EEWL 09

Chapter 9

‘I have a bad feeling about this.’

There was a time when I wished for it—if you were just going to pretend, then drop the act and show me your contempt. If you did, then I wouldn’t get swayed. I could hate you without thinking twice.

But what I always got in return was the same apology. You never showed your true feelings.

“Because it’s dangerous… I just want you to be safe, maid.”

“……”

“Because you’re important to me.”

When will that mask finally come off? Those eyes that look at me with pure affection, without a trace of ulterior motive. That bright smile you greet me with whenever I come near, wrapping around me like sunlight.

Just like now. You, who I know so little about, only become clear to me in moments like this. Even though I know it’s a lie, I want to be fooled.

“Someone as ordinary as me?”

But I can’t let that happen. It’s always been like this.

“Because you care about me. So… I worry too.”

This, too, is a lie. I can’t keep repeating the same foolish actions. I pushed down the rising unease and kept reminding myself. I recalled the moment I resolved to kill you.

“I’m scared… that because of me, you’ll get hurt.”

That snapped me back into focus. And then, the child started crying.

Grabbing onto his clothes, biting his lip, the tears in his eyes spilled down his cheeks. No matter how many times he wiped them away, they kept coming.

“I’m sorry.”

Even now, you apologize. I held my breath.

‘Now I understand.’

The meaning of that apology was obvious. I didn’t want to know, but my memories made it clear.

It was an apology for being alive. You must be blaming yourself, thinking that if only you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be getting hit by Leticia.

I knew that. But it still disgusted me.

“Don’t apologize. It was my choice.”

So I refused his apology.

But it hadn’t been a choice. I had no choice but to become a maid. That was the role I was given after transmigrating into this extra’s body.

But I lied. For the child I was supposed to kill, I spoke of a choice I was never given.

“Even if I end up in danger, it’s not your fault.”

“Even if I’m the reason you’re in danger?”

It’s time to admit it. I’ve been shaken again, like a fool.

“It’s still my choice.”

That ominous feeling turned out to be right. Despite dying so many times, seeing you like this makes me forget all of them.

I gave up on living a long time ago, but letting you go is what’s truly hard. I always end up getting swayed by you like a fool.

‘…This can’t go on.’

My nails dug into my palm. The sharp pain brought back old memories.

This was just a passing feeling. If I survive, I’ll want to kill you again. I’ll regret not killing you. I’ve gone through this kind of conflict too many times—I can already see the future.

That’s why I must kill you. No matter how I feel right now, I have to do it.

The future I saw was one of endless despair. I didn’t want to fall any further.

It had been a peaceful day, yet I couldn’t shake the unease. The hallucinations in my ears wouldn’t stop.

‘Maybe it’s because tonight’s the night I kill you.’

The anxiety lasted until evening. It seemed you hadn’t noticed, but…

‘Focus.’

I couldn’t keep doing this.

Slap—

I slapped my cheek lightly and pulled myself together.

The plan was the same. I’d kill you while you slept. But the odds of success were low. Just like before, the system would probably interfere.

[Extra: Nameless Maid]

I checked the unchanging system window. It always reminded me this world was a game.

“What do you want from me?”

I once asked that question over and over until the mirror shattered. When can I die? Why won’t you let me?

I asked countless questions, but the system never changed. As if I didn’t need to know. As if it didn’t owe me an answer.

In the end, I guessed it was because they needed a maid. But that was only speculation. Even after three years, I knew nothing.

I had no certainties—only more guesses.

‘But maybe that ends now.’

Until now, I always stopped when you noticed. I wanted to kill you before you figured it out. But that never worked. I couldn’t kill you that way.

So now, I couldn’t back down. Even if the system interfered, I had to see it through. Whether it was you or me who died.

I didn’t want to hover in the middle anymore.

Sneaking into your room was the same as last time. I waited until you fell asleep, hid my presence, and slipped inside. The moonlight lit up your sleeping face. You lay perfectly still on your back.

You were definitely asleep. I was just about to step closer—

Clatter—

The window rattled slightly, as if to stop me. Too deliberate for mere wind. I wanted to believe it was nothing. But the faint shadow made that impossible.

Of course—it was an assassin.

‘The system already intervened?’

Otherwise, there’d be no reason for an assassin to show up again. This didn’t happen often.

I swallowed my sigh and ducked behind the wardrobe. They entered the room the same way as before. I watched the assassin step inside and swallowed dryly.

‘Can I handle this?’

…The hesitation was brief.

I had already decided to see it through. No matter what happened, I had to kill you tonight.

That’s why I came here. I steadied my resolve and observed the situation. The assassin moved with precision.

He pulled out a sharp blade and crept toward you. He probably wouldn’t kill you. You’re the protagonist, after all.

‘But why…’

I didn’t understand myself.

Maybe because I’d saved you too many times—my body moved instinctively. It defied logic, but I couldn’t stop.

I silently moved behind the assassin. Drew my own blade. Watched him closely.

I clamped a hand over his mouth and drove the blade into him. I hadn’t planned it, but my body moved smoothly, like water.

‘Is this… okay?’

There was no time to think. I sliced his throat before he could react.

Slash—

The assassin’s eyes widened in delayed realization.

“You—!”

But he didn’t finish. He didn’t even get to close his eyes before he collapsed.

He died instantly. I wiped the blood from my face with my sleeve. Then, blinking through the sticky gore, I threw the body into a corner.

‘Stupid till the end.’

This body couldn’t leave you in danger. But now that the nuisance was dealt with, it should be easier to kill you. I looked at your sleeping form.

‘If I stab this in…’

You’ll die.

I looked between the bloodied knife and you.

The system might block me. Even a fatal wound might not kill you. Whatever happens, I hope I die instead. I hope I don’t wake up again. But if I survive—

‘I’ll do this all over again.’

I had already expected that. I knew it from the start.

But facing it in reality, I was afraid. It felt like I was breaking more and more. I was terrified of what I’d become after killing you.

If I didn’t kill you, I’d regret it. But if I did, I’d still regret it.

‘What am I supposed to do?’

I felt pathetic. It should be simple—just kill you.

But I couldn’t even do that. No matter how many times I resolved myself, I always wavered. I felt like a complete fool.

‘Didn’t I swear I wouldn’t do this anymore?’

I didn’t want to become any more miserable. I had to die. I didn’t want to live this life anymore. So I couldn’t stop. Even if I regretted it—as long as I could die…

‘I have to do it.’

I let out a slow breath and closed my eyes. I raised the knife. My trembling hand barely had any strength.

‘It’s okay.’

I didn’t even know what was okay, but I reassured myself. I pushed away the doubts and plunged the blade toward your heart.

Thunk—

A chilling sound echoed. When I cracked my eyes open, a blue system message filled my vision:

[An error has been detected.]

“…I’m sorry.”

And there you were—awake, staring at me. But I wasn’t surprised.

[Danger level: 90%]

My knife hadn’t pierced your chest.

‘It missed.’