HDBMTD 93

~Chapter 93~

A soft tongue slipped into the gap of my parted lips. In an instant, our tongues tangled, and a suffocating kiss followed.

“Mmm…”

The tender touch against the inside of my mouth made my body tremble. Nocturne kissed me as if he would devour me, raising one knee onto the bed. I felt him trying to push me down against it.

“Ugh…”

I hurriedly lifted my hand to push his shoulder. It was barely a touch, but luckily, he noticed my intention and stopped. He sucked lightly on my lower lip before slowly pulling back.

I had thought his eyes were completely swallowed by madness, but since he withdrew, perhaps a little reason was still left.

When I lifted my head, his burning blue gaze made me flinch. Even after breaking away, his eyes lingered stubbornly on my lips—red and swollen from his kiss.

I lowered my gaze, covered my mouth with my hand, and asked:

“Why so suddenly… Did something happen outside?”

It couldn’t be that fighting a C-class beast had driven him into madness. What exactly had happened?

At my question, Nocturne frowned slightly. I hadn’t expected him to be capable of conversation, but he gave me an answer anyway.

“Rats… they were annoying…”

Rats?

So today’s monster had been in the form of rats? If it was a swarm type, then yes, that would explain the long delay.

Having answered, Nocturne pressed his lips to mine again. My body, which had just risen, fell back against the bed under his strength.

His lips crashed into mine. He kissed me desperately, like a thirsty man drinking rainwater.

The puppy who had been cautious all day suddenly turned into a starving wolf the moment he woke—it was so sudden it didn’t feel real. Almost like I was in some kind of sensual dream.

But though unexpected, it didn’t feel bad to receive all of Nocturne’s longing with my whole body.

I parted my lips willingly. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him back, letting our tongues intertwine.

But then, when his hand began to lift the hem of my skirt, I froze.

Turning my head aside, I spoke quickly.

“Wait.”

At my voice, Nocturne’s hand stopped. I was grateful he listened, though he still held the fabric lifted. I quickly pulled it back down myself.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Undressing you.”

He answered directly. His deep blue eyes looked at me as if wondering why I would even ask such an obvious thing.

“That…”

My throat felt dry as I swallowed. Without organizing my words, I blurted out:

“Will it be okay? If you… do this with me?”

“…”

Nocturne’s face twisted strangely, as though he had heard something incomprehensible. Flustered, I stammered on.

“You might regret it later when you come to your senses.”

“…What do you mean?”

He started to protest, but suddenly paused.
He seemed to realize what I was referring to.

Back in the Imperial Palace, when we had fallen into Padva’s scheme, we had shared one night together.

Even then, Nocturne had been in madness. But the next day, he vanished. When I went to see him, he was furious—accusing me of using incense to deceive him.

“That time… the words I said…”

Nocturne’s deep blue eyes trembled faintly. After wetting his lips, he spoke slowly:

“It was nonsense. Just the ravings of a man lost in madness.”

He lowered his head.

It was strange. In that state, it should’ve been impossible to speak coherently—yet now he was giving me such a long explanation.

Sweat slid down his neck as his head hung low.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I wasn’t hurt by what you said. It’s just that…”

Truly, I hadn’t been offended then. I had only been unable to understand why he reacted that way.

But later, when I discovered the truth—that I was a clone—I regretted that night deeply.

To share a body with such a being as me… Thinking back, it felt too much, too wrong.

“Wouldn’t you find it disgusting?”

“…”

Carefully spoken, my words received no reply.

When I lifted my head, I froze.

Nocturne’s expression looked deeply wounded. It was as if I had struck him with harsh words.

‘Did he misunderstand me?’

Just as I opened my mouth again, Nocturne leaned closer.

His lips touched my left ear.

The scarred, burned skin there.

His kiss landed so softly, like a dandelion seed falling onto grass.

I shivered from the ticklish sensation as he whispered:

“I love your soul.”

The voice brushing my ear stole my breath.

I stared stiffly, and he kissed my hair once more, gazing at me with eyes filled with emotion.

It was as if all the feeling of love itself was melting in his gaze—sweet, tender, devoted.

“…Do you,” he hesitated, then asked quietly,
“Do you want me?”

Want him?

I slowly raised my head to look at him. His outline glowed faintly in the darkness.

My feelings for him could not be captured with such a simple word.

Like the darkest shadow clinging under a lamp, I was drawn to him.

It was a desire, as if I had found the very thing I lacked most.

I didn’t know if this was because I was Cambiata, or because of Aria’s memories of seeking comfort in him whenever she was anxious.

“…Yes. I want you.”

At my answer, Nocturne slowly removed his shirt. The faint moonlight through the window revealed his hardened body. Our eyes met, and I swallowed nervously.

Then, he slowly lifted the hem of my skirt.

He embraced me, and I accepted him.

“Ah…!”

My nails dug into his back before I pulled away quickly.

It felt too much, too precious—like pouring the finest wine over someone’s feet.

Love and fulfillment, but also guilt and emptiness, rushed into me all at once.

“You love my soul?”

Had he already forgotten Aria?

I looked up at him.

‘You’ve moved on faster than I thought.’

Yes, people say love is healed by love.

Nocturne had always been strong—both body and mind. Aria’s death and brainwashing had shaken him only for a moment.

“…Sera.”

He called my false name, caressing my cheek. I pressed my heated face against his hand.

His gaze deepened, and with an expression of restraint breaking apart, he covered my lips again. I kissed him back.

So sweet, I worried my teeth might rot by morning.

I was glad he was strong—because I could receive his affection, because I could become one with him.

Maybe this will be the last time…

When I reached out in my sleep, the space beside me was empty.

A strange déjà vu made me open my eyes.

I sat up and checked the clock.

“…It’s really 3 p.m.”

Why was it that whenever Nocturne fell into madness, I slept until three in the afternoon?

Such a strange connection.

Had Nocturne left before me again? A chill crept up my spine as I sat up.

“Awake now?”

From the window, Nocturne’s voice answered.