— Are you sick?
“…I’m fine.”
I said I was fine as always, but every time I opened my mouth, a hot breath escaped.
— What do you mean you’re fine? Your voice sounds like you’re on your last legs.
The sound of her clicking her tongue and sighing was a reprimand. It was as if I could see my mother’s annoyed and pitiful expression, asking if I couldn’t even take care of myself.
— If you can’t go to the hospital, at least take some aspirin and go to sleep.
“…Okay.”
I knew she hadn’t called to check on me, so I waited for her to say what she really wanted to say. An awkward silence hung in the air, then a moment later, she spoke.
— Don’t come home for the holidays this year. Let’s just grab a meal out somewhere after the holiday is over.
“…”
Ah. That’s what she called to say.
Now that I knew the reason, I wanted to hang up. I didn’t have the energy to respond, so I said nothing. A little concerned, my mom added in a half-hearted tone, — As you know, the kids are a bit older, and it seems like they’re uncomfortable meeting you. They have exams coming up, and my in-laws will be visiting.
In other words, there was no need for me to come.
Even in my feverish state, I recalled the way my mother’s remarried husband and daughters looked at me. It felt awkward to call them my stepfather and stepsisters, since we hadn’t lived together. When my dad died in a car accident in elementary school, my mom remarried and left. After that, I was raised by my paternal grandmother. I only saw my mom’s new family once a year, during the holidays, for a single meal.
I knew they felt more uncomfortable and distant with me than with strangers, but I continued the formal meetings because they were still my mom’s family. In truth, that time was just as awkward and uncomfortable for me.
This time, I was almost relieved that she was honest and told me not to come.
“…Okay. I’ll hang up now.”
— If you’re going to get this sick, you should have gone to the hospital sooner. You’re foolishly just groaning in pain instead of going out and getting some medicine…
Before she could finish her reproachful words, the phone slipped from my hand and fell onto the blanket.
On a day like this, I missed my grandmother more than my mom or my deceased dad. Now that my grandmother was gone, too, I felt a deep sense of loneliness, as if I were truly alone in the world. It hurt more than my body, as if something was throbbing and pressing down on my heart.
But wait, had I returned to reality? For real? Even in my dizzy state, I was confused by the situation. I had thought about going back to reality every day, but now that I had, I didn’t feel happy at all. Whether here or in the novel, I was alone anyway, so what did it matter where I was?
The high fever made my eyes well up with hot tears on their own, and then a soft touch gently wiped them away. I couldn’t open my eyes to see who it was, but the kind touch continued. It carefully brushed my sweaty forehead, as if to catch me from falling endlessly into the abyss below the bed, giving me strength even as I ached.
“Ugh…”
I struggled to lift my eyelids, and instead of the desolate studio apartment I had just seen, I could faintly make out the shimmering light on a ceiling.
“My lady, are you alright?”
My eyes snapped open in surprise. I was back in the novel, in my bedroom. I was confused, blinking my eyes and staring at the chandelier, and Ena’s voice came to me, full of concern.
“You must have had a bad dream. You’re drenched in sweat.”
Just as she said, my forehead and the back of my neck were soaked. But the terrible body aches I had just suffered were gone without a trace. I looked down slightly, and I saw that Ena’s hand was holding mine tightly. That warm touch from my dream must have been Ena.
“Oh! My, my lady, I’m sorry. You were gripping the blanket so tightly and looked so distressed that I just… I couldn’t help myself.”
Ena was flustered and quickly tried to pull her hand away, but I grabbed it again. “Thank you. I think I’ve just been exhausted from everything that’s happened since I got married to the Duke. I had a bad dream.”
It must have been a sincere feeling, as Ena looked at me with a pitiful, affectionate gaze. She had always treated me with such formality after becoming my exclusive maid, but now that she had seen my vulnerable side, the wall between us seemed to have thinned, and a sense of familiarity was starting to grow.
“You didn’t eat anything and went to bed, so you must be hungry, right? You were sleeping so deeply that I couldn’t wake you. I’ll go down to the kitchen right away and bring you something light to eat.” Ena said brightly as she helped me sit on the bed.
“The head chef made veal cream stew for dinner, and you absolutely have to try it. I guarantee it’s the best recipe he has.”
Her cheerful tone was just like the way she used to talk to the original Stella. The way she would secretly lay out delicious food and chatter away in front of Stella.
“I made sure to tell them to save some for you to eat when you woke up.” It seemed she felt a little more confident talking to the kitchen staff now that she didn’t have to sneak food out like before.
“Okay. Hearing you talk about it suddenly makes me hungry.”
I touched my stomach, and she smiled sweetly, as if she knew I would say that, and left the room with light steps.
After Ena left, I got up from the bed. My body, which had felt like it was dying from the pain in the dream, was now perfectly fine without a fever. Only my wrist, which had been hurt from falling, ached a little.
Why did I have to have a dream about a day like that?
I don’t know why a day that isn’t even a good memory had to appear in my dreams and torment me. But one strange thing was that my feelings had changed a little after the dream. Until now, I had always thought I had to go back to reality someday, but now that feeling was gone. On the contrary, I felt relieved, to the point where I wanted to start a new, good life here, since there was no family waiting for me back there anyway.
I paced back and forth on the carpet and decided to get some fresh air to shake off the lingering drowsiness. I opened the door and went out to the terrace. I must have slept for a long time after taking the medicine, as the moon was high in the pitch-black sky and the stars were twinkling brightly.
The cool air on my face cleared my head. All the distracting thoughts disappeared, and I began to focus on the one thing that had been bothering me from the beginning.
Yerena Guinevere…
The image of her tenderly wiping my wound with a handkerchief and her dark side, secretly plotting someone’s death, overlapped in a strange, dissonant way.
The hunting competition was held a little after the wedding. That’s when Kayla was thoroughly pegged as the bad guy. After that day, she even got the nickname ‘the malicious Duchess.’
As I often did, I chewed on my nails and carefully reviewed that episode from the beginning of the novel. Kayla came to the capital and married Riccardo, then became greatly distressed upon hearing rumors about his relationship with Yerena. I thought that was understandable, but what happened at the hunting competition felt a little out of place.
That day, Yerena was injured in the shoulder by an arrow, supposedly shot by Kayla. Kayla even admitted that she had shot the arrow by mistake when she was being questioned.
Even if Kayla didn’t have good feelings for Yerena, would she have been so reckless as to harm Yerena at a public event where everyone was watching? Especially when she had just gotten married and was still struggling to adapt to the situation here?
Besides, the act was so amateurish for Kayla to have done it. If, on the other hand, Yerena had been trying to frame Kayla, it showed how little she thought of Kayla. It was laughable that she thought such a plan would be accepted without any suspicion. And it was even more ridiculous that the plan actually worked just as Yerena had intended.
The imperial family’s annual event, the hunting competition, will surely be held soon.
Since I had a fundamental doubt about whether Kayla had really done such a thing, I decided to jump into the situation myself. Only this time, I would test Yerena first. The upcoming hunting competition might provide the answer to a certain suspicion that was still not quite clear.
Deep Night
On the third floor, in the Duke’s office.
Riccardo was reading reports late into the night. He was tired and pressed his eyelids. He rose from his seat, poured a glass of liquor from the cabinet, and slowly walked out to the terrace. He cooled his head in the fresh night air and took a sip of the bitter alcohol. Then, he felt a presence on the terrace below.
He looked down at an angle and saw her on the terrace of his room. No, the room where the woman was now staying. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice him at all, even though she would be able to see him on the diagonal just by lifting her head. He had no reason to hide, so he slowly tilted his glass and watched her with a detached gaze.
He watched her place her arms on the terrace railing, resting her head on her hands and looking up at the moon. Then she tapped her chin and muttered something to herself in a low voice.
