CHAPTER 76………………
00076 Ailhart Snehin
“Where is Lydia right now?”
“Do you want to check for yourself?”
She made a small circle with her fingers. When I peered into the tiny hole, no bigger than a coin, a completely different scene unfolded. It was the most beautiful greenhouse in the White family’s garden, in full bloom with lush greenery and white flowers. It was reproduced so perfectly, beyond what my memory could ever compare to, that I stiffened in shock.
Were all those flowers from earlier picked here? So this was Bell’s ability—connecting two spaces through the little circle she made with her fingers.
I was staring curiously into the hole when I suddenly spotted a very familiar woman, and I recoiled in surprise. Clear, translucent green eyes glimmered beneath her golden hair. She was the one person I wanted to see most at this moment, and also the one I wanted to avoid more than anyone else.
“I think our eyes just met.”
When I asked nervously, Bell replied:
“She can’t see this side. Only we can see through.”
“That’s a relief.”
“It’s quite a handy ability for spying. That’s basically my main job in the merchant guild.”
She winked playfully. Ah, so that’s why the guild leader could leave for so long without much issue. If you can peek in like this, you don’t need to be bound to a place to keep things running. It was a shame no sound came through, but apparently she could even bring objects back from the other side.
I fiddled with the bouquet as I looked at Lydia through the circle. She usually wasn’t one to hide her emotions—she laughed when happy, cried when sad, and said what she wanted. But now her eyes were filled with grief and anguish, something that didn’t suit her at all.
I hugged Rupian tightly and murmured:
“I really… never tried to know anything, did I?”
Why hadn’t I tried to learn more about her earlier? Why had I let fear blind me, closing my eyes and ears to everything but revenge? What was I so afraid of, that I braced myself for wounds, decided things prematurely, and lived in pain? I could have found out and met her anytime, if I had only wanted to.
After a pause, Rupian answered my mutterings:
“I think it was the process of building a firm heart.”
“……”
“Because what you’d hear from her own mouth would hurt far more than simply wounding yourself with guesses.”
“…And if I’m not ready to be hurt yet?”
Nestled against him, I asked like a spoiled child. He replied:
“Then if it’s too painful, you can stop right there and just do whatever you want again.”
“Even if it takes a very long time?”
“What does it matter? If that’s what you want.”
Hearing those kind, predictable words, I couldn’t help but smile helplessly. Lately I’d developed a strange habit: asking childlike questions just to feel his warmth a little longer. His calm voice and steady heartbeat both thrilled me and reassured me. They even gave me a baseless confidence that everything would work out somehow.
In truth, I had finished preparing my heart ever since meeting Ailhart.
“…Actually, I want to go now.”
I gently pushed Rupian away as I spoke. He seemed about to set me down, but instead he pulled me even closer. My legs touched the ground, but his arms didn’t leave my shoulders. As I rolled my eyes at him, Bell, who had been listening quietly, shrugged with exaggerated theatrics.
“Good thinking. Honestly, when you live among demons, you lose track of time—sometimes you play for a bit and the whole world’s changed. The kid next door turns into an old grandpa before you know it. Really makes you feel the futility of time.”
“Stop scaring her.”
“I’m not scaring her. I’m saying enjoy things while you can. Human time flies in an instant.”
“To even call that ‘saying something’—you have zero delicacy.”
Bell froze in shock at Rupian’s words. She smacked her lips like a goldfish before covering her mouth in lament.
“To think I’d hear that from you… I must have really hit rock bottom.”
“Since you’re going, why not return to the guild?”
“You madman. Was that supposed to be a joke?”
“I told you to get lost three times already.”
He waved her off as if shooing a bug, then wrapped his arm around my waist. When I blinked, Bell had already vanished. Strictly speaking, Rupian had taken me elsewhere.
The scenery changed several times until we were in the middle of an unknown forest path. I tapped his shoulder, signaling to be put down. I could walk myself now. Not only walk, but even use my own abilities—dangling in his arms like this was frustrating. But Rupian only pinched my cheek and said one thing:
“Stay still.”
I puffed my cheeks, brushing his hand away.
“Are you coming with me?”
“Because you want me to.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Then let’s say I want to.”
“……”
So he knew I was secretly afraid—not just of Lydia, but of returning to the White family itself. Maybe his unusual clinginess was his own way of comforting me. I looked up at him silently, feeling guilty, and said nothing.
It seems my world still revolves around me. If I can think, ‘I have so many precious people by my side now, maybe I don’t need revenge,’ and yet feel nothing of the sort… then yes, I’m still at the center.
“…I’m sorry. For thinking only of myself.”
“…Why are you saying that?”
He looked genuinely taken aback.
“I just thought… I want to be someone like you, Rupian.”
“Like me?”
“Kind, gentle, considerate…”
“Hmph. Seems my pretense worked well.”
“Pfft.”
Rupian, pretending? The word didn’t fit him at all, and I burst out laughing. After chuckling for a while, the White family’s fortress appeared in the distance. Its ashen walls still looked uncomfortably cold and solid.
We couldn’t risk being caught now. I pressed my lips shut while Rupian cleverly guided us through blind spots in life-detection, heading for the garden. I stopped him before we got too close to the greenhouse. From the inside you could see out, but not the other way around. No need for Lydia to see Rupian too.
“I know the way from here. Thank you for bringing me.”
I whispered in his ear before walking ahead. Behind me, Rupian spoke:
“When I say I’ll always stand by your side, it means my patience is short, my temper’s foul, but I’ll put you, Elly, above all else.”
“……”
“I’ve never done anything against my will. So don’t feel guilty—it’s just self-satisfaction.”
“……”
“I’ll wait nearby.”
Stunned for a moment, I then smiled brightly and nodded before running toward the glass greenhouse.
My father—no, the head of House White—said he’d never stepped foot in this greenhouse since it was built. As if by building it he had fulfilled all his duties as a husband. He hated my mother, even despised her, but perhaps he also loved her desperately. Otherwise, why would he neglect his own child because she died giving birth to Ulysses, yet build such a greenhouse? He seemed like a child who didn’t know what to do with his feelings and turned away instead.
His love was as enormous as his hatred. Looking back now as a half-demon, I wondered—was it my very existence that caused their rift?
Half-demon. A child born of half demon’s blood and half human’s blood.
If your wife bore another man’s child, who could accept it? If it were rape, that’d be different. But if she conceived through affection for a demon, the betrayal would be unbearable. Yet the White patriarch did not cast her out for adultery, nor did he abandon me completely as a monster.
What really happened back then?
The greenhouse looked like a scene from a fairy tale. Among the flowers and trees I found a swing. I touched it—it looked brand new, neither rope nor wood rotting. Clearly, he still oversaw its maintenance despite his outward neglect. I couldn’t read him at all.
Enough with the musings. I spotted Lydia’s back among the flowers and hid behind a tree. Closing my eyes, I recalled my days as the “monster young lady.” It had been traumatic, but sharing the pain with someone precious made it easier to face.
I was simply me. No different from now.
A young lady with slightly redder skin than others, who gained weight easily, with a bit too much hair. That hair gave me thick locks that flowed down to my waist until Kant cut it off—soft and shiny like black silk. My canines stuck out like little fangs, which, come to think of it, looked rather cute.
Not too bad, really.
What, was everyone’s aesthetic sense so refined? If they were too weak to look at a face like mine, how did they even function in daily life? Smirking at my own thoughts, I stepped forward. The soft crunch of grass sounded loud in my ears.
Amid the dazzling flowers, the most radiant golden bloom—her. I tapped her frail-looking shoulder lightly. She turned, and I met her green eyes, brimming with sorrow.
To cast an illusion, first I had to make contact. Afterward, the hallucination would persist without further touch. Judging from her shocked gaze, the spell worked.
“Lydia.”
“……”
She blinked, disbelieving. Her wide eyes blinked again and again, then she rubbed them, as if afraid it was a mirage. Who wouldn’t be shocked, seeing a friend thought dead stand alive before them? I waited quietly for her to process it.
Surprise, disbelief, fear, sorrow, joy, dread—
Emotions surged across her face, impossible for her to hide. Seeing her about to cry, I almost regretted appearing like this, but I steeled myself. Only as Ailie White could I draw out her honest words.
And after all, this was my true self.
Her voice trembled:
“Ailie?”
Her body quaked like an aspen leaf, showing her terror. Most who saw a ghost would react like this—if anything, it was a relief she didn’t faint.
I smiled as kindly as I could.
“It’s been a while.”
“You’re alive…? No, impossible. I was at your funeral, everyone said you were dead…”
She mumbled, confused, reaching toward me then pulling back, over and over. Her face was pale, damp with cold sweat. Finally, she backed away.
“You’re… you’re a ghost.”
“I’m alive.”
“But you died, Ailie.”
“Lydia. The reason I’m here now is because I was almost killed unfairly. I’ve come to ask you about the truth of it all.”
“……”
“You know, don’t you?”
I tilted my head. She stayed silent for a long while, looking as if she’d collapse. Finally, she asked:
“Are you… really Ailie?”
“Yeah. I’m Ailie.”
“You’re alive?”
Instead of answering, I reached out my hand. She flinched at first, then slowly grasped it. Feeling my warmth, her doubt eased, and she accepted it: I was Ailie White, and I was alive.
“…Warm.”
“So warm…” she muttered, again and again, before breaking into sobs and throwing herself into my arms. She was even thinner than before. I froze, startled she’d embrace me so freely.
She was still such a child. Even if nobles used her, I couldn’t imagine she had schemed to kill me herself. More than sadness or joy, what I felt was heaviness.
This didn’t feel good at all.
“I’m sorry, Ailie. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”
“…Sorry for what?”
“For everything. It’s all my fault. You died because of me.”
“Lydia.”
I half-heartedly patted her back, then held her shoulders and pushed her away. She looked at me with a tear-streaked face, bewildered.
“Don’t cry. Just tell me slowly.”
“Are you really Ailie?”
“Who else would I be?”
“But the Ailie I knew…”
She trailed off, eyes quivering. Ah, she meant the Ailie White who stammered, blushed, and could barely express herself. The monster young lady pushed around by everyone, doing whatever Lydia said and often punished for it. Back then, Lydia was Ailie’s only world, her only light—so even a fleeting glimmer was chased desperately.
My attitude now shocked her, but at least she answered.
“Those five were famous since the Academy days, and so was I. With everyone connecting us, it felt natural that we became close. Foolishly, I believed it was fate that we had to be friends.”
“……”
“But it was all wrong from the start. You should never have crossed paths with them. No—meeting him was the real mistake.”
“Him?”
Lydia’s face twisted in pain as she whispered a name like a groan:
“…Michael.”
