HDBMTD 53

~Chapter 53~

5. So Much Alike

Nocturne had gone crazy.

This is not an insult or complaint — just a pure fact. I still love Nocturne. And with love and concern, I objectively analyzed the situation and reached this conclusion:

The Nocturne I love is crazy.

And the reason is probably me.

“Your Highness!”

The door burst open, and a familiar face entered the hospital room. A cute girl with neatly braided bright orange hair and freckles on her nose and cheeks. I smiled warmly when I saw her.

“Tita.”

“Your Highness, I was so…”

Tita’s voice trembled as she rushed over and hugged me tightly. I stroked her back with a bitter smile. I really am a terrible person, hurting people simply because they care for me.

“Sorry. You must have been so worried.”

“No, it’s fine. Your Highness, you’ve suffered so much. I’m just thankful you’ve woken up like this.”

Tita sniffled softly. Every word she spoke pricked at my conscience.

The princess she serves suddenly drank poison — of course she must have worried endlessly and tried to guess the reason. I could feel it in the comfort she offered me.

After patting her for a while, I asked,

“But Tita, why didn’t you come before?”

“Ah… that’s…”

Tita looked troubled. That was enough for me to guess.

“Nocturne stopped you?”

“Your Highness.”

Tita narrowed her eyes sadly.

“Please don’t be like that to the Duke. He thinks about you so much.”

“…What?”

“The Duke is really genuine.”

I blinked in confusion.

“Where’s my Tita? The bold girl who called the Imperial Duke a bastard…”

“I didn’t know back then.”

“So how did a bastard turn into someone genuine?”

“Well, when Your Highness collapsed, the Duke…”

Tita answered honestly.

When I collapsed from drinking poison, Tita had been walking in the garden late at night with Nocturne.

Then, as if he had noticed something, Nocturne suddenly ran toward the villa like a madman, so Tita hurried after him.

The aide who was always with Nocturne was there too — and since he was a mental-type Eshape, Tita quickly understood the situation.

“From then on, it felt like the sky had fallen. Inside the villa, it was pure chaos.”

When Tita and the aide arrived, I had already collapsed and was receiving emergency treatment from the healers. And when Tita saw Nocturne’s expression then, she realized something.

“It was a bare face showing pure love and pain. Anyone seeing that couldn’t doubt his sincerity.”

“….”

“You don’t know how much the Duke worried about you. So please, Your Highness, just focus on recovering. Even today, the moment you said you wanted to see me, he immediately allowed me to visit.”

Hearing Tita’s soothing voice, I smiled bitterly inside.

‘I was wrong.’

Until yesterday, I couldn’t understand why Nocturne saved me.

I thought he’d be relieved if I died.

When I drank the poison, the hallucinations made me not think straight, so it made me sad. I had desperately hoped that Nocturne wouldn’t hate me too much, wouldn’t be happy about my death.

But in truth, that wasn’t sincere. It was just nonsense from my delirium.

If he was happy, then fine. Let him shake it off and live happily.

But what is this situation now?

‘I shouldn’t have shown him that.’

Seeing me — with Aria’s face — dying in front of him must have touched some part of him.

Maybe it triggered his trauma and made him equate me with Aria. Or maybe, even though he logically knows I’m a clone, fear of losing me made him cling to me.

What’s certain is that he isn’t thinking rationally.

Yesterday, I tried to talk to him, but he avoided it, saying we should wait until I was healthier.

He used my health as the excuse, but maybe he’s just afraid to face the truth. I don’t know how long this will go on.

‘I should have disappeared in one go.’

For now, I had no choice but to focus on recovery like Nocturne said. Even if I tried to choose death again in the hospital, he would stop me. And I wasn’t even sure if leaving while he was this unstable was the right choice.

“Want to take a walk? The weather’s nice.”

“Can I go outside today?”

“Hmm, I think it’s fine.”

I tried moving my arms and legs lightly as I said this, but Tita still looked uneasy. We ended up calling a healer.

The woman who entered wore glasses — I hadn’t seen her among the healers yesterday. I greeted her and asked,

“I want to take a short walk with this girl. Is that okay?”

Suddenly, the healer’s eyes welled up and tears began to fall.

“Are… are you okay?”

Tita quickly offered her a handkerchief, and healers passing in the hall gathered to comfort her.

One of her colleagues explained for her.

“She’s a mental-type Eshape who checked your brain status when you were in the worst condition. Back then, it was truly hopeless… so seeing you awake and speaking to her must have made her cry.”

“Ah…”

The dedication of people who save lives shone so brightly.

If I were the real Aria, I would have hugged her and cried with her. But as a Cambiata, I could only think it was a waste of manpower.

After expressing her joy at my recovery, the healer answered my question.

“You can walk, but a healer must accompany you.”

We had called only the healer with glasses, but somehow her colleagues also began following us. They claimed it was to guard me, but it was obvious they just wanted to talk more.

Padva deserved praise for turning a Cambiata research lab full of monsters into such an excellent hospital. It was sad that this kindness and devotion had been wasted on Cambiata remnants.

Feeling slightly guilty, I kept a friendly smile, and they seemed to relax, chatting freely.

“The Duke is really amazing. He’s the talk of all the healers.”

After talking about how moved they were by my recovery, the topic shifted to Nocturne.

“At first, he was terrifying.”

“Right? It was intense…”

“But when we told him Your Highness would live and be out of danger, he smiled for the first time. That moment almost made me cry…”

I could picture it easily. Nocturne’s smile really is beautiful. If they saw it for the first time then, they would be touched.

The healer’s eyes teared up again at the memory, and her colleague teased her.

“She really did come out of the bathroom crying.”

“Really? That’s adorable!”

Tita reacted enthusiastically like she was hearing a hero story. Come to think of it, the healers were a lot like Tita.

They went on about how much money Nocturne gave them as a reward, how even the director only praises him after receiving the payment.

After the walk and a brief check-up, Tita spoke.

“Those people earlier… I think they’re from the Golden Butterfly Group. They whispered it to me.”

Why are Aria’s followers everywhere, even in the north? I clicked my tongue.

“Funny. They looked more like Nocturne’s followers to me.”

“Well, the Duke is so kind to you. If a handsome man cares for the person he loves that much, anyone would like it.”

At least for the healers, I wasn’t sure, but Tita definitely seemed like she’d joined Nocturne’s side. She scrunched her nose and smiled.

“You were right, Your Highness. The reason the Duke acted so cold must have been the brainwashing. Now I understand why you said he was like a puppy.”

“So you admit he’s a puppy.”

“No, not exactly…”

Tita shook her head awkwardly, then said,

“I don’t know what you were thinking that day, but please remember — there’s someone who loves you.”

She held my hand gently.

“I’ll stay by your side.”

Then she smiled and added,

“And of course, so will the Duke.”

Finally, I understood why Tita praised Nocturne so much. Like she said, she didn’t know the real reason I drank the poison.

She only knew that I’d been betrayed by my family, kidnapped, and had always trusted Nocturne even when he treated me coldly.

She must have thought those things piled up and pushed me to the edge.

Everything she said boiled down to this:

“Because someone loves you, please don’t give up on life.”

“Thank you, Tita…”

Looking at her bright face, I hugged her once.

It’s funny, really. The reason I want to give up my life is to protect those very people who love me.