Chapter 36
Reunited with My Lost Family
I thought Roel had given up since Envis was coming. But it seemed like he had been looking for me the whole time since I fell. When he saw me, his expression lit up.
“I’ve been looking for you…”
Roel stopped as he got closer to me. He seemed to notice my condition from the cold sweat and pale face, even though I had barely calmed down.
“……”
A very short silence passed. Roel looked at my face without saying anything.
Then, he smiled gently at me.
“This place is boring. Shall we go out?”
He looked very bold saying that.
I wouldn’t have cared about leaving early, but Roel was part of the family with Howard and Envis. Leaving before them even entered? Envis would definitely be furious if he found out.
“……You’ll get scolded by Nuna if you do that.”
“So what?”
Roel was completely relaxed. I couldn’t believe he had been so afraid of Envis before.
He smiled teasingly and held out his hand to me.
“Let’s go together, Ribe.”
“……”
I don’t know why, but seeing Roel’s smile felt like a weight on my chest had been lifted. Seeing him so bright and calm, even now, made me laugh a little without realizing it.
I took his hand.
Roel and I left the ballroom early.
I had received the teleportation scroll, but I couldn’t leave the carriage in the royal city, so I had to ride it for now.
Even after getting into the carriage to head to the duke’s mansion, I said nothing.
As soon as we left the ballroom, I surprisingly felt better. That made me feel even worse. I realized just how scared I had been in crowded places.
‘No wonder Chester was worried.’
This was worse than even what Chester had imagined. It wasn’t just fear—it had been real, terrifying panic. I was lucky I ran to the terrace; otherwise, I might have collapsed.
‘Can this really happen?’
Just being in a crowded place caused such intense fear. Even though I experienced it, I couldn’t understand it.
“……”
It wasn’t the people themselves, but the murmuring and whispers that scared me. I knew exactly what I feared, which made it even more frustrating.
My heart still felt heavy. I bit my lips and quietly called Roel.
“Roel.”
He looked at me immediately. I kept my gaze fixed outside the window.
“……I guess I’m afraid of people.”
I had to admit it now. I was such a pathetic person.
It wasn’t just fear of crowded places.
Whispers, hostile looks, envy, and jealousy—everything I had suffered since I was young scared me. Probably ever since I was very little.
As a noble, I should have been prepared for gossip. That’s why it was so embarrassing that I was afraid of things others didn’t even think about.
I expected Roel to mock me, but surprisingly, he didn’t.
“That’s possible,” he said calmly.
I stared at him, shocked.
“How can a noble be scared of a single ballroom? People would gossip so much.”
“So what if they do?”
Roel said casually.
“They’re people who don’t matter anyway.”
His expression was as cold as when he first entered the ballroom.
‘When he was at the Grand Duke’s, he seemed to like people so much.’
Roel was kind and caring, even noticing every servant. He had been ridiculously warm and affectionate. But now, he seemed indifferent.
Looking at him this way, all the rumors about Roel in the social world seemed true. He was kinder to commoners than nobles. Howard had also said Roel didn’t like the fake politeness of the noble world. That’s why he might have seemed cold and blunt to other nobles.
“You don’t have to do what you hate, Ribe. It’s better to avoid balls from now on.”
“……”
I couldn’t understand how he could accept me in such a pathetic state. I was the perfect example of the arrogant noble he disliked most.
Roel had first met me as a commoner, which was why he liked me. He didn’t know my true noble self, and I didn’t know if he would be disappointed when he found out.
I wasn’t a good person like he thought. I preferred to reveal myself first rather than hurt someone by disappointing them.
“Why are you still kind to me, even though you’ve heard I’m a noblewoman? You must have heard rumors at least once.”
“A saint?”
“No, not the fake Ribe rumors. A long time ago.”
I hesitated but spoke.
“…The one that said I was a villain.”
Selfish, arrogant villain. I had heard those whispers every time I attended a ball. Since I was very young, the term “villain” had become a part of me.
Roel looked puzzled.
“Have you ever killed anyone, Ribe?”
“Of course not!”
I was shocked. How could he ask that so casually?
“Or treated people badly?”
“…No.”
I had never treated anyone—servants or nobles—rudely, though I wasn’t overly friendly either.
Roel looked genuinely confused.
“Then what exactly was bad about you?”
There had to be flaws that people criticized, so I thought. I tried to recall them.
‘First, I looked down on commoners.’
I had, but I never cursed or hit them. My family didn’t either.
‘Arrogant.’
I had never boasted to anyone. I hid any qualities that might make people envious.
‘……’
The more I thought, the more confused I became. I had believed the criticism because I grew up hearing it, but compared to the words, I had never actually done evil.
“The image wasn’t made by you, Ribe. It was made by other nobles. They look for faults to criticize.”
“……”
“They made you suffer with words, and you just believed it yourself.”
I would have been criticized no matter what. So I lived according to the image people gave me, convinced I was arrogant.
“Even knowing the criticism, Ribe didn’t complain to your family or act directly. You could have stopped it easily, so why did you stay silent?”
“……”
I paused, then finally answered.
“…I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”
My father and brothers cared for me more than anything, but they were merciless to others.
If I had told them, I didn’t know what they might have done. My whole family was like that—protective but ruthless regarding family matters.
This fear started when I was very young, before debuting in society. I used to be a bit friendly with the servants, especially one I treated like an older sister.
One day, I overheard her talking badly about me and ran crying to my father in shock.
The next day, she was gone.
Since then, servants became careful around me. Even those close to me kept distance.
I had wanted comfort, but my small complaint caused that. That’s when I stopped relying on my family.
Even such small actions made them so harsh. Hearing rumors in society made me terrified. That’s why I took extra care to keep things from my family. I endured the gossip silently.
“Ribe was just a fragile person. That’s why she built walls around herself.”
“……”
“I don’t think Ribe is bad.”
Roel looked at me warmly.
“And even if Ribe were really bad, I wouldn’t care.”
“……”
“Because anything is fine as long as it’s you.”
I couldn’t say anything, just looked at him.
We arrived at the duke’s mansion with Roel.
The maids told me something unexpected as soon as we got out of the carriage.
“The head of the family wishes to meet Grand Duke and Miss Ribera separately.”
Kevin, who had always avoided meeting me, suddenly wanted to see me? And separately from Roel? That was a bit suspicious.
‘…Still, it’s good.’
For whatever reason, I finally had a chance to speak to Kevin.
I was about to tell Roel to go first, but he spoke first.
“Ribe, you go first.”
“What? You’re the guest; you should go first.”
“You’re a guest too, Ribe.”
“……”
True. After staying at the duke’s mansion for days, I had forgotten I was technically a guest.
“Then you’ll go rest in your room?”
“No, I also have someone to see.”
“Who?”
“I have to greet Ribe’s father.”
“……”
I was surprised by his unexpected answer. On the way here, he had heard about my father, and now he wanted to pay respects. It made me feel a little strange.
“……Alright, I’ll see you later.”
“Yes, have a good conversation.”
I followed the maid after Roel’s greeting.
We arrived at the audience room.
As soon as I entered, I saw someone. I didn’t inspect carefully but bowed immediately.
“I greet Duke Allenhart.”
“……”
There was no answer to my greeting.
