~Chapter 8~
“I think I’ve heard of it.”
“It was a small country, but it survived through diplomacy and social skills. But I never developed the language ability. Not even now, at twenty.”
“…Did your younger sister develop it?”
“Yeah. In our country, the throne isn’t automatically passed to the eldest daughter.”
I was close to a mutant among the royal family members who were born with language abilities. I couldn’t understand foreign languages without studying them.
Every time an envoy from a distant country visited, my father and younger sister would converse fluently in their native tongue, as if they were speaking their own language.
No matter how much I studied, I couldn’t fully understand. When everyone else laughed, I had to laugh along, pretending to understand.
My family treated me like I was lacking in some way.
I had gotten used to the sympathetic looks. I thought of myself as their sore thumb, but I realized later on that I wasn’t a thumb but a tumor.
“I was discarded because I was the least useful child. That’s all. Yet, I still wanted to escape—escape from being the prince’s courtesan.”
Saying it out loud helped me make sense of everything. My parents made the most logical decision they could.
“Prince’s cour… what?”
The prince furrowed his brow, as though he had heard something wrong.
“It’s a derogatory term for the princesses of Ruby Palace.”
“Why do they point fingers at them?”
“Because they warm the beds of the princes.”
Since he was a new hostage, he probably didn’t know. I answered calmly.
“What do you mean, warm the beds of the princes…?”
His face contorted in horror, his expression becoming more and more incredulous.
“The princes have relations when they want. As payment, they receive jewelry. They save it up, buy a mansion outside the palace, and when their youth fades, they get a new hostage and leave. That’s usually how it goes.”
The lives of the princesses in Ruby Palace mostly go like this. They rarely return to their home countries. Even if they did, they would only receive scorn for selling themselves to the invading nation.
A ripple spread in the prince’s golden eyes, growing larger like a stone thrown into a pond.
“Actually, I tried to enter a monastery with the help of that priest. Princesses, who don’t attract much attention from the royalty, could claim they wanted to devote themselves to the temple and live in the royal monastery.”
“…”
“I tried to avoid the princes’ gaze on purpose. But it seems that doesn’t keep you safe from all danger. I thought I could protect myself that way, but in the end, it was the priest who targeted me.”
I thought if I just avoided the predators—the princes—I’d be fine. But it wasn’t like that. Danger lurked everywhere, and I had no ability to avoid it.
I used to not understand the other princesses of Ruby Palace.
They wore heavy makeup, smelled of strong perfume, wore revealing clothes that exposed their chests, and carried soulless smiles.
They often contracted STDs, sought treatment, and when they felt better, returned to the arms of the princes.
I thought it was self-abuse.
Two hostage princesses who were pregnant with the crown prince’s children were poisoned to death. Their families didn’t even attend their funerals. Even the other princesses of Ruby Palace ignored their deaths. I alone placed chrysanthemums on their coffins in solitude.
“Funny, I thought I was different from the others. That was just arrogant pride with no basis.”
I had no right to judge the survival tactics of others.
“I used to think it was shameful when other princesses sold their bodies for jewels. But you know what? You think they wanted to do that?”
“…”
“They bend with the wind. They don’t want to break or snap, they just want to survive.”
A stronger wind blew, tousling my hair.
The prince stayed silent, his head slightly bowed in reverence, as if in mourning.
This might have been an uncomfortable truth for the new hostage, but eventually, he would understand it too.
“Anyway, thank you. You helped me realize there’s no escape at the end of the path I was walking.”
“…”
“It took too long to realize the truth. Now, I guess I’ll have to make compromises.”
I threw a question into the air that no one could answer.
I closed my eyes, and the faces of the princes I knew flashed in my mind. The thought of being close to them made me feel sick.
Maybe it would be better to die than to live that way.
…How extreme, I thought. It felt uncomfortable to think like that. I bit my trembling lips and hid my shaking hands inside my sleeves.
Again, a cold silence settled.
I glanced at the prince. His face had drained of color, and he was washing his face with cold water. His expression was very dark.
I probably spoke too bleakly.
For a friend in a similar situation, I should have told more pleasant and positive stories.
Suddenly, I realized. I didn’t even know the prince’s name.
“By the way, what’s your name? You only told me you came from Saragot.”
“Anto…”
The prince started to answer but trailed off.
“Anto?”
“Anton… You can call me that.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and replied.
“Yeah, Anton. Let’s be friends.”
I extended my hand.
Anton looked down at my hand without saying a word, then shook it after a few seconds.
As we shook hands, I smiled confidently.
For the first time, I had made a human friend, not a bird. After living in Ruby Palace for five years.
“Let’s get along, Anton.”
“…Just one question. Can you command birds?”
Still holding my hand, he suddenly asked a different question.
Honestly, I was taken aback. I didn’t command birds; I just understood them.
But I was still hesitant to admit I was the one who’d harmed the princes.
“Ah, no. I couldn’t do that. I just like birds.”
I looked away and lied. Anton closed his eyes for a moment, still holding my hand.
“Is it a vessel?”
Anton murmured as he opened his eyes, and I couldn’t quite catch what he said.
“Huh? What?”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll see you next time.”
He gently released my hand and stood up.
Prince Anton from Saragot. Maybe it was because of his warm body temperature, but I still felt the warmth of his hand lingering.
For some reason, I felt a little better.
Anton returned to his quarters and tugged roughly at his cravat.
“I lied. I lied in front of Josephine, the princess of Iote.”
He couldn’t boldly say he was a prince of Tristum.
He gave a different name because of that.
‘It’s the first time I’ve felt sick watching someone smile.’
The woman, speaking about being abandoned by her parents, remained calm until the end. The smile she showed at the end was so pitiful, it could squeeze someone’s heart.
Anton covered his face with both hands, trying to hide his distorted expression.
He realized that the slim hope she had was now crushed.
Though the priest was the one at fault, Anton felt unpleasant and uncomfortable, as if it was him who had mercilessly broken her resolve.
He knew only the functional side of Ruby Palace.
He had left the imperial palace when he was seven years old.
He lived without knowing much. He never knew what his country and his own people did to the hostages.
But he knew there was no excuse worse than ignorance.
Ruby Palace, where the royalty’s courtesans lived. He wanted to get that princess out of the mud. No, maybe it would be better to get rid of the mud altogether.
But he didn’t have the right to do that…
“His Majesty is requesting you.”
Around dusk, Count Godric, the emperor’s chamberlain, arrived.
Anton prepared himself and headed to the central palace. The emperor was sitting in his private library, holding a pipe.
“Sit.”
Anton nodded and sat down on the sofa opposite the emperor.
As he looked at his youngest son, half-leaning against the backrest of the sofa in a slouched position, the emperor laughed.
“What is it that you’ve come to discuss? Will you finally answer me today?”
With a rebellious glint in his eyes, Anton stared at his father.
“Antonio.”
“Yes.”
“Find your place.”
The smile that had been lingering on the emperor’s lips had vanished without a trace.
