Chapter 36

“If you had understood how I felt, we wouldn’t be anything right now.”

He scoffed at himself, brushing it off as if it were some sort of self-mockery. It felt like an affirmation.

“Seems I have too many secrets you don’t know, huh? After all, you didn’t even know I was a virgin… or that I wasn’t impotent.”

The words slipped out unfiltered, and she felt herself flushing crimson. The ends of the sentence trailed off awkwardly. The warmth rose sharply to her cheeks, burning. Because she knew better than anyone that he was neither a virgin nor impotent.

“That’s a matter for you to keep exploring later.”

“Then what about that thing you said before? Helping you until you’re with another woman… that we’d continue being FWB until then?”

What am I going to do, Seong? I don’t think I can do that anymore. My heart flutters every time I’m with you, making ‘just friends with benefits’ too painful. What am I supposed to do if you end up giving your body—and heart—to someone else? Somehow, it feels like it’ll break mine.

“Didn’t I say I’d think more about it? Anyway, you won’t be seeing much of me soon. Might be a few days… maybe weeks.”

“Business trip to Goseong?”

“How’d you know?”

“Because it’s your next project, isn’t it?”

He smiled faintly, and for some reason, she felt an ominous weight to that smile, a hint of something she didn’t want to ask about.

A Day Before the Trip to Goseong

She was busy tidying up her suitcase. It had been packed a few days ago at Dohoon’s place, so it wouldn’t take long to remove or add a few things. The weekend passed quickly, and she hadn’t heard from Iseong at all. She hadn’t called him, either.

Until recently, a day without talking felt empty. They used to text endlessly, exchanging messages about the tiniest details of everyday life, enjoying each other’s company. But now? Iseong felt like a rising star, an aura that pressed down on her, making him harder and harder to approach.

With a long sigh, she was folding a black t-shirt when the doorbell rang. Did she have a visitor? Curious, she left the room and walked toward the living room.

There, standing in the entryway, was Iseong’s mother, Aunt Yein, talking to her mom. Upon noticing her, Yein smiled.

“Hey, Jeong-ah. You’re home? I came to ask if you’re doing okay. You’re looking well! I was worried when I heard about the broken engagement, but you seem to be doing better than ever.”

Yein pulled her to the sofa, brushing hair out of her face and looking at her with concern.

“Are you okay?”

What was she supposed to say? Normally she’d whine to her aunt and say, “No, I’m not okay.” But now? Somehow she couldn’t bring herself to complain. Not when memories of what had happened with Iseong surged like a wave of guilt.

What would Yein say if she knew about it? Even if she tried to justify it as helping Iseong, she had clearly enjoyed it herself, and felt a spark in doing so.

How could she tell Yein that she’d been on the verge of getting married herself, almost a wife? Yet she had crossed that line with Yein’s son.

“Actually, I’m doing really well. Honestly, I’m grateful the engagement ended. It would’ve been a disaster if I had gone through with it.”

“Really? What happened? There must have been some reason you felt like this.”

“Oh, you know… I just don’t think marriage is for me. Might be better to live on my own for the rest of my life.”

“What? Suddenly making a declaration about staying single?”

“Yeah. Being alone feels more comfortable.”

“Something big must’ve happened, huh?”

She smiled awkwardly, brushing the subject aside. The more questions came, the closer she felt to exposing the tangled nature of her and Iseong’s relationship.

At that moment, her mom brought a cup of plum tea to the table and returned to the kitchen to cook lunch.

Yein watched her mom walk away and spoke aloud for her to hear, “Why doesn’t your mom seem to care, even when her daughter breaks an engagement?”

“Ha-ha. My mom’s the epitome of ‘cool and chic.’”

“Yeah, I admire that about her. Not everyone can pull it off. I wish I could be like that, too.”

Yein smiled bitterly. As the wife of a man from a prestigious law firm, she had felt the sting of living in a traditional, patriarchal household. Jeong could understand why Yein felt weighed down.

Iseong had sighed about it countless times when he was younger. An authoritative father, a struggling mother… hardships that shaped him.

“Yein, Iseong admires you so much. You’re amazing. Don’t undermine your worth.”

“Ha-ha. Thanks, Jeong.”

Yein smiled and called out to Jeong’s mom, “You’ve raised an incredible daughter.”
“Of course. Whose daughter do you think she is?” Jeong’s mom replied, shrugging, making Yein laugh.

Still, deep down, guilt twisted within Jeong.

Then Yein suddenly pulled out a luxurious handbag and placed a stack of photographs on the table. The images were like polished profiles, five beautiful women posed elegantly.

“Jeong-ah, what do you think?”

“Uh… who are these? New hires? Secretaries?”

“Which one do you like?”

“Like? What do you mean? In terms of looks? Personality? What am I supposed to be judging?”

That was when a sharp suspicion crossed her mind. Surely not… right?

“Wait. Are you setting Iseong up on a date?”

“You know his father… so stubborn and old-fashioned. He got profiles from a fortuneteller, saying Iseong’s almost 30. Even with his acting career booming, his father won’t listen. So he wants him to try a ‘modern-style’ blind date.”

“Will Iseong really agree? He’s too focused on acting right now. He doesn’t have the time. The guy’s going to dominate the acting world soon… you really think he’ll want a blind date?”

“Of course, he’ll scoff at it. I don’t expect him to take it seriously. But I have to show results to his father… make it an experience for him. Maybe you can talk to him for me?”

“Me? Why me?”

What am I supposed to say? Encourage him? Push him toward someone else? The very person she had promised to ‘help’ until he found someone?

If she hadn’t felt anything for him, she would’ve cheered. But now? It felt like trying to hand him over herself. Could she stand watching him walk away with one of these women? Could she bear being the stepping stone that guides him to someone else?

“Jeong-ah, he always listens to you. Will you try?”

“Yein… you know how stubborn he is. Even if I tell him, he won’t listen. And if news of this date goes public, it could hurt him. You understand that, right?”

“They said they can keep it quiet. No gossip. And it doesn’t have to be a formal date. Just a ‘natural’ meeting at a party or an event. Could you introduce him to someone?”

Yein’s hopeful, bright gaze felt like a weight pressing down. What if Iseong met someone? What if he fell for one of those elegant women? What if he gave one of them his heart?

If this had been before she felt herself falling for him, she would’ve smiled and said, “Sure.” But now? The thought felt like a dagger aimed at her chest.

If Iseong and one of these women connected… would everyone just assume it was for the best?