Episode 4
Both of them, who had been raising their voices, turned to look at me at the same time.
I gave them an awkward smile.
Damn this body. At all times, it had to be now.
“Mia.”
Father’s eyes widened in surprise, and he called me by my nickname.
I coughed a few more times, then quietly offered a greeting.
“Good morning, Father.”
The situation looked anything but good though at least the weather was nice.
“You’re not supposed to be out of your bedroom.”
I tried to keep smiling faintly while glancing out the window, but Father frowned as he spoke.
From his expression, it was clear he wasn’t pleased to see me here.
He must have told Tina to stay by my side so I wouldn’t leave the bedroom, and yet here I was. No wonder he was unsettled.
I’d have to smooth things over later so Tina wouldn’t get scolded because of me.
“It was a little noisy outside,” I explained.
Thanks to that, I woke up suddenly and got kicked out of that strange dream for no reason at all.
I kept my polite smile and spoke clearly.
Come to think of it, what even was that dream? It didn’t seem like a proper dream. And the owner of that dream…
I definitely couldn’t just ignore him.
“This child…”
Just then, a low voice came from in front of me. I snapped to attention and looked at the man standing there.
What? What are you staring at?
“So you are ‘that daughter.’”
In his eyes, I caught a small trace of pity. For a loan shark, he wasn’t a complete monster after all.
Ah, in that case—please, look closely. See how sickly I am.
I immediately loosened the focus in my eyes and gave him a pale-faced greeting.
“Hel—cough!—hello… I hope I’m not… cough, cough!—interrupting anything…”
How’s that for my award-worthy “frail invalid” performance? Though, to be fair, about 90% of it is real.
As I spoke in my barely-breathing voice, he muttered under his breath:
“…They said she might not last the day.”
Yes, that’s right. It’s been about seven years of “not lasting the day.” Gets old after a while.
“Ahem.”
After a few seconds of eye contact, the man cleared his throat and looked away.
Inside, I smiled in relief. Judging from that look, I’d say he was leaving—for today.
“For the sake of your daughter, I’ll leave now. Be glad I also have a girl about her age.”
His voice had softened compared to before, though before leaving the sitting room, he turned back to give one last warning.
“I’ll return at the end of the month for the interest. If the money still isn’t ready by then…”
“…”
“I won’t be so lenient next time.”
With that, he slammed the sitting room door and left the mansion.
I watched Father’s shoulders sag with exhaustion and let out a long sigh to match his.
Forget strange dreams—first, we had to deal with the fire burning in our own house.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
When we were finally alone in the sitting room, Father broke the awkward silence first.
Still sitting on the sofa, he ran a hand through his hair again and again. I walked over slowly and sat beside him.
“Father.”
The deep lines on his forehead told of years far heavier than his age.
If I’d been healthy, he wouldn’t have had to go through all this. Of course, if I said that out loud, he’d scold me for talking nonsense.
“How much did you borrow?”
Instead of offering shallow comfort, I asked to understand the situation.
Not that I expected an answer. Father wasn’t the kind of man who would answer such a question.
“You don’t need to worry about that, Mia.”
Yup. As expected. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to find out.
I pressed my lips together and fidgeted with my fingers.
‘Mother must know about this too.’
She was working as a lady-in-waiting to the Grand Duke these days, but Father wouldn’t hide something like this from her.
Which meant the situation was beyond even Mother’s ability to fix.
And since he’d turned into a loan shark, it was obvious he’d been paying debts with more debts until nothing was left to put up as collateral, leaving him unable to borrow any further.
It even made me wonder why Tina was still here.
“My lady!”
Speak of the devil—Tina rushed into the sitting room, carrying a tray with a glass of water.
It looked like she’d run here, but the water hadn’t spilled a drop. That’s Tina for you.
I waved at her as if I knew nothing.
She shot me a glare that could set fire to paper, then glanced at Father and bowed her head.
“I’m sorry, Master. I shouldn’t have left her side…”
“No, it’s fine. Mia must have slipped away again. The fault is mine for failing to quiet the disturbance.”
“That’s right, Father. Tina’s not at fault.”
At my words, both their eyes narrowed to thin slits. I had been interrupted at the worst possible time.
If I hadn’t come, he’d probably still be getting an earful from that man.
I pouted briefly, then placed my hand gently over Father’s.
Before anything else, there was something I needed to make clear.
“Father.”
He rolled his eyes toward me, meeting my gaze.
In his blue eyes, I saw my reflection—dull, brittle hair, hollow cheeks, dry lips.
Not beautiful by anyone’s standard, except to him, his only precious daughter.
“I hope you won’t waste any more of the family fortune because of me.”
It hurt to have to say this to him.
“Miena.”
“You’ve already tried so hard.”
They had done everything possible to keep me alive this long. By all rights, I should have died years ago.
“Don’t say such things, Mia.”
His voice was firmer now than when he’d faced the loan shark.
But this time, I wasn’t backing down.
Loan sharks? Not!
“You spent so much, and this is the result, Father.”
“How can you call it wasting…”
“We have to be realistic. Even after I’m gone, you and everyone in this mansion still have to go on living.”
“Don’t talk nonsense!”
His frown deepened with each word, until finally he pushed my hand away and shouted.
I didn’t look away from the anger, guilt, pity, and pain in his eyes. Instead, I slowly lifted the corners of my lips.
“I just want to spend the time I have left without worrying about anything, Dad.”
“…”
“I want to go places with you, see beautiful things… and if I can eat, taste delicious food too.”
I truly didn’t want to see everyone here suffering because of me anymore.
I’d already been given so much love and had already lived a happy life.
Now I just didn’t want them to hurt for my sake any longer.
“You talk like you’re leaving soon.”
After some time in silence, Father finally spoke in a low, tired voice.
I took his hand again and replied,
“I know my own body best.”
No matter what I did, I wouldn’t survive this winter. I could feel death creeping closer every moment—just like it had in my previous life.
“It’s time to prepare.”
To prepare for our parting.
I said it as calmly as ever, but Father’s eyes turned red.
He shook his head several times as if refusing to accept it, then stroked my hand with trembling fingers and exhaled a long breath.
Tina, looking like she was about to cry, quickly lowered her head when our eyes met.
I pretended not to notice the water stain on the rug and exhaled shallowly.
The pain squeezing my heart was already a familiar feeling.
Hmm… I hadn’t meant to set such a gloomy mood. I just wanted to say, “Don’t borrow from loan sharks because of me.”
However, it somehow turned into a somber atmosphere. A bit early for that…
“Sometimes I think…”
Once again, it was Father who broke the heavy silence.
Episode 4
Both of them, who had been raising their voices, turned to look at me at the same time.
I gave them an awkward smile.
Damn this body. At all times, it had to be now.
“Mia.”
Father’s eyes widened in surprise, and he called me by my nickname.
I coughed a few more times, then quietly offered a greeting.
“Good morning, Father.”
The situation looked anything but good though at least the weather was nice.
“You’re not supposed to be out of your bedroom.”
I tried to keep smiling faintly while glancing out the window, but Father frowned as he spoke.
From his expression, it was clear he wasn’t pleased to see me here.
He must have told Tina to stay by my side so I wouldn’t leave the bedroom, and yet here I was. No wonder he was unsettled.
I’d have to smooth things over later so Tina wouldn’t get scolded because of me.
“It was a little noisy outside,” I explained.
Thanks to that, I woke up suddenly and got kicked out of that strange dream for no reason at all.
I kept my polite smile and spoke clearly.
Come to think of it, what even was that dream? It didn’t seem like a proper dream. And the owner of that dream…
I definitely couldn’t just ignore him.
“This child…”
Just then, a low voice came from in front of me. I snapped to attention and looked at the man standing there.
What? What are you staring at?
“So you are ‘that daughter.’”
In his eyes, I caught a small trace of pity. For a loan shark, he wasn’t a complete monster after all.
Ah, in that case—please, look closely. See how sickly I am.
I immediately loosened the focus in my eyes and gave him a pale-faced greeting.
“Hel—cough!—hello… I hope I’m not… cough, cough!—interrupting anything…”
How’s that for my award-worthy “frail invalid” performance? Though, to be fair, about 90% of it is real.
As I spoke in my barely-breathing voice, he muttered under his breath:
“…They said she might not last the day.”
Yes, that’s right. It’s been about seven years of “not lasting the day.” Gets old after a while.
“Ahem.”
After a few seconds of eye contact, the man cleared his throat and looked away.
Inside, I smiled in relief. Judging from that look, I’d say he was leaving—for today.
“For the sake of your daughter, I’ll leave now. Be glad I also have a girl about her age.”
His voice had softened compared to before, though before leaving the sitting room, he turned back to give one last warning.
“I’ll return at the end of the month for the interest. If the money still isn’t ready by then…”
“…”
“I won’t be so lenient next time.”
With that, he slammed the sitting room door and left the mansion.
I watched Father’s shoulders sag with exhaustion and let out a long sigh to match his.
Forget strange dreams—first, we had to deal with the fire burning in our own house.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
When we were finally alone in the sitting room, Father broke the awkward silence first.
Still sitting on the sofa, he ran a hand through his hair again and again. I walked over slowly and sat beside him.
“Father.”
The deep lines on his forehead told of years far heavier than his age.
If I’d been healthy, he wouldn’t have had to go through all this. Of course, if I said that out loud, he’d scold me for talking nonsense.
“How much did you borrow?”
Instead of offering shallow comfort, I asked to understand the situation.
Not that I expected an answer. Father wasn’t the kind of man who would answer such a question.
“You don’t need to worry about that, Mia.”
Yup. As expected. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to find out.
I pressed my lips together and fidgeted with my fingers.
‘Mother must know about this too.’
She was working as a lady-in-waiting to the Grand Duke these days, but Father wouldn’t hide something like this from her.
Which meant the situation was beyond even Mother’s ability to fix.
And since he’d turned into a loan shark, it was obvious he’d been paying debts with more debts until nothing was left to put up as collateral, leaving him unable to borrow any further.
It even made me wonder why Tina was still here.
“My lady!”
Speak of the devil—Tina rushed into the sitting room, carrying a tray with a glass of water.
It looked like she’d run here, but the water hadn’t spilled a drop. That’s Tina for you.
I waved at her as if I knew nothing.
She shot me a glare that could set fire to paper, then glanced at Father and bowed her head.
“I’m sorry, Master. I shouldn’t have left her side…”
“No, it’s fine. Mia must have slipped away again. The fault is mine for failing to quiet the disturbance.”
“That’s right, Father. Tina’s not at fault.”
At my words, both their eyes narrowed to thin slits. I had been interrupted at the worst possible time.
If I hadn’t come, he’d probably still be getting an earful from that man.
I pouted briefly, then placed my hand gently over Father’s.
Before anything else, there was something I needed to make clear.
“Father.”
He rolled his eyes toward me, meeting my gaze.
In his blue eyes, I saw my reflection—dull, brittle hair, hollow cheeks, dry lips.
Not beautiful by anyone’s standard, except to him, his only precious daughter.
“I hope you won’t waste any more of the family fortune because of me.”
It hurt to have to say this to him.
“Miena.”
“You’ve already tried so hard.”
They had done everything possible to keep me alive this long. By all rights, I should have died years ago.
“Don’t say such things, Mia.”
His voice was firmer now than when he’d faced the loan shark.
But this time, I wasn’t backing down.
Loan sharks? Not!
“You spent so much, and this is the result, Father.”
“How can you call it wasting…”
“We have to be realistic. Even after I’m gone, you and everyone in this mansion still have to go on living.”
“Don’t talk nonsense!”
His frown deepened with each word, until finally he pushed my hand away and shouted.
I didn’t look away from the anger, guilt, pity, and pain in his eyes. Instead, I slowly lifted the corners of my lips.
“I just want to spend the time I have left without worrying about anything, Dad.”
“…”
“I want to go places with you, see beautiful things… and if I can eat, taste delicious food too.”
I truly didn’t want to see everyone here suffering because of me anymore.
I’d already been given so much love and had already lived a happy life.
Now I just didn’t want them to hurt for my sake any longer.
“You talk like you’re leaving soon.”
After some time in silence, Father finally spoke in a low, tired voice.
I took his hand again and replied,
“I know my own body best.”
No matter what I did, I wouldn’t survive this winter. I could feel death creeping closer every moment—just like it had in my previous life.
“It’s time to prepare.”
To prepare for our parting.
I said it as calmly as ever, but Father’s eyes turned red.
He shook his head several times as if refusing to accept it, then stroked my hand with trembling fingers and exhaled a long breath.
Tina, looking like she was about to cry, quickly lowered her head when our eyes met.
I pretended not to notice the water stain on the rug and exhaled shallowly.
The pain squeezing my heart was already a familiar feeling.
Hmm… I hadn’t meant to set such a gloomy mood. I just wanted to say, “Don’t borrow from loan sharks because of me.”
However, it somehow turned into a somber atmosphere. A bit early for that…
“Sometimes I think…”
Once again, it was Father who broke the heavy silence.
