DSFL | Chapter 41

~Chapter 41~

‘It’s a relief Peril just let it go.’

I recalled what happened yesterday and made a firm resolution.

I’ll never overstep my boundaries in front of Peril again!

Thankfully, he promised to help me cross the Dremokan forest wall on the night of the full moon—if I brought a few required materials.

“…Thorny vines? Why this all of a sudden?”

 Emily asked as she looked at the note I was holding.

“Um, I’m not sure…”

 I didn’t really have an answer, so I mumbled vaguely.

“Ugh, and snail slime too? You can’t even buy this stuff anywhere!”

“Isn’t there any way to get it? I don’t care where.”

Honestly, anything was better than going out to collect it myself!

Emily let out a thoughtful hum and fell into deep thought. A moment later, she clapped her hands like she had a great idea.

“Come to think of it, I heard there’s a store in the underground market that sells rare goods.”

“Underground market?”

 “It’s a dangerous place for a lady like you, though.”

She let out a small sigh.

“It’s where witches used to get their potion ingredients. But honestly, the things you need sound exactly like the kind of items they’d sell there, don’t you think?”

I quietly nodded.

 I didn’t know what Peril needed those ingredients for, but… it’s similar to what a witch would use, isn’t it?

“Anyway, there are people who go and buy things from the underground market for others. I’ll try to find one of them.”

“…Are you sure you’ll be okay going alone?”

“Oh, of course! It’s my job anyway.”

After saying that, Emily glanced around before leaning in and whispering in my ear,

“If you buy me a dessert, I’ll be back faster than anyone.”

“Isn’t that a bit cheap? I’ll buy you as much as you want.”

At my words, Emily let out a happy scream.

“Then I’ll be right back! Please wait here for a bit!”

I waved at her as she disappeared into the distance and leaned back against the wall.

I let out a sigh and began watching the people passing by in the street, when—

“Huh? My lady?”

A familiar voice called out to me—it was Elliot. He walked right up with a bright smile, as if running into an old friend.

“What brings you here?”

…Could Ricardo be nearby too?

My eyes instinctively looked past Elliot, but he followed my gaze and turned his head.

“Are you looking for someone?”

Startled by his quiet mutter, I quickly changed the subject.

“It’s been a while.”

“Perfect timing! I was bored. Can I stay with you for a bit?”

“Uh… sure.”

Anyone watching would think we were close friends.

We’ve only met twice, though.

Still, I thought it was impressive how Elliot managed to keep such a cheerful attitude even in harsh, gloomy Hessen Household.

“Why are you here?”

“Oh, actually, I came as part of His Grace’s escort. But he didn’t seem to be in a good mood… so I snuck away!”

Elliot laughed heartily and pretended to run away.

“He gets angry often. You have to flee quickly when that happens.”

“Have you known Ricardo for a long time?”

He began counting on his fingers, then let out a soft laugh.

“It’s been a while, yeah.”

“….”

“By the way, haven’t you known His Grace for a long time too?”

What’s the point?

I hardly know anything about him, and we’re not exactly on good terms either.

Maybe realizing his mistake, Elliot quickly changed the topic.

“Still, I think it’s a good thing His Grace met you.”

“I don’t think Ricardo would agree.”

I replied dryly, but Elliot shook his head.

“He’s been looking much more cheerful lately. It’s all thanks to you.”

Elliot, you don’t get it.

He’s just curious.

 The girl who used to cling to him suddenly gave up—so now he’s interested.

“Hm… I’ve thought this for a while, but His Grace seems to be carrying a heavy burden.”

“A heavy burden?”

Elliot let out a deep sigh.

“Let’s just call it… the beliefs of Hesenka? Or rather, Lord Harnen’s beliefs, to be exact…”

“…”

 “Even if he doesn’t want to, it’s something he has to do. Because it’s what he’s lived for his whole life.”

Now that I think about it—back in Dians, Ricardo said:

‘If we had been just a little late, the whole plan would’ve fallen apart.’

It must’ve been about that plan related to Idette.

I lightly tapped the tip of my shoe against the ground.

 “…If he doesn’t want to do it, then why does he have to?”

Elliot gave a bitter smile. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak—

“My lady!”

I heard Emily’s voice calling from a distance. I snapped out of my thoughts.

“My maid is here, so I should go.”

“Wait, my lady…!”

Elliot suddenly reached out to stop me.

“His Grace really has become brighter since he met you.”

 “……”

“I mean it. Truly.”

It was the most serious expression I had ever seen on Elliot.

 That made it feel… strangely out of place.

***

Later…

‘…He looks brighter?’

Was that supposed to be a joke?

I’ll admit, there were moments when Ricardo’s actions seemed confusing.

 But so what?

Ricardo himself said he wanted to be hated by me.

I tried not to care, tried to act like it didn’t matter—but sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder…

…Am I just a joke to him?

It was something I didn’t want to admit.

 Because if I accepted that truth, I’d feel pathetic.

 I’d feel ashamed of the version of myself who once smiled so warmly in front of him.

But the truth was—he did treat me like a joke.

And now, just because he’s in a better mood, I’m supposed to stay by his side?

If I knew it would turn out like this, I should have ended things back in Dians.

With my head resting against the carriage wall, I stared blankly out the window.

“……”

I blinked slowly. In the distance, I saw Ricardo.

 Behind him, Elliot followed, looking embarrassed.

As soon as our eyes met, I knew.

I didn’t want to waste another second on this foolishness.

“Ricardo.”

Before I knew it, he had come close.

 He looked up at me, and a soft smile began to form on his face.

“…Have you been well?”

 He shielded his eyes from the sun with his palm as he greeted me.

I nodded quietly.

 The weather really was beautiful today.

“Today, I didn’t avoid you.”

I’m done falling for your twisted logic.

“So, I was thinking—since the weather is so nice, how about we break off the engagement?”

Ricardo instantly froze.

“The last time we talked about it, it was raining.”

 “……”

“But today, there’s not a cloud in the sky. It feels like the perfect day for a breakup.”

You said it yourself—if I wanted to end things, I shouldn’t avoid you.

If you really didn’t want to break off the engagement, you never should’ve said that.

“Bianca.”

Ricardo called my name in a rush.

“I’ll admit that both of us have changed. I even enjoyed our last conversation.”

I took a deep breath.

“But there’s something we’ve been deliberately avoiding—what happened with Idette.”

I don’t care what kind of relationship you had with her.

The real problem is that you had a fiancée and still had feelings for Idette.

 Whether you truly liked her or just acted like it, everyone believed you did.

And yet Ricardo never explained it. He didn’t even try to.

Because it’s easier to pretend it never happened.

“You think there’s no need to explain. And I think there’s no point in asking.”

Saying it out loud… felt strangely freeing.

“That’s the kind of relationship we have.”

Honestly, I should’ve been this honest from the beginning.

Ricardo’s eyes started to waver.

“…Because I knew it would hurt you.”

You say it’ll hurt me—but your expression looks like you’re the one in pain.

“…I only wanted to protect you.”

I didn’t know what else to say.

I hadn’t brought this up to ask for an apology.

I was the one who had decided to try understanding Ricardo.

 That was how I planned to survive in this world.

But once a person starts moving beyond the version you knew from a book… they’re hard to face.

In the end, all I could do was run away.

“…Keep your promise. I kept mine—I didn’t avoid you.”

With that, I closed the carriage window.

I couldn’t bear to look at Ricardo’s crumbling expression, so I turned my head.

A few moments later, Emily climbed into the carriage. She seemed to sense the heavy atmosphere and cautiously opened her mouth.

“Um… my lady…”

 “Yes?”

“I think you should return to the mansion quickly.”

Her words puzzled me, and I couldn’t hide my confusion.