~Chapter 53~
Everything felt like a complete mess.
I had buried my face in the pillow, but now I slowly lifted my head.
The sky outside the window had already darkened.
Even though I fell asleep right after returning home, but I kept waking up again and again.
‘Ugh… my head hurts.’
I held my forehead as memories from earlier that morning came flooding back.
…It was the worst. Absolutely the worst.
There was no other word to describe this situation.
Not only did I take my frustration out on Ricardo, I couldn’t even speak properly like an idiot.
And did that make me feel any better?
Not at all.
If it had, I wouldn’t be regretting things like this.
Knock, knock.
“My lady, Lord Bluea is awake.”
At Emily’s words, I nodded.
“I’ll go now.”
I got up, brushing my hair quickly.
Emily followed behind me and continued talking.
“When you were asleep earlier, the marquis went out.”
“…Grandfather? Where to?”
Emily shook her head.
“I’m not sure, but he seemed a little down when he returned.”
“…”
“But I’m sure he’ll brighten up once he sees you!”
She gave me a thumbs-up.
Does she think I’m some kind of human vitamin?
Still, I thought I should cheer up a bit before seeing Grandfather.
Standing in front of his door, I slapped my cheeks a few times and cheerfully called out,
“Grandfather, it’s me! Bianca!”
As soon as I opened the door, the first thing to greet me was the strong scent filling the room.
It was a sedative—something to dull pain.
Past the smell, I saw Grandfather reading a book.
“Come in, my dear.”
“I thought my brother would be here too. I guess he already stopped by.”
I pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down.
Grandfather opened the window slightly, looking a bit embarrassed.
“…The smell’s quite strong, isn’t it?”
“It’s still better than my perfume.”
“Isn’t that what people call ‘fragrance’?”
“Then I guess you’ve never smelled real strong perfume, Grandfather.”
He let out a slow, helpless chuckle at my words.
“Cedric came by earlier.”
“Did he leave this book?”
On the pink cover were the bold words: ‘The Earl Who’s Only Mean to Me’.
…Is this a romance novel?
Seeing my awkward expression, Grandfather sighed deeply.
“He said I think too much, and left it for me.”
“Well, it’ll definitely stop you from thinking, that’s for sure.”
Oh, Cedric…
I quietly got up and closed the window.
Grandfather narrowed his eyes, clearly disapproving.
“I’m cold, okay? What if I catch a cold?”
“But it’s still summer.”
“Exactly! Summer colds are the worst, didn’t you know?”
I faked a shiver as I moved closer to him.
Instead of arguing, he simply patted the chair I had just left.
“My dear, sit with me for a bit?”
Was he about to say something serious?
I grew nervous, fidgeting slightly, and he gave a small smile.
“What is it?”
“You might’ve already heard from the butler that I went to the Hessen estate today.”
So that was where Emily said he’d gone.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Grandfather gently held my hand.
He was usually so composed, but now his voice came slowly, as if the words were hard to say.
“I know you’ve been trying to find a cure for my illness.”
“…!”
“And Cedric as well.”
A wave of anxiety washed over me.
“But you should stop now. I think it would be better if you both focused more on cherishing the time you have left. What do you think?”
“What if there’s a way?”
I tightened my grip on his hand.
“What if I already found a way…”
His eyes widened.
I began to ramble.
“I can take away your pain. You don’t have to suffer anymore.”
“…You never fail to surprise me.”
He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, then opened them again.
“So tell me, do you believe this is the right way?”
…So my guess was right.
Grandfather already knew.
About Ailins. About Dremokan. And about everything.
There was no need for me to hold back anymore.
“I actually met Ailins.”
“…!”
“She said she cursed you out of hatred for taking away her freedom.”
I hesitated, then continued.
“But I don’t understand what was wrong with ending the war.”
I could see Ailins’s perspective, but Grandfather had been the commander of the Carpea Knights.
I believe he made the best choice he could at the time.
After all, the losers of war often meet cruel fates.
“…Then why did you accept Dremokan?”
Even knowing Ailins would surely seek revenge?
Grandfather gave a bitter smile.
“They say people live for the future. But some people live trapped in the past.”
“…”
“I feel like I’m still on the battlefield.”
He gently held my hand, which was much smaller than his—with only four fingers remaining.
“I didn’t want something like that to happen again. That’s why someone needed to protect Dremokan.”
“But did it have to be you?”
My voice came out like a whine.
“…If I had known her rage would target those around me, I would have chosen differently.”
The moment Ailins awakened was on a full moon night.
Taking advantage of the weakened seal, she cursed the Roygin family.
Everyone died—except Grandfather. He survived, left alone in pain.
“Still, please don’t apologize to me.”
I quickly cut him off before he could say more.
“I’ve never once blamed you for anything.”
“…”
“Cedric probably feels the same.”
Cedric likely knew everything too—he’s smart.
But he never changed his attitude.
Grandfather quietly patted my hand.
“Cedric will always be a good brother to you. Ever since he came to me holding baby you in his arms.”
“I’m greedy, Grandfather. Just Cedric isn’t enough. You have to stay with me too.”
When Ailins spoke to me, I hesitated.
I was afraid of where her newfound freedom and rage would go.
But now, facing the end with Grandfather, I didn’t hesitate to hold onto him.
“Bianca, you really are a lot like me.”
“…!”
“I once pitied her too. I hated humanity’s greed, yet when I looked back, she had become a giant fear threatening me.”
Grandfather spoke with difficulty.
“What did she say to you? Promised you a peaceful life, while never revealing her true self?”
He hit the mark so perfectly, that I couldn’t reply.
“My dear, there’s no point in more war.”
“B-But what did you even do wrong?”
It sounded like a complaint.
I would’ve preferred if he had at least said he felt wronged.
It hurt, seeing him accept everything so calmly.
“Bianca, do you know?”
I shook my head, lips tightly sealed.
“In the Empire, killing one person makes you a criminal.”
“…”
“But someone like me, who killed hundreds… is called a hero.”
Grandfather’s lips trembled as he continued.
“I am a butcher, Bianca. I committed a sin too great to ever wash away.”
“That’s not true…!”
“I just hope you and Cedric live different lives. I hope your biggest worry is just a small moment like this.”
I remembered something he had once told me.
He hoped I would live peacefully, as Ricardo’s wife, never burdened by serious worries.
“…You may see yourself as a butcher, Grandfather, but I don’t.”
“…”
“Because it’s thanks to you that I was able to grow up dreaming of a normal future.”
I forced a smile.
“To me, you’re a hero.”
His eyes widened.
Maybe those words were too much for him to bear in his current state.
But still, I had to say them.
***
“My lady.”
As I stepped out of the room, Atticus was waiting for me.
“Bring Grandfather more romance novels. He’s thinking way too much.”
“You’re saying the exact same thing as the marquis.”
Atticus chuckled briefly, then handed me a letter.
“But more importantly, I have good news.”
Curious, I tore open the envelope.
“Congratulations, my lady.”
What I saw was the official cancellation of my engagement.
Signed by Ricardo.
And attached to the next page—the ownership deed to the Hurigon Mine.
