Chapter 18
The Emperor furrowed his brow and slowly backed away. Then, in an instant, he was at the window.
Ah, I was careless!
“Your Majesty, why are you avoiding me?!”
I widened my eyes and dashed forward. Almost throwing myself at him, I grabbed the hem of his robes, only for him to extend his foot in a neutral, expressionless manner.
“I do not understand what you mean.”
“You ran away from me in the garden earlier! And now too!”
“I’m opening the window because it’s warm.”
“It’s autumn now.”
A cool autumn breeze swirled between the Emperor and me.
He was momentarily speechless, and I seized the opportunity, straining as I helped him sit on the sofa.
“Have you had dinner? Come, have a drink with me.”
I offered the wine I had set up. The Emperor took it unconsciously, then immediately showed a look of dismay.
“Why are you doing this? You ate well yesterday. I got too drunk drinking with you yesterday—I barely remember anything.”
As I muttered quietly, his golden eyes narrowed.
“How much do you not remember?”
“Well… here and there, but I do recall that you said you’d reconsider the ball.”
“You remember only what suits you.”
The Emperor muttered, clearly exasperated.
Finally, he took a sip of the wine obediently, and I beamed with satisfaction.
“Your Majesty, have you thought about the ball? You’ll hold it, right?”
I prodded him persistently, like a ball-obsessed woman, and he raised his eyebrows, glancing at me.
“…You remember the ball, but why can’t you remember my name?”
“What name?”
I looked at the wine as if asking, “Is this famous?” Then he set the glass down with a clack.
“…Didn’t I ask you to call me by my name? You said you preferred Lea over ‘you.’”
“Oh, right! I remember now. Then please call me by my name, Your Majesty.”
My eyes sparkled as I urged him, and the Emperor, with a haughty look, resisted.
“You first.”
“Me too? How could I say Your Majesty’s name?”
“You called me freely yesterday, and now you hesitate?”
Ugh, that was because I was drunk yesterday!
Seeing him awkward, he forced me to go first. I felt embarrassed, scratched my cheek, then laughed and decided to just go with it.
“Then, Sian, why do you dislike the ball?”
He hadn’t expected such a direct question. The Emperor gulped his wine, refilled, and I snatched the glass to finish it all in one go.
“You… why?”
“Lea. Sian, you have to explain why you dislike it. I really, really want to hold the ball.”
Gently coaxing him—well, Sian, now I should think of him as Sian—it would stick in my mouth better.
Sian seemed determined to make me give up on being a clingy little pest.
Finally, he spoke.
“I don’t have good memories of it. From childhood until now.”
A slight shadow fell over his normally blunt golden eyes.
I was surprised, trying to recall. The last ball had been at the coronation, hadn’t it?
‘Ugh. As expected, I don’t remember the details.’
What could have happened at that ball for him to dislike it so much? I felt curiosity and a strong sense that I needed to solve this problem.
I needed to hold the ball to collect men’s hair! How could I possibly reach 10,000 in this state?!
“Could you tell me what happened? I might be able to help.”
“You saw it at the coronation.”
He spoke as if soothing me, but Sian looked at me suspiciously. Startled, I sipped the wine awkwardly and laughed.
“I’ve been so immersed in alcohol that I have partial memory loss.”
“Health management is your responsibility, not mine.”
Sian paused there, noticing my gaze—strong, eager, and playful.
A thirty-second standoff passed, and Sian glanced away, sighing.
“…I think health management should be your responsibility, Lea.”
Hearing my name in his refined voice was very pleasant.
Ah. Now I remembered—this was the first time he’d said my name since I became Lea.
“Yes, Sian. I’ll eat my broccoli properly too.”
Feeling cheerful, I replied like a pampered child.
Sian instinctively sensed something strange, raising his eyebrows. I feigned ignorance and urged him.
“So, why do you dislike the ball?”
I rested my chin on the armrest of the single sofa, asking, and Sian stared out the window for a while in silence.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I leisurely waited, sipping the wine.
Sian, looking at me with a contemplative gaze, finally spoke after finishing two glasses.
“I was raised not to feel emotions.”
Happiness, sadness—all of it.
His golden eyes were calm, proving the truth of his words.
“When I was born, the prophecy said, ‘An emperor with emotions will destroy the empire.’ My father believed it and raised me strictly.”
Sian murmured while looking at his hands.
“…For a beast like me, only war and hunting suit me. Not human events like balls.”
“Even so, Sian, you’re still human.”
I gently set down the empty fourth glass. His golden eyes studied me as if seeing something strange.
“What’s so special about a ball? Hold hands, dance, talk to acquaintances. That’s all there is to enjoy.”
Ah… perhaps he can’t dance? I smiled and teased. Sian’s handsome lips twitched faintly.
“He smiled.”
“I didn’t.”
The dark-haired handsome man straightened his expression. I smiled and rested my chin on my hand.
“If you don’t know something, you can learn. Don’t you feel emotions when with people? Confused or don’t understand?”
“…Mostly.”
It seemed awkward for him to reveal so much about himself so honestly.
Sian closed his eyes after a pause. I instinctively knew he was recalling the coronation incident and sipped the fifth glass while waiting.
“…”
Under closed eyelids, memories surfaced.
After his father followed the late Empress in death, Sian, trained to obey instincts without feeling, ascended to the throne.
From young prince to adult crown prince, a ball was merely a day to greet the Emperor before nobles and foreign envoys.
But after he became ruler of the empire, everything changed.
Accustomed to the cries and groans of war, Sian suffered constant headaches in the peaceful palace.
Though headaches existed on the battlefield, they were far more severe in the tranquil palace.
Sian endured, thinking the environment caused it. Yet no one knew it had accumulated to its breaking point—this was the start of tragedy.
“Your Majesty, we greet you!”
“Your Majesty, it’s an honor!”
The coronation ball, officially held in his name, was loud: orchestras, many nobles, foreign envoys. His nerves were taut and frayed.
Still, as a perfectly educated crown prince, the new emperor barely maintained composure.
“Your Majesty, this is my daughter, Clorence Sescal.”
Near the ball’s end, a high-ranking noble appeared with his daughter in front of Sian, who sipped wine to ease his headache.
“Your Majesty! It’s an honor to meet you!”
“Pleasure, Miss Sescal.”
Her fragile, high voice made his blood vessels tighten.
The young woman nervously, yet flirtatiously, glanced at the handsome emperor. The more she spoke, the sharper Sian’s headache became.
He thought to retreat and rest, maintaining a neutral face while observing etiquette.
‘Please enjoy yourself.’
But the girl, excited from her crush, unconsciously grabbed the Emperor’s robe. She shouted:
“Your Majesty, don’t go!”
The high soprano pierced Sian’s brain. Simultaneously, his severe headache struck.
“I still have so much to say!”
Overcome by sudden pain, he lost control. Sian roughly shoved the girl away.
Unfortunately, a servant carrying multiple champagne glasses passed by.
Thud—!
Crash, clink!
“Ahhh!”
“Ugh! Clorence!”
The girl slipped among broken glass, drenched in champagne and blood. Her dress ripped, she was injured, and fainted. Her father shook in shock, holding her.
“How could you try to kill this child! She only grabbed you!”
The familiar smell of blood made him tense, and he stared at the blood-soaked floor beneath him, feeling strange.
Though panicked, Sian, untrained to process emotions, remained silent.
Everyone present witnessed the scene.
“Was he really raised on battlefields from childhood?!”
“Be careful! If something goes wrong, His Majesty could kill anyone—woman or man!”
The new Emperor left the ballroom expressionless, leaving a pool of blood and a fainted girl.
“Despot! Tyrant!”
“Horrible… he’s gone mad with blood!”
What filled the void were rampant rumors.
Having lived so long in war, he supposedly could not survive without blood. His expressionless demeanor meant he restrained his murderous urge.
Though purely speculation, the shocking sight at the lavish ball spread the rumors far and wide.
Since Sian never refuted them, over time, they became accepted as fact.
Eventually, the young Emperor’s name became_
