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FI – Chapter 8

FI - Chapter 8

As soon as I opened the door to the Bishop’s office, the first thing that caught my eye was Bishop Bertov, hunched over a pile of papers.

The moment he saw me, he waved with a welcoming smile.

“Oh, Your Most Holy Saintess! I’ve been waiting for you.”

The other priests who were helping organize the documents gave me respectful bows and quietly withdrew. I carefully took a seat.

Bishop Bertov looked noticeably more worn out than just a few days ago. With a weary sigh, he pulled out a scroll and held it up for me to see.

“The Inquisition has sent an official request to the Temple. They want Your Most Holy Saintess to ‘demonstrate a miracle at a public service.’ This here is a summary of their request.”

The instant I heard that, it felt like my heart just plummeted. Damn it, so it’s finally come to this.

“Haha, as you know, Bishop, that’s entirely up to the will of Callisto.”

I pressed a hand over my chest, struggling to steady myself.

Up to now, I’d managed to dodge situations by insisting, ‘I’m not God, so miracles aren’t within my control.’

But would that excuse still work this time? Highly doubtful.

Bishop Bertov’s face turned sympathetic.

“Even so, the Inquisition is quite determined this time. They’re saying ‘now is the time to officially confirm the Saintess’ divine power.’ They want to hold a public service so that Your Most Holy Saintess can manifest a true miracle.”

‘Oh fuck, I am… completely cornered.’

I wanted to clutch my head and groan, but I forced myself not to. Making a scene would just make the Bishop look at me strangely. I had to stay calm on the outside.

But inside, my mind was just spinning with ‘the end is nigh, the end is nigh.’

The Bishop peeked at me, then let out a long sigh.

“Somehow it seems the atmosphere around this is quite serious. Perhaps there’s been a change of heart. Still, I have unwavering faith in you, Your Most Holy Saintess.”

He clasped my hands tightly, his eyes shining with devotion.

“I witnessed that prayer myself, remember? You’ve already performed what might as well be called miracles multiple times. Let’s seize this chance to settle all debates about Your Most Holy Saintess once and for all!”

Settle? More like I’m shaking in terror of being exposed!

I wanted to burst into tears, but outwardly, I managed a strained smile.

“…Understood, Bishop. I’ll do my very best.”

There was nothing else I could say. What could a fake Saintess even do?

But if I shouted ‘That’s impossible!’ here, it wouldn’t just end in disappointment—who knew what disaster it might lead to. So I had no choice but to feed him false hope.

The Bishop’s face lit up with almost ridiculous delight.

“As expected of our Saintess! I’ll do everything I can to assist. Preparations are already underway. The public service will be as grand as possible, so Your Most Holy Saintess needn’t worry about a thing—simply commune with God and manifest His miracle.”

My chest tightened painfully.

Manifest a miracle… How the hell am I supposed to pull that off?

The Bishop rose from his seat and gave a polite nod.

Just then, someone knocked on the office door. At the Bishop’s permission, a priest entered carrying an armful of documents. Looked like lists of attendees and the schedule for the ceremony, packed tightly across the pages.

The Bishop flipped through a few sheets, then turned to me.

“We’ll need to review the order of the service and the names of those attending ahead of time.”

Ugh… In just a few days, they expect me to perform the Saintess’ miracle right before their eyes. This is beyond overwhelming.

I glanced sideways at the priests scurrying about. All of them were bustling with eager anticipation, faces bright with hope. Meanwhile I was the only one looking like death.

“The Inquisitor will also be reviewing these materials soon in preparation for the event. I imagine he’ll have more questions or might request something directly of Your Most Holy Saintess.”

The Bishop added this while flipping through the documents.

“Still, I believe that this time, Inquisitor Leonardt may finally lay his doubts to rest. Didn’t the two of you pray together? Hoho.”

Pretty sure he’s out to get revenge on me for that.

I gave a weak inward laugh, then nodded mildly.

In my mind, dread over ‘if I’m exposed, it’s all over’ was fighting with the faintest spark of ‘maybe, just maybe…’

But no matter how much I thought about it, in the end there was only one thing I could do.

‘Try my absolute best to bullshit my way through this.’

 

***

 

I hurried back to my room. Then immediately started brainstorming potential con scenarios in my head.

That’s when a familiar voice suddenly cut in.

—Scheming up nonsense again, are we?

Short, heavy, resonant. It was the voice of this world’s one and only God, Callisto.

—Stop these foolish antics and prepare to pay for your sin of impersonating a Saintess!

His voice was majestic and underlaid with wrath as always, though honestly it seemed less fiery than before. Probably because he was tired out from all my shameless scams.

“Hey, you old— uh, Almighty One. Isn’t that wording a bit harsh given all we’ve been through?”

If I accidentally called him ‘old man’ again, I’d be screwed. So I switched tones faster than lightning.

—Only now do you remember proper honorifics? Too late! You have falsely invoked My name. Of course there must be retribution…

“Oh come on, lives are on the line here! I’m desperate, you know? I just need to get through this one more time.”

—Enough. Whatever you do, do not drag Me into it.

“…You seriously won’t help? I’m the victim here, you know?”

—A swindler, more like!

“Figures. So it’s a no. Fine, you old fart. Just sit back and watch. I’ll keep cooking up these juicy fat lies on my own.”

—Such insolent words! Very well. Do as you please. But I suspect this time… your schemes will finally be exposed. Ha!

With a bright laugh, the God fell silent, leaving my mind in heavy stillness once again.

Well, I hadn’t expected anything anyway. Still stung a little, though.

No, scratch that—this wasn’t the time to feel stung.

I needed to focus on cooking up a convincing lie.

I grabbed some paper and a quill off the desk.

Alright, is there some way to fake a miracle?

First idea: Use stage effects?
Time it so sunlight pours dramatically through the stained glass, maybe set up some hidden mechanisms to make radiant beams shine down.
Problem: Leonardt’s sharp as hell. If anything feels even slightly off, it’ll be confirmed as fake.

Second idea: Hire a fake patient?
Slip them some cash to say, “The Saintess’ prayer healed me!”
Problem: It’s a public event. Too easy to get caught. Leonardt would immediately suspect it’s an actor.

Third idea: Spin it with clever words?
Repeat stuff like, “The miracle isn’t what you see—it’s what dwells in our hearts!”
Problem: They’re probably past being convinced by flowery lines alone.

Ugh…!”

No matter what I came up with, there were glaring flaws that could blow the con wide open. With Leonardt watching with a magnifying glass, any sloppy trick would end my future right there.

He wasn’t looking for eloquence. He wanted hard, indisputable evidence of a miracle.

Haaah, there’s really no way, is there…”

I let out a small groan, slumping back against the wall. But then, in a tiny corner of my heart, another faint hope began to whisper.

But what if… another coincidence happens? Like last time, when I touched someone and they suddenly got better.

And then… I let slip a piece of my private desperation.

“Maybe, if the generous and warmhearted God would kindly change His mind and lend a hand…”

—I am indeed generous and warm, but I have not the slightest intention of aiding your fraud.

“…So stingy, seriously.”

With a soft sigh, I returned to racking my brain for a plausible con.

Then it hit me.

Wait a sec… didn’t I win first place at the company retreat talent show?

They’d dangled a $1,000 department store gift card as the prize, so I’d gone at it like a madwoman. Practiced a ridiculous idol dance day and night, but given my utter lack of natural talent, first place was laughably out of reach.

That’s when I’d come up with crowd psychology. Got my teammates to hype up my performance like crazy. Even bribed Deputy Park and Manager Kim with cookies and coffee so they’d give me standing ovations!

And look—this place is no different. In fact, it’s easier here. I don’t even have to hand out bribes. Just a few hopeful words and they’re all worshipping me.

When I’d thrown out vague positive lines in the consultation room, they’d gasped. When I’d laid a hand on someone for a so-called healing prayer, they’d gone wild with excitement.

So what if…

I went all in on crowd psychology again?

 
 

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False Idol

False Idol

신성한 사기극
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2025 Native Language: Korean

“May I verify your divine power, Saintess?”

All I ever wanted was to live an easy life!

So why am I stuck playing community therapist, healing the sick, caring for animals, dishing out blessings, and am even smack in the middle of this congregation?

And now I'm supposed to juggle all that while getting investigated?

What sort of scammer busts their *ss this hard? BFFR? ~

Male Lead: Leonardt — An inquisitor with sharp eyes. With his keen insight, he grows suspicious of Adeline’s true identity and keeps her under constant watch. But through their endless bickering, he gradually develops special feelings for her.

Female Lead: Adeline — Just an ordinary office worker who collapsed from overwork. Then one day she wakes up to find herself treated like a Saintess. At first, she planned to live comfortably as a fake saint, but instead she finds herself right in the thick of every grueling work site imaginable.

When to read this: When you want a delightful love story about a con artist overflowing with genuine feelings.

Relatable quote: “Let’s try bullsh*tting with all our might.” . . . 💟 Translator Notes 💟 DROPPED. May pick up again if we start adding R19 to the site.

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