Wham!
âAugh!â
A solid blow smacked hard into my shoulder blade. A moment later, an austere voice rang out.
âClear your mind.â
âTch⊠Yes, sir.â
I rubbed the aching spot where heâd struck meânot with internal force, thankfullyâand glanced up at Moyong Jegeom. His glare was so intense I couldnât even muster an excuse.
To be fair, I really was lost in my own head.
âAgain.â
At his curt command, I resumed position.
Lately, Iâd been learning a new footwork technique. It shared the same foundation as what Iâd studied before, but the details had changedâtweaked for sharper, faster movement.
I tried again, pushing my steps quicker, tighter.
âSpeed alone means nothing. Without precision, it unravels and collapses.â
âYes, sir.â
The more I moved, the hotter my face got, sweat soaking through. It hadnât been many days since I resumed training, but I had to admit, my stamina had improved a little. I wasnât gasping for air quite as quickly.
Still didnât make it easy. I was dripping in no time. The heat didnât help, either.
No idea how long Iâd been moving when my headâfinally quietâstarted buzzing again.
âYou already know. So why ask?â
Sahyeon had said it like it was a fact. Sorry to Dang Iheon, but after that conversation, my resolve to go to Sichuan had started to waver. Hard to think clearly when your headâs been yanked sideways.
Iâd been tossing back and forth all night.
Didnât sleep a wink. But by morning, I knew what answer Iâd give to Iheon.
Iâd decided to go to Sichuan.
Rationally, it was the only move. No matter how many times I went over it in my head, that was the safest path.
If Sohae hadnât poisoned meâif Iâd kept up my martial trainingâI wouldâve gone ahead with my original plan. No question.
But I didnât. And now, if I tried to flee, I wouldnât get far. My bodyâs too weak. The Moyong Clan would find me in no time, and then? Iâd be dragged into their downfall and buried with them.
Even if I took a step back and said, âOkay, Iâll stay and help stop their ruinââIâd still die. My martial skills are wiped clean.
I hadnât told Iheon yet, but Iâd made up my mind. I just didnât feel right about it, deep down.
âFocus!â
Another shout cut through. I flinched and forced my mind back to the present.
Moyong Jegeom usually seemed like a cranky old man, but when it came to training, he could be downright terrifying. A different kind of scary from back when I trained at the Black Ring Sect, but scary all the same.
And then another thought smacked me in the brainâloud and sudden.
How the hell was I supposed to tell Sahyeon?
Iâd been dodging the question because I didnât want to think about it, but one thing was clearâSahyeon wasnât going to be happy about this.
âStill distracted!â
Wham!
âAgh! Shit, that hurts!â
âGet your head straight!â
God, if only I could train with my brain turned off. One system for the body, one for the thoughts. Would be so much more efficient.
By the time I finished for the day, I was soaked through like Iâd been dunked in a river. Moyong Jegeom eyed me and said stiffly,
âMind and body are one. If thereâs a gap in one, the other collapses. I thought you understood this. But today, clearly not.â
âIâm sorry.â
âIf you plan to be like this again tomorrow, donât come.â
âIâll be more careful. It wonât happen again.â
This was definitely my fault, so I bowed and apologized. Taking time from someone to learn martial arts and then zoning out like thisâstraight-up disrespectful to the teacher.
I was dragging my feet toward the pavilion gate when I saw someone waving at me ahead.
Two people, actually. The twins. Of course it was Moyong Cheon doing the frantic waving.
âHowâd training go?â
âEh, it was alright.â
While I answered Cheon, Moyong Ha silently held out a neatly folded handkerchief and water bottle. These two had identical faces, but polar opposite personalities.
Though in fairness, both of them were equally annoying in their own way.
âWhat are you two doing here?â
âWe came to feed Ahwa. Mother had duck cooked just for you.â
Duck! Hell yes, duck is always a win. The Moyong Clanâs chef was damn good with poultry. And I was starving after training. My mouth watered automatically.
I had planned to head to Dang Iheon right away⊠but eating wouldnât take half a day. I gave the twins a small nod. Moyong Cheon beamed and gave me a shove toward the house.
What greeted me looked less like breakfast and more like a feast. The table looked ready to collapse.
Moyong Wi, already seated, waved me over cheerfully.
âYou must be worn out from training. Sit, sit. Your mother picked these ingredients herself to help nourish your body.â
Lady Eon smiled softly and nodded. I sat beside her without thinking. A subtle fragrance drifted off her robes. My heart twinged a little.
âTraining is important, but take care of yourself first. If anythingâs difficult, tell us.â
âYes⊠Mother.â
Moyong Muhyeok arrived not long after, joining the cozy atmosphere. With Elder Paeâs absence shaking up the Eldersâ Council, the Young Master had apparently gotten even busier. The clanâs internal power was tilting further toward the Clan Head.
As always, we sat together like a real family. The duck dish Lady Eon had arranged melted in my mouth. Could the Sichuan Dang Clanâs chef match this? If not⊠I might really miss the food here.
Come to think of it, shouldnât I bring up Sichuan now? After everything that happened, itâd be no surprise if my parents freaked out at the idea of me leaving again. I barely escaped death a few weeks ago, and now I was planning to run off to some faraway province with my fiancĂ©?
While I chewed duck and stewed in guilt, the rest of the family just smiled at me like I was a puppy doing tricks. Like what I was eating, they were eating too.
Once, those looks made me squirm like I was being skinned alive. Now? Itâs just part of life.
But if I left for Sichuan, this kind of family meal⊠wouldnât happen many more times.
âAhwa, even if youâre full, have a little more.â
âYes. Eat well, build up strengthâthatâs the only way you can do what you want.â
Moyong Wi and Lady Eon pushed more meat in front of me. It felt heavy. Like Iâd choke on it.
Now was the moment. Say it now or neverâbut I couldnât quite open my mouth.
âSoâŠâ
I tried to speak, but my voice came out too soft. Moyong Muhyeok spoke up instead.
âOn my way in earlier, I ran into Elder Jegeom. He seemed genuinely pleasedâsaid Ahwa was steadfast and diligent.â
âOh, really?â
âYes. He rarely praises anyone. Must have been impressed.â
That caught me off guard. Especially since Iâd been scolded all morning for spacing out. Maybe he really does care about me, deep down.
This was the same Moyong Jegeom who never gave me false praiseânot even once. And heâd said that? I couldnât help feeling a little smug.
Lady Eon looked downright radiant with pride.
âAhwa has always had martial talent. But more than that, her persistenceâher ability to endureâis rare.â
âIndeed. Mustâve taken after you, my dear.â
The two of them looked at each other and smiled like some fairytale couple. Still not used to that.
In all this warmth, I couldnât bring myself to say anything. I swallowed it down with another bite of duck. Then Moyong Muhyeok added,
âAhwa, once your health improves, letâs visit Bingul in the summer. Thereâs a temple nearbyâitâll be good for clearing the heat.â
âThat sounds lovely. We should bring the fruits Ahwa likes, too.â
Moyong Cheon nodded quickly and turned to Lady Eon.
âYou should come as well, Mother. You struggled with the heat last summer.â
âHow can I leave the clan unattended? You children go and have fun.â
âIâll come too. Nothing drastic will happen if Iâm gone for three or four days.â
Moyong Wi reassured her. Meanwhile, the person sitting there planning to leave before summer⊠was me. The guilt hit harder.
I didnât want to ruin the mood, didnât want to drop cold water on this cheerful scene.
And then, uninvited, Sahyeonâs voice echoed in my headâasking if I wanted to go to the lantern festival with him.
Everyone kept saying things like that. âLetâs do something together later.â In every version of the future they imagined, I was just⊠there.
âAhwa, what do you think? It wonât be too hard if you go by palanquin.â
Moyong Wi asked gently. Everyone turned to me.
Iâd always said whatever the hell I wanted. No one around me cared. If they got angry or disappointed, that was their problem.
But nowâŠ
âIn the summerâŠ?â
âYes. You donât handle heat well, like your mother. After all youâve been through, itâll be good for your health. Just a quiet trip with the family.â
âIf you say youâre coming, this big brother will pack everything you need!â
âIâll help too.â
The brothers looked at me like excited puppies, throwing out all sorts of promises about how great itâd be.
Imagine it, they said.
So I did.
I imagined this peaceful garden going up in flames.
These smiling faces never smiling at me again. Their bodies broken and bloody, collapsed on cold stone.
Left to rot, unloved, unnoticed.
And even in those final moments⊠they might still try to protect me. Just like Sahyeonâs brother had.
Was it the horror of that story, or the fact that I knew how the Moyong Clan would fall?
I suddenly pictured myself hacking off one of their arms to get away.
I felt all the blood drain from my body.
It was fearâdifferent from what I felt facing the Heavenly Demon in that dream.
Iâd already chosen to go to Sichuan. Seol Danhae, the one I used to be, had made that decision. Spent the whole night weighing every angle.
And yet⊠I still hadnât been able to leave. Only now did I finally understand why.
I donât want to go.
I canât leave them to die again. I canât walk away.
Goddamn it. I mustâve eaten too much of their rice.
ââŠSounds great. Letâs go. In the summer.â
Together.
Iâd changed my mind. I wasnât going to Sichuan.
đ Translator Notes đ
The phrase âìŽ ì§ ìì ë돎 ì€ë ëščìë€â (âI mustâve eaten too much of their riceâ) is a Korean idiom meaning youâve grown attached to someoneâs household or care, especially to the point of loyalty or guilt.
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