off, huh.”

“Well, I didn’t hit my head.”

Of course. Always had a damn answer. That annoyed me enough that I pinched the back of his hand, still clasped around my waist. He yelped dramatically but didn’t let go.

“That day, my own body felt like a burden. I’d just saved you and collapsed, and all I could think was—this is my chance. If I don’t die now, I never will.”

I still couldn’t forgive him for not giving me any kind of warning. But hearing that… part of me got it.

People who live their lives chasing—or being chased—can’t afford to pass up chances like that. They either grab them, or die. I’d lived that life once. And so had Sahyeon. It made sense he’d disappear when the timing was right.

Or maybe that’s all just excuses. At the end of the day… he was alive. That’s what mattered. He didn’t die because of me.

“Then why’d you leave your stuff behind? You trying to drive me insane?”

I grumbled, but the edge had mostly dulled. Sahyeon opened one hand, still wrapped around me.

“I was gonna come get it anyway. I had it tucked in my clothes, but it fell out when I got stabbed.”

“Tough. I’m selling it off for a high price and buying myself something good.”

“Hey now, you can’t just take back a gift!”

“Says who? Should’ve been more careful with it.”

“Ouch. That’s low.”

He grumbled and hugged me tighter. I’d give it back eventually, but not right away. Let him stew a little. Fair’s fair.

I pried him off and sat down at the table. Poured two cups of tea and jerked my chin at the seat across from me.

“Sit. It’s annoying talking to you standing up.”

Sahyeon smiled quietly and sat without a word. Now that the rage, tears, and awkward tension had passed, all the questions started flooding in.

“What’s the deal with Ak Huhyeon of the Shandong Ak Clan?”

“Mm, you could say it’s a new skin. I’m going to live under that name from now on—unless something goes wrong.”

“So in short, Ak Huhyeon’s a fake identity?”

“Yep. But you can still call me Sahyeon. That was my childhood name anyway. You’ll be the only person in the world calling me that now.”

He smiled again. Something warm rose in my chest. I quickly downed my tea to smother it.

“Ahem. So how’d you get that identity, anyway? The Shandong Ak Clan is a real family.”

When I asked, Sahyeon tapped the table with his fingers and chuckled softly.

“The Ak Clan’s fourth son, Ak Huhyeon, used to be the shining hope of the family. A genius, they said. The one rope that could pull their falling household back up.”

“Wouldn’t that make it harder to borrow his name?”

“Just listen. He’s currently missing. No one knows if he’s dead or alive. The clan’s been pretending he went into seclusion for training.”

“They didn’t try to track him down?”

If he was that important, shouldn’t they have turned over every stone to find him?

“Actually, they kept it real quiet. Because he got kicked out over… something scandalous.”

“Scandalous?”

“Yeah. Nobody wanted to say it outright, but the rumor is he was involved with… young boys.”

Okay. I didn’t need to hear more.

“So you took over for that sick bastard? How?”

“People say money can’t solve everything, but it solves most things. Close enough.”

Hard to argue with that. Add some fists to the money and you can solve just about anything.

“If their family business was going downhill, I guess selling that identity was a good deal for them. But you used that name even before all this, didn’t you?”

“I set it up ahead of time. Just in case. That guy never showed his face anyway, so no one would know the difference.”

Sahyeon fiddled with his teacup.

I watched him quietly. I’d only ever seen him in cheap linen or dark combat robes, so the silk looked strange on him. But somehow… it fit. Like he was born for it. His usual slouch had vanished too. He looked taller, more upright. Striking, even. That wide-sleeved black silk robe suited him annoyingly well.

“If you had that identity ready, why’d it take you a month to come back?”

“I needed time to recover. And I had to set up a good excuse for the Ak Clan to bring back their missing son.”

“…”

“Also had to shake off the Hao Alliance for a bit.”

At that, my heart dropped. Right. The Hao Alliance was watching him.

Truthfully, their martial strength isn’t that great. But no one dares underestimate them—because their eyes are everywhere.

The Hao Alliance is a network of lowborn workers. Merchants, slave traders, brothel courtesans. If they decide to find you, you’ll be found. Period.

And that cursed tracking scent of theirs—there’s no way to detect it, no way to erase it.

“How? You can’t just wipe out their tracking scent with normal methods.”

“Mm…”

Sahyeon, who’d been answering everything without hesitation, scratched his cheek and looked uncomfortable. So there was something he couldn’t say.

Well, honestly? I didn’t care about the method. Just the outcome.

“If you can’t say, fine. So bottom line: it’s gone now?”

“Yep. Gone.”

“Good. Must’ve been a hell of a month for you.”

I let out a quiet sigh and accepted his explanation. At least he hadn’t done it to screw me over.

Maybe I’m just too simple, but… whatever. I didn’t want to keep resenting him. I was the one who screamed at the sky to bring him back.

“By the way, my lady—can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

I nodded casually and sipped my tea.

“What did you write on the wishing lantern?”

Cough!

I choked.

While I was hacking my lungs out, Sahyeon asked if I was okay—but his face was way too suspicious. Did he know something? I glared at him. He stared right back.

“Your reaction’s kinda intense. Now I’m dying to know.”

“You’re curious about the weirdest stuff. I just wished for peace and safety.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

It wasn’t a lie. I had wished for the Moyong Clan’s safety.

Sahyeon actually seemed to buy it. He nodded and took a sip of tea, then smiled.

“For a second, I thought you wrote my name on it.”

“…You little shit!”

“Hey, shh! You’ll wake the whole house. What happens if they catch you sneaking around with some guy? Chaos, I’m telling you.”

Ughhh. He saw it and still had the nerve to tease me. Bastard.

“Fine! That kiss never happened. I take it back! You’re—!”

Before I could finish, something soft pressed against my lips. Sahyeon’s again. He pulled away with a faint smacking sound, and that smug smile of his curled up like a cat’s.

“Hey now. No take-backs. Be generous.”

Sure, money solves most things. But there’s nothing like a solid punch.

I socked him in the chest. He winced dramatically, then grinned.

“Bite me if you want. I’ll just steal another one later.”

“No you won’t!”

“I’ll come up with some official excuse soon. Till then, let’s just meet in secret like this. Deal?”

“I’m locking my window. Dream on.”

I shoved him, grumbling. But somehow… I couldn’t put any force behind it.

We talked for a while longer, quietly. When the sky hit its darkest point, Sahyeon finally stood.

“I should go.”

“…Yeah.”

I watched him vanish into the night, full of reluctant longing. It felt like waking from a dream. Even after I pulled the blanket over my head, there was no way I was falling asleep. My heart was pounding way too loud.

Not long after he left, the sky started to brighten.

Was he making his way back now, through the misty morning?

Without thinking, I reached up and touched my lips. Then flinched in horror.

What the hell was I doing? I scrubbed at my lips until they stung.

Honestly, the night could’ve gone on a little longer. But of course, today of all days, the morning came way too soon.

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