CHAPTER 02

“A baby?”

Samuel’s eyes suddenly turned cold.

He gently pushed Vivian’s hair back behind her ear.

“Why are you asking about a baby? Jillian didn’t say anything. Are you… pregnant?”

“No!”

Vivian shook her head quickly and answered louder than she meant to. Her heart was beating fast because of the lie.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… your mother asked me the other day. She said it’s been three years since we got married and there’s still no baby…”

“Oh.”

Samuel nodded like he understood.

He lifted Vivian’s chin with his finger and looked closely at her face before speaking.

“Vivian, I thought you understood me.”

“…”

“I don’t want children. I told you before, right? I don’t need to have an heir.”

Vivian’s heart dropped.

‘I knew it.’

Her chest felt like a balloon deflating.

‘Did I really expect anything different? Vivian, get it together.’

She had always known what kind of man Samuel was.

Vivian bit her lip hard. Now, she felt more certain about what she had to do.

Samuel always kept his word. If he didn’t want children, and he found out Vivian was pregnant, he would surely tell her to get rid of the baby.

Vivian forced a smile.

“Yes, Mother didn’t believe me no matter what I said.”

Samuel let go of her chin. He seemed to believe her.

He probably never even imagined Vivian could lie to him.

He gently took her hand and pulled her along.

“Let’s go. We’re already three minutes late.”

He couldn’t even be late by three minutes—for her.

‘Would you really want me to erase this baby?’

The baby was probably only the size of a fingernail now.

As she followed Samuel, half being dragged, Vivian kept thinking.

Should she get rid of the baby? Or should she keep it?

* * *

Vivian spent many days struggling with her decision.

She had never made her own choices before. Her whole life had been controlled, so thinking deeply like this was new and difficult.

Even during her busy schedule over the past three days, she never stopped thinking about the baby.

While eating, while washing, while sleeping—

What would change if she had this child?

A child would love her without any condition.

Could she love the child back properly?

Vivian had only experienced love that was cold and controlling.

That’s why she always thought:

‘If I have a baby, I’ll raise them freely. I’ll love them so much.’

Was she really ready for that?

Vivian held her stomach gently, like protecting a secret.

A shadow suddenly appeared over her.

It was time to leave for the Snowflake Party, a big event where nobles from all over the country would attend.

“Vivian.”

“Samuel, when did you come in? I was daydreaming. We should go now.”

She tried to stand up, but Samuel softly held her shoulders down.

“Isn’t it late already? Do you have something to say, Samuel?”

“…Today, I’m going to the party with Natalia.”

Vivian blinked slowly.

Natalia. She was Samuel’s only mistress.

Vivian’s heart sank.

Almost every time Samuel changed plans, it was because of Natalia—beautiful, sweet Natalia.

Vivian’s throat felt dry.

She didn’t fall in love with Samuel from the start.

They had an arranged marriage when they were young, and over time, she thought they had grown to love each other.

Was it all just her misunderstanding?

‘Do you even love me, Samuel? What are you thinking?’

Vivian couldn’t ask the question out loud. It hurt too much.

She just pressed her lips together.

Lately, it felt like she and Samuel were growing apart.

He had secrets now. He met people she didn’t know. He had more unofficial events and never explained where he had been.

Whenever she asked…

‘That’s not your business.’

‘Something came up.’

‘Why should I tell you?’

He always answered coldly.

The wall between them was growing stronger. They stopped being honest with each other.

Vivian unconsciously touched her stomach.

It felt like the only one on her side now… was the small baby inside her.

She looked at Samuel and blinked slowly like a doll.

His perfect face showed no emotion.

“Why…?”

Is it because I’m not as beautiful as Natalia? Or not as sweet? Or not a good dancer?

Stupid, painful thoughts filled her mind.

She always asked herself these things when thinking about Natalia.

But instead of saying anything, she forced a smile.

“There’s someone Natalia needs to meet at the party, right?”

Samuel hugged her and gently kissed her forehead.

“Natalia and I are not in a relationship, Vivian. She will never enter the royal palace.”

Samuel spoke gently, trying to comfort her.

But his words were empty.

Whenever Samuel showed up with Natalia at public events, people pitied Vivian.

They whispered that Natalia was Samuel’s mistress, and soon she’d live in the palace and fight Vivian for his love.

Samuel always denied it.

‘There’s nothing between us.’

‘Nothing ever happened.’

Vivian swallowed all her words and nodded.

“…It’s fine, Samuel. If Natalia wants to go, then it’s okay.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Samuel sighed and hugged her tightly.

“I’ll come back after the party.”

That meant Vivian wouldn’t go to the party and had to stay behind, waiting.

It felt like heavy chains wrapped around her and pulled her down.

Samuel left her behind.

He didn’t understand—

That no words could comfort her now.

“Your Highness.”

Vivian shook her head at the servants who tried to comfort her.

“I’m fine. You may leave.”

“But…”

“I said leave.”

The maids had no choice but to quietly walk away.

Vivian sat in silence, gently rubbing her belly.

‘Baby…’

Samuel doesn’t understand that his gentle tone and promises mean nothing to me anymore.

She felt deeply hurt by the space Natalia took beside Samuel.

How important am I to you, Samuel? Am I even in your top priorities?

This place felt like a cold prison. The pain in her chest kept growing.

Vivian began thinking more seriously about choosing her baby over Samuel.

* * *

One morning, during her usual walk, the Duchess of Endless came to see Vivian.

They walked side by side.

The Duchess glanced at Vivian’s pale face and asked,

“Your Highness, is there still no news?”

Vivian snapped out of her thoughts.

“Mother.”

“It’s been some time since you married the Crown Prince. It’s time for a baby. A child will give you strength and happiness.”

“…Do you really think so?”

“Of course.”

The Duchess nodded.

‘My strength…’

Vivian smiled brightly but bitterly.

“I’ll try.”

She looked fine on the outside as she drank tea, but she didn’t notice the sadness in the Duchess’s eyes.

‘A baby…’

Vivian gently patted her stomach.

Some people wanted this baby. Others didn’t.

‘Samuel… I think I really want to keep this baby.’

That night, as someone gently pulled her hair back, Vivian tilted her head.

Smooch.

“Samuel…”

She blinked.

His pink eyes, like soft petals, appeared and disappeared behind her lashes.

Samuel stared into her eyes, then kissed her again.

Vivian frowned slightly from the heat of his kiss.

Her worries still weren’t over.

Even as Samuel kissed her, laid her down, climbed over her, drank her tears, whispered into her ear, and held her tightly—

Even as she drifted off to sleep—

“Vivian.”

Vivian slowly opened her eyes.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want a child. Please don’t talk about babies again.”

Vivian rested her forehead on his chest.

It felt like he wanted to stab her heart one more time, just to be sure.

He stroked her back and added,

“Even if you do get pregnant, don’t give birth.”

Vivian’s heart dropped.

My baby. Is he really telling me to erase the baby if it exists?