Chapter 46
I Want to Win Back Your Heart
“There’s a condition if I’m going to let it slide.”
A condition?
What kind of condition could he mean?
As I swallowed nervously, Cedric’s lips slowly parted once more.
“I want you to keep your distance from Adrian.”
From Adrian? Why…?
When I looked at him, bewildered, Cedric let out a short sigh.
“If one day someone misinterprets your closeness with Adrian, it could reveal that we’re divorced, couldn’t it?”
That was something Cedric, who was in the same boat as me, had every right to worry about.
I nodded slowly and continued.
“You’re right. I hadn’t thought that far.”
“……”
“Then, as you say.”
A faint, satisfied smile spread across Cedric’s lips.
But it didn’t last long.
“Until our divorce is officially announced, and I leave this castle.”
At my words, the smile at the corner of Cedric’s lips quickly vanished.
For a brief moment, I thought I saw a flicker of anxiety cross his face.
Cedric remained silent for a while, just moving his lips.
It was only after a short time that his mouth opened again.
“…Rebecca, so, I was thinking.”
His deep voice once again resonated quietly near my ear.
“How about coming back to the House of Light?”
“The… House of Light?”
I asked, and Cedric slowly nodded.
“Yes. At the House of Darkness, you’re bound to run into Adrian frequently.”
“……”
“Vincent Norman… that lunatic also bothers me.”
I remained silent for a while after he spoke.
When I didn’t respond quickly, Cedric’s eyebrows arched in impatience.
It was clear he wanted to prompt me.
“…It’s just such a sudden proposal.”
I finally began speaking, my voice slow.
“But really, it’s unexpected. I never imagined you—someone so proud—would make such a suggestion.”
At that moment, Cedric’s expression darkened slightly.
He seemed to think I was still blaming him for the past.
“I’m surprised because it’s really an unexpected offer, don’t misunderstand.”
“……”
“It’s not because I still harbor resentment toward you. I don’t have such feelings left.”
I had no lingering feelings of love or hate toward Cedric.
That might have been true for the old Rebecca, but not for me now.
‘I do find myself thinking about Cedric unconsciously… but that’s not hatred or affection.’
Yet, hearing my words, Cedric looked troubled, as if he’d bitten his tongue.
He bit his lower lip slightly, then finally spoke.
“I admit that for a long time, I was indifferent to you, no…”
“……”
“I acted cruelly, coldly, almost ruthlessly.”
Cedric muttered under his breath, loosening his tie as if frustrated.
“…Yes. Now, I have no choice but to admit it.”
His blue gaze, which had been staring at his wine glass, shifted back to me.
“I misunderstood you for too long. And now I understand.”
“……”
“That my indifference had such an effect on you.”
A faint ripple passed over his blue eyes.
That gaze… that voice.
Every ounce of it carried genuine sincerity.
‘…If the old Rebecca had heard him say that, how happy she would have been.’
I had a fleeting thought like that.
But sadly, I was no longer the old Rebecca.
And what Cedric called a “misunderstanding” wasn’t truly one.
The previous Rebecca—not me now—had been a truly cruel person.
Perhaps because of that, I felt that just as much as I had suffered because of the old Rebecca, it would be unfair to let Cedric carry unnecessary guilt as well.
In a way, Cedric was one of the people hurt by Rebecca.
I gazed at Cedric quietly before slowly parting my lips.
“It’s not a misunderstanding.”
“……”
“It’s not because of you that I acted so viciously. My past mistakes were entirely mine, and there’s no excuse for them.”
“Rebecca…”
“But I truly appreciate how deeply you’ve thought about me all this time.”
I paused to catch my breath.
“So don’t feel unnecessary guilt toward me, someone who’s now just an ex-wife.”
“……”
“And as for your suggestion to come back… I truly appreciate it, but…”
Again, I spoke softly yet firmly.
“I have no intention of returning to the House of Light.”
At my words, Cedric blinked slowly, as if slightly shocked.
An awkward silence lingered for a while.
Finally, the question that came from Cedric’s lips was entirely unlike him:
“…Why?”
I blinked slowly at him.
I hadn’t expected him to ask for a reason.
I assumed that if I refused, he would simply think, “What a shame, but there’s nothing I can do,” and step back.
‘I thought I had Cedric’s reactions figured out… was I too careless?’
I tried to hide my panic and looked at Cedric again.
“Our contract was just a temporary arrangement, after all.”
I said it as if it were obvious, but Cedric shook his head firmly.
“I don’t care about contracts anymore. What matters to me now is your intention.”
His continued insistence was unusual for him.
I couldn’t help but tilt my head in bewilderment.
“But I feel more comfortable here. Unlike the House of Light, the staff at the House of Darkness listen to me more.”
When I finally answered, slightly puzzled, Cedric spoke as if he had been waiting for this.
“You don’t have to worry about the staff. If they ever make you uncomfortable, I won’t leave it be.”
“You… would punish the half-demon staff for my sake?”
Cedric cared for half-demons as if they were his own family.
And now, he would punish them for the sake of the ex-wife he once despised?
I stared at him in disbelief, then shook my head.
“No, that would only make them hate me more. I can’t do that.”
I had no desire to earn more hatred from the half-demons.
Cedric adjusted his eyebrows, looking troubled.
“Then what about Bianca?”
“Why Bianca?”
“You know she’s been eagerly waiting for your return to the House of Light.”
I was at a loss for words when Bianca’s name came up.
Of course, I wanted to grant her wish.
But that sweet child was the main reason I didn’t want to return to the House of Light.
The contract period was almost over, and when it ended, I would have to leave this castle.
I couldn’t deceive young Bianca, much less torment her hopes.
“…Even if I return to the House of Light for Bianca, we’d only have a few months together.”
I spoke coldly on purpose.
“If I get too attached here and then leave the castle… it’ll only hurt Bianca more.”
Thinking of Bianca, my heart grew heavy.
I exhaled in frustration and furrowed my brows.
‘Cedric, why are you suddenly acting like this?’
I couldn’t understand why Cedric’s feelings had changed so abruptly.
After all, he had been the one to suggest separation before announcing the divorce.
Though we had maintained a friendly relationship since then… that alone wasn’t a reason to suggest living together again.
‘He wouldn’t cling to me this persistently just because I refused.’
Cedric’s motives began to seem suspicious.
It annoyed me slightly that he toyed with my feelings like this.
“What’s the reason for suddenly acting like this?”
I asked, half in reproach.
My eyes surely revealed both suspicion and caution.
Cedric silently stared back at me.
After a long moment, he let out a self-deprecating laugh, his face slightly darkened.
“Now… our roles have truly reversed.”
His voice carried a bitter tone.
I looked at him in confusion. He took a long breath and continued.
“You cling to me, and I… you suspect my intentions. This situation.”
“……”
“During our marriage, it was always the opposite.”
For a brief moment, Cedric’s usually composed blue eyes fell silent.
“I think I finally understand how you felt back then.”
“……”
“…Now I finally get it.”
Such a bitter expression was so unlike him.
I tried to hide my surprise and think of comforting words.
“Cedric, you don’t need to think about that now.”
“……”
“We’re already divorced. In a few months, we’ll have no reason to see each other again.”
“……”
“So it’s best to let the past go…”
Just as I was about to continue, Cedric spoke.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can.”
His tone was gentle yet firm.
“I don’t want to think about just letting you go. And thinking about you leaving my castle in a few months…”
He paused, then quietly confessed his feelings.
“Sometimes, it becomes unbearably painful.”
Cedric slowly raised his head to look at me again.
“I regret the moment I decided to divorce you. And until your heart leaves me… I regret my own foolishness for not knowing anything.”
At that moment, I couldn’t help but doubt my ears.
Regret…?
Was that a word that fit Cedric?
I blinked, disbelieving.
Cedric gave a slight, self-deprecating smile and continued.
“I only realized this now, and I can’t let you go. So give me one last chance.”
His blue eyes were filled with sincere emotion.
“Rebecca, I want to win back your heart.”
Cedric’s words flowed out one after another, leaving me stunned.
How long had I been blinking blankly at this unreal situation?
My heartbeat gradually, very gradually, began to speed up, spreading through my whole body.
From then on, I could hardly calm myself.
I tried to steady my mind, avoiding his unwavering gaze.
‘Those words… Cedric wants me…’
In that brief instant, I felt a faint joy.
And surprisingly, the next emotion that crossed me was fear.
Since arriving in this world, I had focused on surviving and maintaining my daily life.
Or at least, I tried to.
Yet sometimes, in trivial, everyday moments—before sleeping, lifting a teacup, or looking out the window—pain would suddenly visit me.
Moments from my past life, whispering love with my husband, supporting each other’s dreams, and relying on him for rest.
And the cruel truths hidden in that peaceful daily life…
I now felt disillusionment toward the shallow, secretive love we had feigned, keeping secrets from each other.
‘I don’t even want to start that kind of relationship. I don’t want to get hurt anymore.’
Countless thoughts raced through my mind like a slideshow.
The excitement from Cedric’s confession had already settled.
I sipped my tea, placed the cup down slowly, and spoke.
“The Duke of Bold said something strange.”
“……”
“It was the day he suddenly visited.”
Watching Cedric quietly wait for me to continue, I spoke again.
“What exactly is Lillian’s Heart?”
At my question, Cedric’s face briefly showed surprise.
As expected.
Yet perhaps, deep down, I desperately hoped…
“Could you… also tell me?”
