HDBMTD 70

~Chapter 70~

“If Aria had miraculously survived, she would look exactly like this.”

“…”

I thought I heard a slight tremor in Nocturne’s voice. Holding my breath in an inexplicable unease, I looked at him.

His gaze slowly swept over me.

“After surgery, her gait would change.”

His eyes moved to my hand.

“Burns would alter her fingerprints.”

Then he looked straight into my eyes.

“With her weakened body and layered trauma, even her handwriting would be different…”

“…”

“I can’t stop thinking that if Aria had survived, this is what she’d look like.”

Maybe because his very nature was fire, I felt heat spread wherever his gaze landed.

I forced my voice out.

“It’s impossible. You saw the princess die with your own eyes. You were the one by her side at that last moment.”

Watching his reaction, I added, “Maybe your rejection of me just faded because you’ve seen me so often.”

“At first, I thought so too. But then Tita told me about the brainwashing I was under.”

Nocturne chose his words carefully.

“That’s when I thought—maybe my rejection disappeared because the brainwashing was gone.”

I frowned.
“That brainwashing shouldn’t have that kind of effect.”

Back when I truly believed I was Aria, I’d hoped that breaking the brainwashing might make him treat me kindly again.

But the brainwashing turned out to be simply “Believe Aria’s last will completely.” And that will was only about revenge and continuing her cause.

The only effect I expected was him going after the Cambiata more aggressively.

As if sensing my doubt, Nocturne continued.

“I thought that was all too, but it bothered me. So after you recovered, I went to the doctor. He found traces of erased memories in my brain.”

“Erased memories?”

I frowned again.
Who would erase Nocturne’s memories?

“Apparently, memories are never completely gone. So while you were in treatment, I worked with the doctor to restore them. And I learned Aria’s real last will.”

I blurted out, startled, “She had a different last will?”

“You don’t remember?”

“…”

My silence made him sigh.

“Let’s go back, step by step, from the last battle I originally remembered.”

He began in a deliberate voice.

“Our forces were mostly mentally broken then. Aria erased every one of their traumatic memories—but to do that, she had to experience those horrors herself each time.”

“That’s right.”

I knew it well. As commander, she couldn’t erase her own memories.

She had to know everything and never fall apart.

“Even with her extraordinary mental strength, the war was wearing her down. By the last battle, she was near her limit.”

“Yes.”

“When we reached the Cambiata stronghold, the leader sent chimeras to attack us. I burned them all, and finally killed the leader.”

That much matched what I’d known of the final battle.

But he didn’t stop there.

“And the moment the leader died, Aria suddenly drew her sword and stabbed her own core.”

“What?”

“When I ran to her, she told me not to come, bound me with her psychic power—”

“What on earth…”

“And then she said it was fine if I didn’t love her anymore, and threw herself from the tower.”

I was stunned.

This… what was he saying?

“That’s what I remember of that day.”

Even after he finished, I stayed lost in confusion.

“Th-then… could it be…”

His story brought back my memory of the day I drank poison. When he found me collapsing, he had said:

‘How can this happen twice, right in front of me…’

Until now, I thought he meant he’d lost Aria in front of him before.

“That’s right.”

Nocturne lowered his head.
“Aria killed herself—in front of me.”

His voice was calm, but I could hear the deep wound in it. Watching his pain made it hard to breathe.

He had seen the person he loved choose death right before his eyes.

Which meant… I had tried to kill myself with Aria’s face, in front of someone with that trauma.

I realized just how cruel I had been.

I had no idea how to atone for it.

“I-I’m sorry…”

My voice trembled.
“But I don’t have any memory of that.”

“Tita told me you said your accident happened because the Cambiata leader pushed you.”

“Yes, I did.”

“And that after the leader’s death, you fell and had no regrets.”

“…That’s true.”

“Doesn’t add up. How could a dead man push you?”

“R-right…”

Confused, I thought, How could that happen?
The leader had been killed, yet he killed the princess…

Why didn’t I realize this was strange until now?

As I struggled, Nocturne spoke.

“The reason it doesn’t make sense is because your memory isn’t true. The truth is… Aria took her own life.”

“But… why would she…”

“I always thought she made that choice because she’d broken down mentally.”

His tone was heavy.

“But with the doctor’s help, I remembered what she said just before jumping from the tower—words she might have seen as her true last will.”

My chest tightened. “What was it?”

“Aria said: ‘Forget all the terrible things you saw today. The Cambiata leader was killed by you. I’ll die today, and you won’t be able to save me, but you will be able to live.’”

He paused, then added with effort:

“‘I loved your soul, Nocturne. Love my soul in return.’”

“That’s…”

I felt suffocated. I’d heard those words inside Nocturne’s mental world before. Since I didn’t remember saying them, I’d thought they were just his mind’s distortion.

“Once I learned her real last will, all the pieces fit.”

Nocturne looked straight at me.

“My brainwashing was ‘Believe Aria’s last will completely.’ That will said, ‘I will die, and you cannot save me.’ I accepted that as absolute truth—Aria was dead, and no one could bring her back.”

His eyes changed.

“So every time I saw you, I felt rejection. You looked like Aria, but could never be her. But when the brainwashing was gone, I saw you as the real Aria. Do you understand what that means?”

I breathed heavily. I wanted to answer, but my mind was too tangled for words.

“And there’s one more question.”

He studied me.
“Aria told me, ‘The Cambiata leader was killed by you.’ Why would she say that, unless she was actually the one who used her power to kill him?”

I shook my head. “But a psychic-type Eshafé… if they harm someone—”

“Yes. If they harm someone, they take the exact same harm themselves. If they use their ability to kill, they die too.”

Even as he spoke, his eyes were locked on my face, as if watching for any change.

“Maybe Aria used her ability to kill the leader—and the backlash made her attack herself.”

“…Ah.”

The moment I heard his words, it was like all the puzzle pieces snapped into place.

Yes. That was it.

That was what had happened.

His words pulled the trigger, and buried memories surged up from the depths of my mind.